Deutsche Gopher Fan
Registered User
Glad to see you’re still here!!!
USCHO Fan Forum
This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!
-
The USCHO Fan Forum has migrated to a new plaform, xenForo. Most of the function of the forum should work in familiar ways. Please note that you can switch between light and dark modes by clicking on the gear icon in the upper right of the main menu bar. We are hoping that this new platform will prove to be faster and more reliable. Please feel free to explore its features.
Travel 4: All Around the World Same Song
- Thread starter St. Clown
- Start date
Glad to see you’re still here!!!
leswp1
New member
I have drifted a way a bit. But I check inYou show that you understand how special this is, Slap. I remember the mixed emotions I had accompanying my kids to the colleges they chose. Excited and happy for them but aware of the quiet space they will leave behind in your home.
Slap Shot
I got nothing
It's all I can do to not lose my shit. I am going to miss him like you cannot believe. If he was closer it wouldn't hurt so bad. And even knowing he has so many family members close by helps knowing he will be fine, it doesn't help the hole that's here knowing he's gone. I am so proud of him, excited for him and he's going to be a star. But I don't know how to describe the butterflies. Tonight he said himself he's going to miss me and I had to remain strong. This is life and this is progression but that's my boy.
mookie1995
there's a good buck in that racket.
mookie couldn’t wait to escape western pa and start out on his own. have to temper that memory with the guys now as they leave as mookie knows everyone approaches this differently. just have to let them know you are there to support them and help with whatever they may need, as well as give them as much space they want or don’t want.
huge difference as well in just a generation as mookie can txt or FaceTime have way around the world and speak with them instantly while back then it was writing letters or making long distance calls that would cost an arm and a leg!!!
huge difference as well in just a generation as mookie can txt or FaceTime have way around the world and speak with them instantly while back then it was writing letters or making long distance calls that would cost an arm and a leg!!!
leswp1
New member
This brings back memories. It was the missing toothbrush in the holder that made me cry every night.
We were lucky enough that even tho he was in a dorm he went to the school mr les worked at. He was on a team and we knew if he was in trouble the coaches would not hesitate to light him up or support as needed. We got to see him compete but it was heart wrenching for the first year. I was a mess.
We were lucky enough that even tho he was in a dorm he went to the school mr les worked at. He was on a team and we knew if he was in trouble the coaches would not hesitate to light him up or support as needed. We got to see him compete but it was heart wrenching for the first year. I was a mess.
unofan
Well-known member
God, I remember using calling cards in college to call home once every week or two.
MinnesotaNorthStar
Minding the gap
One of my off-campus roommates in college would use a calling card (we didn't have a long distance plan) to call his parents and tell them to call him back so as to only use a minute at a time.
There's a quiet place where they were, but there's also their friends who are no longer coming and going, sometimes like they were your own.
leswp1
New member
this is true
The boy is all moved into his dorm and orientation week starts tomorrow. I know he's going to be ok but dad needs a hug.
Isn't he too handsome to be yours?
Slap Shot
I got nothing
One is never too handsome to be a Gopher! But I might have out-kicked my coverage.
Kepler
Cornell Big Red
ScoobyDoo
NPC
The boy is all moved into his dorm and orientation week starts tomorrow. I know he's going to be ok but dad needs a hug.
Congratulations.
leswp1
New member
Hang in there! SOmeone shared this to my timeline when lilnsl went off to college- I thought it was spot on-
Laura A. De Veau
August 18, 2018 ?
“Very soon, I’ll be dropping my child off” ... I have seen many FB posts start out like this. I am seeing photos accompany the posts, baby photos, childhood memories, and high school graduations. Parents with heartfelt statements of how they can’t believe where the time has gone, and how they are feeling overwhelmed by the change that is coming.
While I don’t have a child going away, I’ve been on the receiving end of children arriving for my entire career, and this fall will be the first time since 1987 that I am not going to be there to help. So, here it is, my help.
Kids: let your parents unpack your stuff. Seriously. It’s their coping mechanism, if one parent puts your clothes in the wrong drawers - don’t freak out. Just say thanks. You can move it later. If a parent insists they don’t want to leave until you are hooked up to the wireless, and you know full well they can’t figure it out - gently say, “it’s ok, I got this. And by the way, when you get back home, I wrote down how to fix all the bugs with the router there.” Take photos of your parents helping you move, not selfies of yourself. This will be a memory you don’t want to forget.
Parents: overpacking is going to happen. Remember, it’s August, they don’t need their heaviest winter jackets. That is what Thanksgiving break -and shipping things later is for. Cleaning supplies? Get the pop up wipes, college kids don’t use paper towels when they DO clean (because they used them all up as napkins for their pizza). And no, you don’t have to empty the local COSTCO of microwavable snacks and bottled water. They will not starve, in fact, you want them to go out and mingle in the dining rooms, and snack bars and local places - that’s where they will meet people. Pack one thing - a wrapped gift, an artifact from your home. Nothing expensive, but something significant, a favorite coffee mug, or a piece of needlework that hangs in the hallway, or something that makes them laugh every time you wear it. Wrap it up with a note and leave it in the room for them to open after you leave. That way you know you will be there with them.
For you all: Call enough and text enough, but that isn’t all day every day. Make a time to connect each week. Write letters and send mail. Real mail. It means something, and it doesn’t have to be poetry - what matters is authenticity. Tell them what it is like to achieve something because of something they taught you (this goes both ways), send them a treat and a copy of their favorite magazine, or simply write down three words, ”I Love You“ with the date that you wrote it on a napkin from the local coffee shop, to show them the date and where you were when you were when you were thinking of them.
Let your kid go it alone, and ask your parents to let you. If you see parents over parent their kids, that isn’t your cue to do the same; and if you see classmates relinquishing all decision making to their parents, that doesn’t mean you are being deprived of help by yours. Meaningful help is the best help.
All parties associated with this entire situation will screw up. Own it. Realize it. There are big screw ups (Forgetting to pay deposits and missing key deadlines) do your very best to not have those happen. Some schools are entirely unforgiving about them, and those schools that are wishy washy about it? ... don’t let their incapacity to manage their own business operations drive your actions. But the little screw ups? Own them and learn from them. They will make for wonderful family stories down the road.
Finally, remember this - there is never enough love and compassion. When you are on the receiving end of a call from your child or your parent that is sending you over the edge, stop and remember that YOU aren’t them. You don’t know what else is going on where they are. What stressors, what life’s challenges are hitting them in the face. You don’t know what just happened to them, that is making them feel like they do. Never ever tell them, “that’s no big deal.” Because right then and there it is a big deal. Rather, say, “it sounds like this is a big thing for you. Is there anything else going on?“. And soon, you will find the nugget of truth where all this emotion is growing from.
Parents, kiddos ... it is a wonderful ride. Love every minute of it. And yes, it’s ok to cry.
Laura A. De Veau
August 18, 2018 ?
“Very soon, I’ll be dropping my child off” ... I have seen many FB posts start out like this. I am seeing photos accompany the posts, baby photos, childhood memories, and high school graduations. Parents with heartfelt statements of how they can’t believe where the time has gone, and how they are feeling overwhelmed by the change that is coming.
While I don’t have a child going away, I’ve been on the receiving end of children arriving for my entire career, and this fall will be the first time since 1987 that I am not going to be there to help. So, here it is, my help.
Kids: let your parents unpack your stuff. Seriously. It’s their coping mechanism, if one parent puts your clothes in the wrong drawers - don’t freak out. Just say thanks. You can move it later. If a parent insists they don’t want to leave until you are hooked up to the wireless, and you know full well they can’t figure it out - gently say, “it’s ok, I got this. And by the way, when you get back home, I wrote down how to fix all the bugs with the router there.” Take photos of your parents helping you move, not selfies of yourself. This will be a memory you don’t want to forget.
Parents: overpacking is going to happen. Remember, it’s August, they don’t need their heaviest winter jackets. That is what Thanksgiving break -and shipping things later is for. Cleaning supplies? Get the pop up wipes, college kids don’t use paper towels when they DO clean (because they used them all up as napkins for their pizza). And no, you don’t have to empty the local COSTCO of microwavable snacks and bottled water. They will not starve, in fact, you want them to go out and mingle in the dining rooms, and snack bars and local places - that’s where they will meet people. Pack one thing - a wrapped gift, an artifact from your home. Nothing expensive, but something significant, a favorite coffee mug, or a piece of needlework that hangs in the hallway, or something that makes them laugh every time you wear it. Wrap it up with a note and leave it in the room for them to open after you leave. That way you know you will be there with them.
For you all: Call enough and text enough, but that isn’t all day every day. Make a time to connect each week. Write letters and send mail. Real mail. It means something, and it doesn’t have to be poetry - what matters is authenticity. Tell them what it is like to achieve something because of something they taught you (this goes both ways), send them a treat and a copy of their favorite magazine, or simply write down three words, ”I Love You“ with the date that you wrote it on a napkin from the local coffee shop, to show them the date and where you were when you were when you were thinking of them.
Let your kid go it alone, and ask your parents to let you. If you see parents over parent their kids, that isn’t your cue to do the same; and if you see classmates relinquishing all decision making to their parents, that doesn’t mean you are being deprived of help by yours. Meaningful help is the best help.
All parties associated with this entire situation will screw up. Own it. Realize it. There are big screw ups (Forgetting to pay deposits and missing key deadlines) do your very best to not have those happen. Some schools are entirely unforgiving about them, and those schools that are wishy washy about it? ... don’t let their incapacity to manage their own business operations drive your actions. But the little screw ups? Own them and learn from them. They will make for wonderful family stories down the road.
Finally, remember this - there is never enough love and compassion. When you are on the receiving end of a call from your child or your parent that is sending you over the edge, stop and remember that YOU aren’t them. You don’t know what else is going on where they are. What stressors, what life’s challenges are hitting them in the face. You don’t know what just happened to them, that is making them feel like they do. Never ever tell them, “that’s no big deal.” Because right then and there it is a big deal. Rather, say, “it sounds like this is a big thing for you. Is there anything else going on?“. And soon, you will find the nugget of truth where all this emotion is growing from.
Parents, kiddos ... it is a wonderful ride. Love every minute of it. And yes, it’s ok to cry.
Hope you're doing OK, Slap. It took me quite a while. Three times.
? for you frequent flyers. Mrs. burd and I are flying ORD to SFO on Saturday, the 11th, for a week-long retreat with kids. It will be the 20th anniversary of 9-11; should we expect much change, time-wise, in the security process?
? for you frequent flyers. Mrs. burd and I are flying ORD to SFO on Saturday, the 11th, for a week-long retreat with kids. It will be the 20th anniversary of 9-11; should we expect much change, time-wise, in the security process?