I wanted a person with muscular dystrophy to make it look authentic, and the Actors’ Union of America said, “You cannot do that.” Because basically the problem is people with muscular dystrophy, I think, are only allowed to work for two hours a day before they get too tired. And I said, “All right, what other disabilities and diseases are allowed to work longer?” And they sent me a list. And on this list, I said, “Can you get rid of all the contagious ones? And what have we got left?” So I saw every disabled actor in Hollywood, and I’ll be honest with you, not that many of them. I don’t know why. Maybe they’re just lazy. They don’t wanna work. Maybe they give up on their dreams rather quickly. And none of them were very good, either. Everyone we saw, none of them were very good ’cause acting is all about what you do with your hands. None of them knew what to do with their hands, and… they all came in. Until this one guy came in. I had seen a lot of people that day. This guy was the most disabled person I’d ever seen in my life. He was like… Think of the most disabled person you’ve seen, then double it. …really super disabled. He was shaped like a pretzel. He was being carried in by this big Russian nurse, carried him in. He made that great disabled sound of… [Groans] That one. I just loved him. Anyway… so he comes in for the audition… and I’m sitting there, and we’re doing the lines together, and at first, I didn’t know if he was mentally all there either, so I was being a little bit patronizing. I was going, “Thank you so much for coming in.” And then we did the dialog together, and I didn’t have to worry about a thing. This kid was funny. He was smart. His timing was impeccable. I thought he was just great, and I helped him out of the room, and I come back to the director and I said, “That’s our guy. That’s who we gotta pick.” And he agreed, but we had to see everyone else who was still in the waiting room. So the next bloke wheels himself in. Now, obviously, he’s just a paraplegic if he’s wheeling himself in, which means the waist down, and that didn’t really suit me because… paraplegics can get themselves to a hooker without my assistance. But I thought… “If he’s a good enough actor, maybe he can quad-up for the role.” So he comes in… He comes in, I shake his hand, and his leg slightly comes out at the same time. And I went, “Whoa! What’s going on there, kicky?” And he goes… “Oh, you got me! I’m not disabled.” And I said, “You’re ****ing what now?” And he goes, “I’m not disabled. I just really wanted the role, so I rented a wheelchair.” And I said, “Just shut up. So let me… This is how your day has mapped-out thus far. You woke up this morning. You drove to the wheelchair rental place. You rented a wheelchair. You carried it out, I assume. You put it in the trunk of your car. You drove here. You got the wheelchair out. You carried it up three flights of stairs. You went to the waiting room. You put it down next to the severely disabled man and his nurse. Then you sat in it and practiced your lines.” And he went… “Yeah.” And I said, “You’re a ****ing *******, mate. Get the **** out of here.” And I kicked him out. And later on that day, I’m sitting there with all the headshots of all the different actors I’m gonna call to tell them they’ve got parts, and I’m holding this disabled guy’s headshot, and I just think, “I’m gonna call this guy up. I’m gonna change his life. This is an awesome moment, right?” And I’m looking at it, and he looks super handsome in his headshot. He looked really like… And I thought, “This has gotta be the greatest photographer with the fastest shutter in camera history.” The shutter on his camera has gotta be like… [Mimicking camera shutter] Like… [Audience applauding] And then I read the guy’s biography… and then it dawned on me. “This guy’s not disabled either! I hated the other ****er for renting a wheelchair! This **** rented a nurse!” Do you wanna know the level of ****ing psychosis you have to go through to rent a ****ing nurse? I’m all for a method actor. Get into character three hours before, but once you finish the audition, stand up and go, “Ta-da!” And we would have gone, “That was very good.” But I’ll tell you what you don’t do. Don’t make me carry you to your car! I carried him down three flights of stairs going, “You did very good.” He’s like, “Thank you, Jim.” [Laughing]
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My Google-Fu fails me.)
I felt that the first 45 minutes was Exposition Dump: The Movie. You also just have things mentioned in passing that are HUGE and just have to run with it. Overall the narrative was VERY predictable, but the ending did serve the purpose, so it gets a passing grade. I can see why the internet is in a tizzy over this. As people see the movie, I do feel that word of mouth will kill the run of this movie and that it will have to earn all of it's money by New Year's Day.