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A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

I'd say some of the best posts on USCHO come from Bob in this thread.


One of my favorites:
My parents in 1999: Don't trust anyone on the Internet.

My dad in 2016: Freedom Eagle dot Facebook says that Hillary invented AIDS.
 
Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

From Facebook, a Yooper joke:

A YOOPER LENTEN JOKE
Yoopers love to joke about themselves. They love Eino and Toivo jokes. This one was told to da Yooper Pastor by a Yooper Catholic. All in good fun, eh!

Every Friday night after work, Toivo came over to Eino's for supper. They would fire up his outdoor grill outside of Hancock and cook some venison steaks. But many of Eino's neighbors were Catholic. And since it was Lent, they were forbidden to eat meat on Friday.

The delicious aroma of the steaks wafted over Hancock all the way to Houghton. It caused such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.

The Priest visited Toivo and Eino, and suggested that they become Catholic. After several classes and much study, the two attended Mass. As the priest sprinkled holy water over them, he said, "You were born Lutheran, and raised Lutheran, but now you are Catholic."

Toivo and Eino's neighbors were relieved, until Friday night arrived. Once again the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled all of Hancock.

The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors. As he rushed into Eino's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold his two new converts, he stopped in his tracks and watched in amazement.

There stood Toivo with a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the platter of grilled meat held by Eino. Toivo chanted: "You vuz born a deer, an' you vuz raised a deer, but now you is a walleye, eh!"
 
Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Big thumbs up if the inside of your car is empirical proof you're not a litter bug!
 
Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Me: Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I keep singing Barenaked Ladies.
Priest: How long since your last confession?
Me: It's been...
 
Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

That White House intern brings another dress to the dry cleaner.
The dry cleaner looks at it and says, "No problem. We can handle that. It'll be ready Thursday. Come again."

"No. It's toothpaste."
 
Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Two stages of my life:

1. I should eat.

2. I shouldn't have eaten that much.
 
Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

A guy tells his wife, "I bet you can't p*ss me off and make me happy at the same time".

Wife, "Your dick is bigger than your brothers".
 
Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

A guy tells his wife, "I bet you can't p*ss me off and make me happy at the same time".

Wife, "Your dick is bigger than your brothers".

"Father's" would have been a lot funnier.
 
Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Me: I have the sex appeal of a math book.
My friend: I don't know of anyone who opened a math book and didn't say "f-ck me."
 
Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Eventually, a steak dinner will be cheaper than a salad.

So many apps are the same cost as a friggin' meal. Well, that app better fill me, otherwise go to hell.

And to keep on topic, there are 2 kinds of people on this planet: those who can extract information from incomplete data.
 
Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Me: Why do I feel terrible?
Body: Coffee is not a meal.
Body: Get some sleep.
Body: Eat some vegetables.
Me: Guess we'll never know.
Body: Oh my god!
 
Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

So many apps are the same cost as a friggin' meal. Well, that app better fill me, otherwise go to hell.

And to keep on topic, there are 2 kinds of people on this planet: those who can extract information from incomplete data.

There are 2 kinds of people on this planet: Those who can retell a joke correctly.



:D
 
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