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A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony.
She pushes her knee and screams,pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken
 
Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

SonofSouthie said:
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony.
She pushes her knee and screams,pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken
Click to expand...

IMO this is close to the perfect joke. It's the very first joke I ever heard (that I can recall) and it really hasn't been exceeded yet for a variety of reasons.

If there's a joke hall of fame, this is one of my initial inductees.
 
Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

How many Trumps does it take to change a light bulb?



...



None. Donald will just Tweet that he made a tremendous deal to have it changed, while his supporters back him up as they sit in the dark, happy that they can't see any black or brown people.
 
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Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Kepler said:
IMO this is close to the perfect joke. It's the very first joke I ever heard (that I can recall) and it really hasn't been exceeded yet for a variety of reasons.

If there's a joke hall of fame, this is one of my initial inductees.
Click to expand...

The joke HOF starts and ends with The Aristocrats. :D
 
Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Kepler said:
The Aristocrats isn't a joke, it's a bit.
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Semantics at best, but it's still a joke, and hilarious. Shows certain chops in the comedy biz. I can't replicate that improv creativity. Takes a special mindset to tell that joke.
 
Heard the founder of Costco died. His family was upset they could only buy caskets in packs of three, but the price was good.
 
Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

ShirtlessBob said:
Heard the founder of Costco died. His family was upset they could only buy caskets in packs of three, but the price was good.
Click to expand...

If Jesus Christ had purchased life insurance, would he have to refund the insurance claim?
 
I was reading an instruction manual, and I got to the part about needing a screwdriver.. so I got out the orange juice and vodka. Anything after that is a mystery!
 
Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

ShirtlessBob said:
Ran into a vegan guy who does CrossFit. He told me about CrossFit first.
Click to expand...

I went shopping for some new furniture, and decided I did not want leather. I have leather now, it's just comfortable to me in a chair. When shopping, I said that I didn't want leather, and the sales woman kept going on and on about not harming animals in the making of their furniture. I told her it wasn't an ethics thing, just a comfort thing. Arrrrrgh!
 
Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Heard an oldie and goodie (HoF) worthy:

She offered her honor; he honored her offer; and all night long it was honor and offer.
 
Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

The Sicatoka said:
Heard an oldie and goodie (HoF) worthy:

She offered her honor; he honored her offer; and all night long it was honor and offer.
Click to expand...

I've always heard it as:

Here's to honor. To getting honor. To staying honor. And if you can't come in her, come honor.
 
Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

This is why girls don't hang out here, guys...
 
Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Kepler said:
This is why girls don't hang out here, guys...
Click to expand...

Because they can't handle the truth of how men joke with each other when they're not present?
 
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