What's new
By:
USCHO Fan Forum

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

  • The USCHO Fan Forum has migrated to a new plaform, xenForo. Most of the function of the forum should work in familiar ways. Please note that you can switch between light and dark modes by clicking on the gear icon in the upper right of the main menu bar. We are hoping that this new platform will prove to be faster and more reliable. Please feel free to explore its features.

TIGER WOODS hurt in car accident.

Re: TIGER WOODS hurt in car accident.

Breaking News out of Australia!

Steve Williams has come forward to say that all of these women coming forward are actually just an elaborate cover story, orchestrated by none other than Eldrick himself. Williams has also stated that Tiger is doing everything possible to keep the real story out of the news...that he and Tiger have been having a homosexual, caddie-golfer, affair for more than 5 years. He also mentioned that Phil Mickelson has asked to watch, on numerous occasions.
 
Re: TIGER WOODS hurt in car accident.

ExileOnDaytonStreet said:
with Roboshark.
Click to expand...

In the conservatory.

ClueBoard.jpg
 
Re: TIGER WOODS hurt in car accident.

Tiger Woods works for the government. He's the one who really attacked the Twin Towers on 9-11. When you slow down the CNN footage of the second "plane" striking the tower, you can clearly see a Nike logo, since it is actually a golf ball that was driven by Tiger.

Truth!
 
Re: TIGER WOODS hurt in car accident.

Osama is hanging out in Tiger's guest room ... :eek: :D
 
Re: TIGER WOODS hurt in car accident.

Anybody check on where Tiger was (in utero?) the day Jimmy Hoffa disappeared?
 
Re: TIGER WOODS hurt in car accident.

Handyman said:
Well to be fair...I would probably chill there too! The way he cycles through babes there is a lot of tail running around :D
Click to expand...

Well, did you hear about Elin and Osama's "love child"? :eek:
 
Re: TIGER WOODS hurt in car accident.

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said ' Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these b/i/t/c/h/e/s would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
 
Re: TIGER WOODS hurt in car accident.

A Shot and a Goal said:
It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said ' Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these b/i/t/c/h/e/s would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
Click to expand...

Rather long-but worth it:D
 
Re: TIGER WOODS hurt in car accident.

A Shot and a Goal said:
Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these b/i/t/c/h/e/s would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
Click to expand...

Awesome ... I love "Little Johnny" stories. :D
 
Re: TIGER WOODS hurt in car accident.

Tiger Woods Holiday Poem



Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house

Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.

She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,

Cause a bimbo's phone number was in his Blackberry.

He'd been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.

Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.

He'd been cheatin' with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,

With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.

From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,

Tiger's sad sordid tale was all over the news.

With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,

When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.

Despite all his cryin' and beggin' and pleadin',

Tiger's wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden.

And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,

"If you're gettin' laid then I'm gettin' paid."

She's not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,

Her prenup made Christmas come early this year!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top