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The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

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Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

New York City in one picture:

<img src="https://cdn.theatlantic.com/thumbor/XGk6KH9q_7fmL3RbCvAFTCj8ZF0=/1500x1046/media/img/photo/2020/03/photos-week/w19_1205272987/original.jpg" height=666>
 
Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

For the life of Mookie, he don’t get tats...
 
Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Hooooly ****. Kottkamp, Republican Lt. Gov. of Florida, is complaining that his vacation to Vail was disrupted by a global pandemic. Polis, the Democratic Gov. of Colorado, is having exactly zero of his ****. <a href="https://t.co/PTZZutRgW1">pic.twitter.com/PTZZutRgW1</a></p>— Brian Tyler Cohen (@briantylercohen) <a href="https://twitter.com/briantylercohen/status/1239042889667104769?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 15, 2020</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>
 
Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

Washington and Oregon: “Just assume everyone is from California.”

Pretty fair assumption, at least as of 2002.

California: “Just assume everyone is from Mexico and Guatemala.”
 
Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already


Pretty much. We say our pleasantries, get our business done, and move on. This semi-shutdown rule that is in place...all that means is less talk and we can't sit down in a restaurant.
Hi, here to pick up.
Here you go.
Thanks, and have a good day.
You, too.

That's it. That is quite possibly the perfect midwestern business transaction. :D
 
Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

Pretty much. We say our pleasantries, get our business done, and move on. This semi-shutdown rule that is in place...all that means is less talk and we can't sit down in a restaurant.
Hi, here to pick up.
Here you go.
Thanks, and have a good day.
You, too.

That's it. That is quite possibly the perfect midwestern business transaction. :D

My experience of Midwestern business transactions is very different. It includes a ten minute conversation about braces, little league, and kidney stones, and relies on everybody in the store having somehow gone to the same high school. While everybody else waits patiently to ring up their Slim Jims.

Projecting from this I figure that every 40-year old in every flyover county slept with every 40-year old of their target sex 23 years ago, and everybody knows it. That must make for some really strange church picnics.
 
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Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

Projecting from this I figure that every 40-year old in every flyover county slept with every 40-year old of their target sex 23 years ago, and everybody knows it. That must make for some really strange church picnics.

I assume it makes guessing who your second and third spouses will be easier.
 
Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

Anybody else notice that the County Sheriff in Florida who arrested the pastor for holding the church service in defiance of the social distancing orders is the same sheriff looking for tips on the Tiger King woman who may have fed her first husband to her tigers? Hillsborough County (which includes Tampa) sounds like it's got some things going on. We get Tom and Giselle down there and the party will be on.
 
Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

Anybody else notice that the County Sheriff in Florida who arrested the pastor for holding the church service in defiance of the social distancing orders is the same sheriff looking for tips on the Tiger King woman who may have fed her first husband to her tigers? Hillsborough County (which includes Tampa) sounds like it's got some things going on. We get Tom and Giselle down there and the party will be on.

LOL. This is great. :p
 
Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

Anybody else notice that the County Sheriff in Florida who arrested the pastor for holding the church service in defiance of the social distancing orders is the same sheriff looking for tips on the THAT ***** CAROL BASKIN!!! who may have fed her first husband to her tigers? Hillsborough County (which includes Tampa) sounds like it's got some things going on. We get Tom and Giselle down there and the party will be on.

Fixed that for you...in the name of accuracy :D
 
Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">The Speaker of the Georgia state House doesn't like mailing voters absentee ballots during the virus outbreak. Why? Because he says it will hurt conservative Republicans by driving up turnout. <a href="https://t.co/wsWxkLOvrB">https://t.co/wsWxkLOvrB</a> <a href="https://t.co/u1kU5axCRb">pic.twitter.com/u1kU5axCRb</a></p>— Jamie Dupree (@jamiedupree) <a href="https://twitter.com/jamiedupree/status/1245540001280151552?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 2, 2020</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>
 
Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

God imagine voting for a party that has to SAY that. Christ
 
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