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Rep Retirement Lodge #167: Weather

Rep Retirement Lodge #167: Weather

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Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #167: Weather

MavHockey14 said:
I agree. It's just painful. It also confuses me and gives me (false) hope as she's told me numerous times she still loves me and still sees herself being with me forever.

I'm strong throughout most of the day. Then I seem to get weak at night. Weaker than I ever could've imagined. I hate myself for it too, because I've always been a strong person.

I also don't like posting this stuff here because I know it's annoying, but it helps. It gives me an outlet and support from people who have various experiences I'm relationships. I hope you all forgive me and I thank you all for the support!
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1.) Stop thinking. This is emotional and no amount of logic is going to help ease the pain or make everything make sense.

2.) Stop listening. She may just be saying what she thinks you want to hear or what she needs to say to make this easier for her.

3.) Stop rushing. Getting back to "ok" takes time. After a while you'll start to feel better for a day or two, then something will take you back and the emotional pain will be back. Each cycle the "ok" time will get longer. You're grieving for a death of a relationship, and nothing short of the actual death of an immediate family member will tare you apart emotionally more than the undesired end to a serious intimate relationship.
 
Almington said:
1.) Stop thinking. This is emotional and no amount of logic is going to help ease the pain or make everything make sense.

2.) Stop listening. She may just be saying what she thinks you want to hear or what she needs to say to make this easier for her.

3.) Stop rushing. Getting back to "ok" takes time. After a while you'll start to feel better for a day or two, then something will take you back and the emotional pain will be back. Each cycle the "ok" time will get longer. You're grieving for a death of a relationship, and nothing short of the actual death of an immediate family member will tare you apart emotionally more than the undesired end to a serious intimate relationship.
Click to expand...
The hardest part is to let go of what she's saying, because it gives me comfort and hope. Her telling me she believes I'm the one is a mutual feeling I've had for her, and so it makes it nearly impossible for me to think she doesn't mean it, or not to trust what she says.

I know if this is meant to be, it's going to work out. I just wish it were easy to keep that mindset.
 
Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #167: Weather

Morning y'all. Silly boat developed a crack in a part that goes from one of our engines to the shaft that spins the propeller, and was leaking oil. Sitting around for a boat to bring our barges about 20 miles back to the west so we can go get repairs done.
 
Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #167: Weather

state of hockey said:
Post away.

The rebound girl is awkward and weird feeling, but it speeds things up. Terrible to say, but it's true.
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Was close to engaged once. Same type of relationship and this is true. (Well, in my case it was a guy, not girl). When some time passes you will start to realize the things you had to adjust to in the old relationship and it is kind of freeing to realize the person you are now around isn't owed that adjustment. You get to really say and do what you want and if it doesn't work to hell with it.

Almington said:
1.) Stop thinking. This is emotional and no amount of logic is going to help ease the pain or make everything make sense.

2.) Stop listening. She may just be saying what she thinks you want to hear or what she needs to say to make this easier for her.

3.) Stop rushing. Getting back to "ok" takes time. After a while you'll start to feel better for a day or two, then something will take you back and the emotional pain will be back. Each cycle the "ok" time will get longer. You're grieving for a death of a relationship, and nothing short of the actual death of an immediate family member will tare you apart emotionally more than the undesired end to a serious intimate relationship.
Click to expand...
Well that saved me a lot of typing.

MavHockey14 said:
The hardest part is to let go of what she's saying, because it gives me comfort and hope. Her telling me she believes I'm the one is a mutual feeling I've had for her, and so it makes it nearly impossible for me to think she doesn't mean it, or not to trust what she says.I know if this is meant to be, it's going to work out. I just wish it were easy to keep that mindset.
Click to expand...

When she is having a low time she will want you but when she is out with her friends she won't feel constrained to owe you fidelity. Not saying this to malign her. It is human nature to want to continue the parts of the relationship that work for you. If you are used to a very tight relationship, being out there without that in the background feels like flying without a net.

Just because she isn't ready to commit yet doesn't mean she doesn't like/feel comforted with the benefits of having a relationship with you. You treat her nicely, you care and want to please her. That isn't an easy thing to give up even if the girl isn't in it for the long haul. Basically you want a beer and she is willing to give you an O'Doul's. She hopes the O'Doul's is enough to hold you while she goes out and has a real beer with someone else.

It has been years since I was in a situation like this but I remember having difficulty even changing the radio station. It was weird not considering what he wanted to listen to. I would wait for the 'why did you switch that?' It took a lot of work to remember what I liked without thinking of it in terms of what we would decide together. Skip the going out with other girls at this point. Go do stuff by yourself or your buddies. Get used to doing stuff without it being in the context of what the relationship would have required. Revel in the fact that you do not need to consider anyone but yourself when you are late or change your mind about what you want to do.
 
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Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #167: Weather

Good Morning Lodge.

Isn't there still a singles thread? ;)

Nice cool morning to drink my tea on the screened porch, watching an egret fishing in the cattails while the redwing blackbirds go nuts cause he's too close to their nests.

Had to go in early yesterday to drive to Rochester for a Mayo meeting. In a couple years when you hear about an athlete going to Mayo for treatment know that I was involved in designing Mayo's new Sports Medicine Clinic. They have a SMC now, but it's more a community clinic. They now want to make it world class on a par with other Mayo programs and we are designing the space it will occupy.
 
Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #167: Weather

Good morning Lodge.

Hi. This is Zachary (little g). I hope you have a good weekend.
 
Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #167: Weather

Morning, Lodge-O.

Ralph Baer said:
I haven't recorded a goal in two years,
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This being the Lodge and all, RFalph, I couldn't let this go passed unnoticed. Ralph, you gotta get out more! Forget that previous relationship! They're only saying what you want to hear! Go out with your buddies! Revel in the fact that you do not need to consider anyone but yourself!

:p
 
Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #167: Weather

PS: This being the internet and all, with no inflections noticable, and no way to see good-natured kidding in the face of your friend, let me add that the previous post was made with 100% good-natured ribbing, and no malice intended or implied, to both our good friend MavHockey's predicament, nor les's amazing and wisdom-filled insights. :)

So yes, :p, but also :).
 
Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #167: Weather

DaveStPaul said:
PS: This being the internet and all, with no inflections noticable, and no way to see good-natured kidding in the face of your friend, let me add that the previous post was made with 100% good-natured ribbing, and no malice intended or implied, to both our good friend MavHockey's predicament, nor les's amazing and wisdom-filled insights. :)

So yes, :p, but also :).
Click to expand...
This being the Lodge, good-natured kidding should be inferred by default.
 
Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #167: Weather

DaveStPaul said:
Morning, Lodge-O.



This being the Lodge and all, RFalph, I couldn't let this go passed unnoticed. Ralph, you gotta get out more! Forget that previous relationship! They're only saying what you want to hear! Go out with your buddies! Revel in the fact that you do not need to consider anyone but yourself!

:p
Click to expand...

DaveStPaul said:
PS: This being the internet and all, with no inflections noticable, and no way to see good-natured kidding in the face of your friend, let me add that the previous post was made with 100% good-natured ribbing, and no malice intended or implied, to both our good friend MavHockey's predicament, nor les's amazing and wisdom-filled insights. :)

So yes, :p, but also :).
Click to expand...

DaveStPaul said:
PPS: Still. Ralph. Two years? Too long, baby. Get back in the game, man!
Click to expand...

You'll be hearing from Ralph and his attorneys forthwith concerning your tawdry, salacious comments about his not having scored a goal in two years. I hope they sue your sorry butt into the middle of next year.:mad:

:D
 
leswp1 said:
Was close to engaged once. Same type of relationship and this is true. (Well, in my case it was a guy, not girl). When some time passes you will start to realize the things you had to adjust to in the old relationship and it is kind of freeing to realize the person you are now around isn't owed that adjustment. You get to really say and do what you want and if it doesn't work to hell with it.

Well that saved me a lot of typing.



When she is having a low time she will want you but when she is out with her friends she won't feel constrained to owe you fidelity. Not saying this to malign her. It is human nature to want to continue the parts of the relationship that work for you. If you are used to a very tight relationship, being out there without that in the background feels like flying without a net.

Just because she isn't ready to commit yet doesn't mean she doesn't like/feel comforted with the benefits of having a relationship with you. You treat her nicely, you care and want to please her. That isn't an easy thing to give up even if the girl isn't in it for the long haul. Basically you want a beer and she is willing to give you an O'Doul's. She hopes the O'Doul's is enough to hold you while she goes out and has a real beer with someone else.

It has been years since I was in a situation like this but I remember having difficulty even changing the radio station. It was weird not considering what he wanted to listen to. I would wait for the 'why did you switch that?' It took a lot of work to remember what I liked without thinking of it in terms of what we would decide together. Skip the going out with other girls at this point. Go do stuff by yourself or your buddies. Get used to doing stuff without it being in the context of what the relationship would have required. Revel in the fact that you do not need to consider anyone but yourself when you are late or change your mind about what you want to do.
Click to expand...

My best friend comes home for the summer today. I'm very excited for that.

Is it a stupid idea to let her go for now and let her experience whatever happens in her life, and give myself the freedom to do so as well, and then talk with her and reassess after a certain period of time?

This scares me though, because I feel like my heart isn't in experiencing other things.

I guess I want this to work. Whether it's a month from now or a year from now. If it doesn't work, I know that there's someone better for me. I just don't see that as a real possibility currently.
 
Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #167: Weather

I cannot remember where I heard this joke but it was a while back: I like Friends much better when it called Seinfeld.

Seriously though Friends is a bad show. Never liked it. Always thought it was a chick's show.
 
Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #167: Weather

Bought a used car from a dealship in January. Discovered recently there are major problems with the AC system that sure seem like they were there from the beginning when we bought the car. Shouldn't the dealer bear at least some financial responsibility for the repairs? They wouldn't even discuss it and refused to even acknowledge even the possibility the AC was busted before we bought the car. Arrg!!!! :mad:

You know, I don't feel any better after that rant. Now what? *sigh* :(
 
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