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Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

So there was a big snowstorm in New York City on Tuesday morning. The Sanitation Department was "expecting" the storm to start at 11 AM but it "surprised" them and started at 8 AM instead. A big section of the city wasn't plowed at all, and quickly became impassable as soon as a few buses skidded sideways and sidewalks had 6" or more of snow on them. At first, the new mayor was saying that the Sanitation Dept had done a good enough job, but then when he went to the area and visited it in person, he had the good sense to believe his own eyes rather than political spin, and he apologized.

The newspaper headline read "Mayor Culpa."

No joke.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Just before the execution, the criminal was informed he'd been pardoned. The hangman turned to him and said "no noose is good noose."
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

When the competition start time was changed, causing all the Olympians to be late, everyone was Russian.

:D
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

The Attorney General's brother Bruce was named as a judge of the Miss America pageant.

When asked if this appointment was politically motivated, the tournament director replied,

"Not at all, we all know that beauty is in the eye of B Holder."
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Here are some in honor of the Winter Olympics:

One thing I learned in seminary school: It's boorish to yell sin.

*wipes finger across surface* You've got to dust off desk *holds up blackened finger tip* see.

What do I want for lunch? I'll have an, ahhh....curry in...in a bowl.

I'm enjoying my kale, bulgur, kofta salad.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

jericho said:
When the competition start time was changed, causing all the Olympians to be late, everyone was Russian.

:D
Click to expand...

I was Russian too. But the weather there was very Chile, I hit a patch of Greece, and ran into a Turkey. Now I have a Spain in my back. Next time I will Czech the weather first.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

What does a hungry clock do? It goes back four seconds.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Think I heard my cats singing:

Cat one: I'm just a purr boy, nobody rubs me.

Cat two: HE'S JUST A PURR BOY, FROM A PURR FAMILY... SPARE HIM HIS LIFE FROM THIS MEOWNSTROSITY!
 
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