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Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

A couple from Boston was considering whether to re-locate to Florida. They contacted a local realtor and flew down to look at houses.

The realtor was especially enthusiastic about one particular house. "You're going to love this one," she gushed. "It has no flaws."

The couple looked at each other, horrified: "No flaws?!? Where do you stand?"
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

:D If thehs no flaw in the garage, wheh do they pahk the cah?

Can these get any longer? Yes, yes they can:
When my grandpa was just a boy in Sweden - as he remembers - he attended one of those livestock shows where the smell of the sweeeet perfume permeated the whole infield. When he thinks about it it brings back a touch of neuralgia.
Uh nostalgia that is - anyway, to the point ... He remembered one particular judging where the prize went to the best cow and there were certain criteria the cow had to meet - among them must be completely grass-fed, been with the farmer its whole life, and approaches the stand wearing a cowbell. Well this one particular cow was a marvelous specimen and met all the requirements, except it did not have a cowbell. Well the judge looked at the farmer and said, "you've got a great cow, yeah-sure, but since there's a cowbell missing, your cow is disqualified." The farmer replied, "now you look here you stupid yerk of a yudge, if you don't allow my cow to win the prize I'm going over to the wood-pile over there, get a four-by-twice and hit you over the head vid it!" Well, son, my grandpa said to me, there was the first no-bell prize.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Did you know Brittney Spears and Paris Hilton like to eat hamburgers in Australia? They have Five Guys down under every night.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

What a setup!

I was having a technical dialog with an advisor and he referenced text from an article in his reply, and, you guessed it, I couldn't find the missing link! :rolleyes:
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

FlagDUDE08 said:
So I decided to adopt a dachshund. I picked that breed because I wanted to get a long little doggy. :p
Click to expand...

Saw a fellow here who rescued a dachshund who had no legs. Says he named him Cigarette because every day he takes him out for a drag.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Brenthoven said:
While she doesn't have a hand in it yet, rumors are she's ready to foot the bill for the lesser class people.
Click to expand...

I understand that Zsa Zsa was just refused a 30 year mortgage on her home-the bank was afraid they might not be around that long.
 
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