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Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
- Thread starter FreshFish
- Start date
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FlagDUDE08
Banned
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
ESPN decided to start a stock market show: Jim Rome is Earning.
ESPN decided to start a stock market show: Jim Rome is Earning.
Beer Pong Horn
soldier of fortune
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Dammit, I was just going to post that.
Anywho -
A guy is driving along a country lane in his brand-new truck and comes up to a big puddle. There's a farmer with some waterfowl nearby, so he backs up and asks him, "Hey, can I drive through that puddle?" The farmer looks over, scratches his head, and says, "Sure, no problem." So, the guy guns it and goes for the puddle.
He comes up to the surface sputtering with rage, his truck completely submerged. "I thought you said I could drive through this thing!" he screamed. The farmer looked at him puzzled, and said, "I don't get it. It only comes up to here on my ducks."
Dammit, I was just going to post that.
Anywho -
A guy is driving along a country lane in his brand-new truck and comes up to a big puddle. There's a farmer with some waterfowl nearby, so he backs up and asks him, "Hey, can I drive through that puddle?" The farmer looks over, scratches his head, and says, "Sure, no problem." So, the guy guns it and goes for the puddle.
He comes up to the surface sputtering with rage, his truck completely submerged. "I thought you said I could drive through this thing!" he screamed. The farmer looked at him puzzled, and said, "I don't get it. It only comes up to here on my ducks."
MinnesotaNorthStar
Minding the gap
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Q: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
A: Dam.
Q: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
A: Dam.
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Thoreau included a number of subtle puns in Walden.
The one I remember most clearly was about a man who spent the morning fishing, yet had nary a nibble to show for it. Rather than be frustrated, he was philosophical, and mused about joining an ascetic monastic order known as the Cenobites.
Thoreau included a number of subtle puns in Walden.
The one I remember most clearly was about a man who spent the morning fishing, yet had nary a nibble to show for it. Rather than be frustrated, he was philosophical, and mused about joining an ascetic monastic order known as the Cenobites.
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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
What did the man say when he found a hole in his sock?
Darn it!
What did the man say when he found a hole in his sock?
Darn it!
FlagDUDE08
Banned
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
I found an early American folk tale. It was written at 5:30 in the morning.
I found an early American folk tale. It was written at 5:30 in the morning.
Proud2baLaker
Master of Science
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
I feel like no talk about terrible puns is complete without some Pearls Before Swine:
I feel like no talk about terrible puns is complete without some Pearls Before Swine:
NEWI Badger Fan
Registered User
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Q: What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
A: Beer nuts are a buck fifty and deer nuts are under a buck.
Q: What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
A: Beer nuts are a buck fifty and deer nuts are under a buck.
IrishWildcat
Holding onto what I haven't got
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Q: What do you call a sea gull with cream cheese on it?
A: A bay gull
Q: What do you call a sea gull with cream cheese on it?
A: A bay gull
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
and bad puns are not terrible puns, while great puns are considered by many to be terrible puns....really!
People with paranomasia paranoia get the "terror" in "terrible"
and bad puns are not terrible puns, while great puns are considered by many to be terrible puns....really!
People with paranomasia paranoia get the "terror" in "terrible"
Jimjamesak
Already insane, UAA making it worse
What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?
You'd think it'd be RRRRRRRRRR but it's really the C!
Beer Pong Horn
soldier of fortune
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Why can't a pirate properly pronounce the word "iniquity"?
He only has one "i".
Why can't a pirate properly pronounce the word "iniquity"?
He only has one "i".
NEWI Badger Fan
Registered User
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Q: What is the pessimist's blood type?
A: Always B-Negative
Q: What is the pessimist's blood type?
A: Always B-Negative
UncleRay
M-A-I-N-E, GooOOO, Blue!
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
A duck goes into a general store. He waddles up to the counter and asks the guy, "Hey, do you have any duck food?" The guy says, "No, we don't have any duck food here." So the duck says, "Oh, OK" and leaves.
The next day the duck goes into the general store. He waddles up to the counter and asks the guy, "Hey, do you have any duck food?" The guy says, "No, I told you yesterday, we don't have any duck food here." So the duck says, "Oh, OK" and leaves.
The next day the duck goes into the general store. He waddles up to the counter and asks the guy, "Hey, do you have any duck food?" The guy says, "No, I told you for the past two days, we don't have any duck food here. If you come in here again asking for duck food, I'm going to nail your little webbed feet to the floor." So the duck says, "Oh, OK" and leaves.
Well, the next day the duck goes into the general store. He waddles up to the counter and asks the guy, "Hey, do you have any nails?" The guy says, "No." "Oh. Got any duck food?"
A duck goes into a general store. He waddles up to the counter and asks the guy, "Hey, do you have any duck food?" The guy says, "No, we don't have any duck food here." So the duck says, "Oh, OK" and leaves.
The next day the duck goes into the general store. He waddles up to the counter and asks the guy, "Hey, do you have any duck food?" The guy says, "No, I told you yesterday, we don't have any duck food here." So the duck says, "Oh, OK" and leaves.
The next day the duck goes into the general store. He waddles up to the counter and asks the guy, "Hey, do you have any duck food?" The guy says, "No, I told you for the past two days, we don't have any duck food here. If you come in here again asking for duck food, I'm going to nail your little webbed feet to the floor." So the duck says, "Oh, OK" and leaves.
Well, the next day the duck goes into the general store. He waddles up to the counter and asks the guy, "Hey, do you have any nails?" The guy says, "No." "Oh. Got any duck food?"
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
A piece of string walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve string in here...get out."
So the string goes outside, tousles both of its ends, makes a loop and pulls one end through.
Then the string goes back into the bar. The bartender says, "Hey, aren't you the string I just tossed out?"
The string replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
A piece of string walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve string in here...get out."
So the string goes outside, tousles both of its ends, makes a loop and pulls one end through.
Then the string goes back into the bar. The bartender says, "Hey, aren't you the string I just tossed out?"
The string replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
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