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NHL 2019-20 #1: Where Toronto Plans To Win Without Playing Defense.

Kepler said:
Seattle is "weird" the way Spencer's Gifts is weird. Just because something is a brand doesn't mean it's real.

Also, everybody is going to LOVE Kraken because it's loud, adolescent, and dumb. It's the sobriquet equivalent of Chelsea Dagger.
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If there is one place that shouldn’t be calling others “brand” or “fake” it’d be Portland. But I look forward to the five paragraphs trying to tell me why I’m wrong.
 
Jimjamesak said:
If there is one place that shouldn’t be calling others “brand” or “fake” it’d be Portland. But I look forward to the five paragraphs trying to tell me why I’m wrong.
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Jimjamesak said:
If there is one place that shouldn’t be calling others “brand” or “fake” it’d be Portland. But I look forward to the five paragraphs trying to tell me why I’m wrong.
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Seattle is the responsible oldest brother who grew up too soon and won't shut up about how great his corner office at Microsoft is. He married a basic white girl yoga instructor who left the Midwest ten years ago to "find herself", and settled in Seattle because Boise was too boring, San Francisco was too gay and unaffordable, and Portland lacked ambition (i.e. not enough gold to mine).

Portland is the cool, stoner kid brother who lives a few miles away in an apartment with two buddies. Dad wishes he'd move on from frying donuts at Blue Star and playing gigs with his mediocre bar band and get a real job, but mom loves him because he's the baby.
 
Kepler said:
Seattle is "weird" the way Spencer's Gifts is weird. Just because something is a brand doesn't mean it's real.

Also, everybody is going to LOVE Kraken because it's loud, adolescent, and dumb. It's the sobriquet equivalent of Chelsea Dagger.
Click to expand...

Haha.
 
FadeToBlack&Gold said:
Seattle is the responsible oldest brother who grew up too soon and won't shut up about how great his corner office at Microsoft is. He married a basic white girl yoga instructor who left the Midwest ten years ago to "find herself", and settled in Seattle because Boise was too boring, San Francisco was too gay and unaffordable, and Portland lacked ambition (i.e. not enough gold to mine).

Portland is the cool, stoner kid brother who lives a few miles away in an apartment with two buddies. Dad wishes he'd move on from frying donuts at Blue Star and playing gigs with his mediocre bar band and get a real job, but mom loves him because he's the baby.
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The Seattle description is on the nose, though it’s likely to be an Amazon dudebro these days. Also you didn’t mention the not-so-secret drug problem.

The Portland description is way off though. The stoner younger brother more than likely works at a corporation just as evil as Microsoft or Amazon, like Nike or Adidas or Columbia, while pretending he’s better because he doesn’t work at Microsoft like his older brother (just ignore the fact that the shoes he designs are made by children in sweatshops). The rock band is likely some weird music style like a pirate rock band or esoteric indie style, basically anything to distract from the sweatshops or environmental damage from the timber and metal industries his bandmates work in. Not to mention all of their super racist social media past. Seriously, just focus on the craft brews and the Voodoo doughnuts, not the racist past and the companies running sweatshops.
 
Jimjamesak said:
The Seattle description is on the nose, though it’s likely to be an Amazon dudebro these days. Also you didn’t mention the not-so-secret drug problem.

The Portland description is (meaningless and humorless drivel)
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The other most Seattle thing ever is how Portland is in your head.

Nobody in Portland ever thinks about Seattle. Even when they hate a city, it's always San Francisco.

But if you want a comparison, Seattle is Bojack and Portland is Todd.
 
Kepler said:
The other most Seattle thing ever is how Portland is in your head.

Nobody in Portland ever thinks about Seattle. Even when they hate a city, it's always San Francisco.

But if you want a comparison, Seattle is Bojack and Portland is Todd.
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Aww that description a little too close to home?

I think we just found out Kepler is in a pirate rock band.
 
SJHovey said:
Say what you want, it’s nice watching live hockey that matters again.
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Agreed. It will be interesting to see how it plays out and whether it was a mistake to come back. The NBA seems to be doing well with their version of the bubble. Hopefully the NHL has the same success.
 
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