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Gender Studies I

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Re: Gender Studies I

Idaho is pushing through its own Slate of Hate, including a bill that would jail doctors for life if they treat trans kids.

While this upsets me(why we're going after trans kids, I have no idea), I also know this news means Idaho is off my list of states I want to visit. Sunshine is the best disinfectant and all that.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

MissThundercat said:
One thing I'm learning to do is figuring out when to speak up and when to fall back. I've asked in other groups "how do you speak up without losing your mind?"
Click to expand...

Will speaking your mind amount to anyone changing their mind, or is it a lost cause?
What is the long game? That will answer your question.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

I've outed myself to the people who need to know at work. However, I'm running into an issue with a coworker. I'm working the front desk today before I get my client at 4:15, and:

Tech walks in with her client.

Me: Hi, I'm Miss Amber.
Client: Were you born a boy?
Me: slow to respond
Tech: That's inappropriate.

Tech steers conversation away. I go to one of my bosses (Center Coordinator) and tell her that made me sad. She says not to worry. Those who know, know, and there's no issue.

A few hours later, I'm with my client in the playroom. Tech is in there with her client. Client approaches and we talk about music and tattoos. Fine. Then the Tech goes "Miss... MR. Amber" and I cringe. Tech follows up by referring to me as "him," in which case I respond "HER."

As much as I want to say something harsh, I will try to have a conversation with her tomorrow in private.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

MissThundercat said:
I've outed myself to the people who need to know at work. However, I'm running into an issue with a coworker. I'm working the front desk today before I get my client at 4:15, and:

Tech walks in with her client.

Me: Hi, I'm Miss Amber.
Client: Were you born a boy?
Me: slow to respond
Tech: That's inappropriate.

Tech steers conversation away. I go to one of my bosses (Center Coordinator) and tell her that made me sad. She says not to worry. Those who know, know, and there's no issue.

A few hours later, I'm with my client in the playroom. Tech is in there with her client. Client approaches and we talk about music and tattoos. Fine. Then the Tech goes "Miss... MR. Amber" and I cringe. Tech follows up by referring to me as "him," in which case I respond "HER."

As much as I want to say something harsh, I will try to have a conversation with her tomorrow in private.
Click to expand...

Keep it private with that person. No need to take it outside of that, unless the issue is not corrected.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

Today was a better day; she got it and she understood.

Also, I've had to explain to a few kids that "some women have a low voice and some women have a high voice. I have a low voice." They're like "oh. okay." My coworkers have been really quick to help me, because I think they KNOW.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

dxmnkd316 said:
That’s awesome. Glad to hear.
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And if they know without me saying anything, the better. That being said, reinforcement is better for teaching new behavior than punishment. Good job, thank you, that was awesome, sprinkled in with a few double chocolate crunchy peanut butter mini-muffins... saying the correct pronouns can be learned.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

MissThundercat said:
Today was a better day; she got it and she understood.

Also, I've had to explain to a few kids that "some women have a low voice and some women have a high voice. I have a low voice." They're like "oh. okay." My coworkers have been really quick to help me, because I think they KNOW.
Click to expand...

That's great! :)

One of the things you'll have to try and remember is that most people have never worked with an out trans person before. Not everyone is automatically being malicious if they mis-gender you, and gentle reminders work best for new people making occasional mistakes.
 
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Re: Gender Studies I

I’ve never worked with a transgender person either. I know it’s a monumental ask, but grace and patience are needed. Most of us just don’t know things or we’re so afraid of screwing up or even asking what’s proper. Most of us don’t mean malice, we’re just dumb.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

dxmnkd316 said:
I’ve never worked with a transgender person either. I know it’s a monumental ask, but grace and patience are needed. Most of us just don’t know things or we’re so afraid of screwing up or even asking what’s proper. Most of us don’t mean malice, we’re just dumb.
Click to expand...

This. All of this.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

dxmnkd316 said:
I’ve never worked with a transgender person either. I know it’s a monumental ask, but grace and patience are needed. Most of us just don’t know things or we’re so afraid of screwing up or even asking what’s proper. Most of us don’t mean malice, we’re just dumb.
Click to expand...

I've worked with two trans people to date, so I had my slip-ups early on with the first one since he did the hormonal transition after he'd been working there for a couple of years.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

dxmnkd316 said:
I’ve never worked with a transgender person either. I know it’s a monumental ask, but grace and patience are needed. Most of us just don’t know things or we’re so afraid of screwing up or even asking what’s proper. Most of us don’t mean malice, we’re just dumb.
Click to expand...

The Rube said:
This. All of this.
Click to expand...

FadeToBlack&Gold said:
I've worked with two trans people to date, so I had my slip-ups early on with the first one since he did the hormonal transition after he'd been working there for a couple of years.
Click to expand...

One thing I'm going to do is get a pronoun pin and wear it to work. And I'm learning too.
 
I'm in a really supportive environment at my job. Told the Center Coordinator about my stepfather, and she gave me huge hug.

Also, dating is difficult when trans. Once they find out, they ghost you, or turn you into a fetish. Took myself off Grindr because no one wanted a relationship, they wanted to F me and leave.
 
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