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Gender Studies I

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Re: Gender Studies I

Kepler said:
No. We can't choose our essential being and we also can't choose our attractions.

As much as I sympathize, I can't see this as a valid criticism of cis men. The whole idea is to embrace who one is, with honesty. If we start putting normative evaluations on desires then we are right back where we started with people being shamed for who they are.

Even though the shoe is on the other foot, that's still wrong.
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Nobody treats you as a fetish.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

MissThundercat said:
Nobody treats you as a fetish.
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You don't know that. :p

But yes, I can completely see what you are saying. I was reading your comment as a complaint that cis men prefer cis women to trans women. If I now understand you are saying cis men will give a trans girl a tumble as a lark and then have an early squash game* the next morning. Come see the Bearded Lady! That behavior is inexcusable.

* Always allowing for the fact that cis men also treat cis women this way.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

Kepler said:
You don't know that. :p

But yes, I can completely see what you are saying. I was reading your comment as a complaint that cis men prefer cis women to trans women. If I now understand you are saying cis men will give a trans girl a tumble as a lark and then have an early squash game* the next morning. Come see the Bearded Lady! That behavior is inexcusable.

* Always allowing for the fact that cis men also treat cis women this way.
Click to expand...

So I have some questions for these creeps.

And for all I know, you and Fade would totally be down for a 4 AM IHOP adventure.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

I'm feeling energized from a meeting at work. Who knew that was possible? It was the 3rd meeting of our pride & allies group. We spent the meeting discussing our mission, goals, strategies and expected results for the group. While we don't have a clear strategy, it seems we are all aligned on what we hope the group can accomplish.

My favorite part of the meeting is that we do a check in and check out, rating our mood from 1 to 10 and feeling free to share why we feel how we do (be it work related, group related, or not). So far both meetings we've done this, everyone leaves in a better mood than they came in. It's nice to be part of a group that can make someone's day better.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

Kepler said:
You don't know that. :p

But yes, I can completely see what you are saying. I was reading your comment as a complaint that cis men prefer cis women to trans women. If I now understand you are saying cis men will give a trans girl a tumble as a lark and then have an early squash game* the next morning. Come see the Bearded Lady! That behavior is inexcusable.

* Always allowing for the fact that cis men also treat cis women this way.
Click to expand...

The stereotypical cis man (or woman) will look for that "dime" (per the relatively recent slang term). Many years ago, a buddy was dating a bi (she was open about it), and he said he was feeling pressure from fam and such. Not about her sexuality, but her looks, in the way of "is she right for you," "is this what you're looking for," etc. I asked him, "Is she beautiful to you?" He said yes. I replied: then that is all you need.

Good love, true love, will see past the physicality (and yes, that is still a factor, we are human) and see the true heart of someone. Their personality. Their wit, their humor, their intelligence, their kindness.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

The Rube said:
The stereotypical cis man (or woman) will look for that "dime" (per the relatively recent slang term). Many years ago, a buddy was dating a bi (she was open about it), and he said he was feeling pressure from fam and such. Not about her sexuality, but her looks, in the way of "is she right for you," "is this what you're looking for," etc. I asked him, "Is she beautiful to you?" He said yes. I replied: then that is all you need.

Good love, true love, will see past the physicality (and yes, that is still a factor, we are human) and see the true heart of someone. Their personality. Their wit, their humor, their intelligence, their kindness.
Click to expand...

I thought I would give a guy a chance. We started texting, and when I told him I had surgery on my right foot and couldn't wear flats or heels right now, he stopped responding to my texts. Figures.

But I'm sure you think I pull of Nikes with everything just fine.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

Had an idea for a blog post/short story this morning:

Cis woman wakes up in a world that's 95% trans. Every day, she's forced to deal with phobia, anti-cis bias, and laws that make it incredibly difficult for cis people to merely exist in society. She also watches her cis friends get murdered or die by suicide because someone hates them enough or they can't bear the pain of living in this society. I see three ways of this story ending:

1. She becomes homeless and can't stay at a homeless shelter because of their religious beliefs. She freezes to death on the street, and no one gives a rat's butt, other than her friends and a few trans allies.
2. She can't bear the pain of living, so she dies by suicide.
3. Brutally murdered when an anti-cis bigot shoots up the local Pride center.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

MissThundercat said:
Had an idea for a blog post/short story this morning:

Cis woman wakes up in a world that's 95% trans. Every day, she's forced to deal with phobia, anti-cis bias, and laws that make it incredibly difficult for cis people to merely exist in society. She also watches her cis friends get murdered or die by suicide because someone hates them enough or they can't bear the pain of living in this society. I see three ways of this story ending:

1. She becomes homeless and can't stay at a homeless shelter because of their religious beliefs. She freezes to death on the street, and no one gives a rat's butt, other than her friends and a few trans allies.
2. She can't bear the pain of living, so she dies by suicide.
3. Brutally murdered when an anti-cis bigot shoots up the local Pride center.
Click to expand...

Here are the first couple paragraphs:

"The Burden of Cis"- A Short Story by Amber Marie

Karen woke up at 6 AM one September morning like she always did, but something was different about this day. Yesterday, she announced on Facebook and Instagram that she was a cis woman, and that she agreed with the gender she was assigned at birth, and all her friends said good for her. Her cis friends congratulated her and welcomed her out of the closet, and she thought she was in for a safe and happy life. But when she went to bed last night, she had no idea of the life she would now live outside her home. You see, Karen was a cis woman in a society full of transgender people. Transgender people were lawmakers, police officers, and city officials; they made up an overwhelming majority of the United States, especially in a conservative state of Michigan and especially in the sleepy little town of Holland, MI. Karen’s life was about to get so much more difficult.

Karen walked down the stairs to her kitchen and turned on the news. She was shocked to see state lawmakers propose a bill that forbid cisgender people from using the bathroom of the gender they identified with. She sent a text to Sarah, also a cis woman, and asked “can you believe this ****” Sarah responded “this is life. Several of those representatives are up for re-election this year, and they are using us as a prop to get votes.” Karen sat there shocked, not believing a word of what Sarah said. She put down the phone and tried to finish breakfast. As she put the plate of eggs and hash browns in the sink, she wondered what it would be like for her at work today. She had some co-workers follow her on social media, and they didn’t say anything on her Facebook post yesterday. As she got dressed and tried to get ready for work, her phone beeped again: “You’re a disgrace to our family! You’re a freak and you’ll never be welcome in our family as long as you practice that abominable lifestyle!” It was her father; Chris gave birth to Karen before he had the ritual surgery all the trans men did. Karen tried not to cry and texted Sarah again. “My father disowned me.” All Sarah could do was say “it’s alright, honey. Come to group this Saturday and you’ll meet all of us. Our families want nothing to do with us, either.” Karen said she’d call Sarah after work, and they wished each other a good day.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

I like it. I want to say that his could be a fun look at gender. But fun doesn’t seem right.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

dxmnkd316 said:
I like it. I want to say that his could be a fun look at gender. But fun doesn’t seem right.
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I have Karen at work now, and her coworkers are now treating her poorly.

And I'm not aiming for fun; I'm trying to make this... I don't know... realistic?
 
Re: Gender Studies I

Fun wasn’t the right word. Maybe fresh? I don’t know. My brain is melting after a long week.

I knew fun wasn’t the word I was going after but it was the only one I could think of in a snap.
 
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