Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom...
[inhales deeply]
HOLY ******* **** WHAT AN ABSOLUTE TRAINWRECK OF A PIECE OF ****! I CANT BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY PAID TO WATCH THAT DUMPSTER FIRE! THIS IS ACTUALLY A BIGGER INSULT TO THE FRANCHISE THAN THE LAST GHOSTBUSTERS ABORTION WAS! EVERYONE INVOLVED SHOULD HANG THEIR HEADS IN SHAME...OR AT LEAST DANCE AROUND IN A BIG PILE OF MONEY LAUGHING AT ALL THE PEOPLE WHO WASTED THEIR TIME AND MONEY WATCHING THIS FILM. [/exhales]
Ok so on a much calmer note this movie is all sorts of awful. Imagine if you took The Last World: Jurassic Park II and completely ripped off the basic plot only you then genetically engineered it with all the crappiness of Jurassic Park 3 and Jurassic World with just a pinch of the Tommy Lee Jones disaster Volcano and you maybe can begin to understand how awful this film is. The plot is so bad "Paint By Numbers" doesnt even cover it. They literally just steal parts of the other films and put them in there. Then they add in the stupid cloning side story which is worthless, then the dumb "Blue" storyline returns, then more made up dinosaurs (there are hundreds of species of dinosaurs why make up new ones?) and of course the hamfisted acting of Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard. Then, in an effort to try and be different I guess they rip off the ending to Rise of the Planet of the Apes almost completely. This film is a testament to the true laziness of Hollywood...
Ian Malcolm asks "How many times" at the end talking about the mistakes man has made when it comes to the dinosaurs...he might as well have been asking the same about these crappy movies. And before anyone asks...MoviePass