One thing I will say about this last part is something our lawyer told us. We have the overall estate settlement going to the various beneficiaries (note, we have no kids) set in the will. Therefore, all of our accounts are set as follows:
First beneficiary -- each other.
Second beneficiary -- "our estate" (there's special wording you have to use, which I don't remember right now).
This prevents any contradiction between the will and any individual account. Of course, this means the will has be rock solid in how you want the money distributed. Ours is simple (two large fixed, listed amounts to two different charities, the rest split in half, with one half evenly distributed between our suriviving siblings (and they are listed out by full name) and the other half evenly distributed between our surviving direct (not married into) nieces/nephews (and they are listed out by full name). Simple, but rock solid.
I'm posting this in case it helps anyone.