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Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!
- Thread starter jmh
- Start date
- Status
Almington
Blood Boiling with Rage and Hate
Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!
Yes, didn't you the reserved tag I left behind?
Can I please find a female who doesn't have daddy issues?
Yes, didn't you the reserved tag I left behind?
Can I please find a female who doesn't have daddy issues?
bigblue_dl
Armed
Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!
I like the ones with daddy issues, they're more apt to let you put it in the pooper.
unh_hockey
pain is temporary pride is forever
Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!
AKJD:
I understand the pain of working with a limited social circle, but going after women at work poses a lot of risks - are you sure you'd want to risk unemployment for some tail? Remember, a failed advance outside of work means nothing...at work it means being awkward and chatter. This type of drama is inevitable and can really add complications to your life. Remember, women talk to other women so just because she doesn't work with you doesn't mean another co workers won't hear stuff which can in turn be closer to where you work.
That said, proceed with caution if you want to move forward.
The first step to getting a girls attention is to be somewhat popular. Hate to say it, but its like in high school. If you don't have a decent social circle and a life outside of work, you'll make things more difficult for yourself. If the chick at work sees you are an overall pretty legit guy who makes friends and can hold conversations, she'll be interested a little. From there its up to you to get good at conversation that leaves her wanting more. Stay away from boring crap and get her emotionally interested. You can always tell a chick who is uninterested who responds flat/ monotone vs a women who is interested who gives you the puppy dog eyes, asks questions, keeps the conversation going. Once you got that, say this,
' I am going to ( Me and some friends are going to) ____, you should come along'
I don't use pickup lines or **** like that, but this is the #1 piece of ammo which has gotten me more dates that I care to admit. Basically it says that you are doing something and that she is invited to participate. What it does is not place the burden of plans based on her. It shows you take initiative. Lastly it shows you got a life.
AKJD:
I understand the pain of working with a limited social circle, but going after women at work poses a lot of risks - are you sure you'd want to risk unemployment for some tail? Remember, a failed advance outside of work means nothing...at work it means being awkward and chatter. This type of drama is inevitable and can really add complications to your life. Remember, women talk to other women so just because she doesn't work with you doesn't mean another co workers won't hear stuff which can in turn be closer to where you work.
That said, proceed with caution if you want to move forward.
The first step to getting a girls attention is to be somewhat popular. Hate to say it, but its like in high school. If you don't have a decent social circle and a life outside of work, you'll make things more difficult for yourself. If the chick at work sees you are an overall pretty legit guy who makes friends and can hold conversations, she'll be interested a little. From there its up to you to get good at conversation that leaves her wanting more. Stay away from boring crap and get her emotionally interested. You can always tell a chick who is uninterested who responds flat/ monotone vs a women who is interested who gives you the puppy dog eyes, asks questions, keeps the conversation going. Once you got that, say this,
' I am going to ( Me and some friends are going to) ____, you should come along'
I don't use pickup lines or **** like that, but this is the #1 piece of ammo which has gotten me more dates that I care to admit. Basically it says that you are doing something and that she is invited to participate. What it does is not place the burden of plans based on her. It shows you take initiative. Lastly it shows you got a life.
state of hockey
He fixes the cable?
Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!
So it seems as though a few of my friends are trying to set me up with a girl one of my friends works with. Not a big fan of such things. Then they showed me pictures of her and I decided to not tell them to stop.
So it seems as though a few of my friends are trying to set me up with a girl one of my friends works with. Not a big fan of such things. Then they showed me pictures of her and I decided to not tell them to stop.
St. Clown
Ideas Posted are Likely Not My Own
Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!
I really hate being set up with a date. People, you don't really know what someone else looks for in a date, so stop presuming that you do. I've been set up a few times, and it's never gone even remotely well.
So it seems as though a few of my friends are trying to set me up with a girl one of my friends works with. Not a big fan of such things. Then they showed me pictures of her and I decided to not tell them to stop.
I really hate being set up with a date. People, you don't really know what someone else looks for in a date, so stop presuming that you do. I've been set up a few times, and it's never gone even remotely well.
state of hockey
He fixes the cable?
I agree. But I'll just let this one play out. She went Grand Rapids High School, which means she probably knows my ex. Never a great thing. Oh, and she went to UND, so this probably has no chance of working out.
Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!
LOL. My step-grandmother once insisted she should fix me up with one of my half-aunt's brothers because "he likes sports". Well, that's enough reason to marry him right there. Sports??? No way!!!
LOL. My step-grandmother once insisted she should fix me up with one of my half-aunt's brothers because "he likes sports". Well, that's enough reason to marry him right there. Sports??? No way!!!
Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!
Maybe not, but hate sex is always a great option.I agree. But I'll just let this one play out. She went Grand Rapids High School, which means she probably knows my ex. Never a great thing. Oh, and she went to UND, so this probably has no chance of working out.
FlagDUDE08
Banned
Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!
Some girl tried to do that with me for one of her friends, but then she didn't want to once she found out that I have long hair.
So it seems as though a few of my friends are trying to set me up with a girl one of my friends works with. Not a big fan of such things. Then they showed me pictures of her and I decided to not tell them to stop.
Some girl tried to do that with me for one of her friends, but then she didn't want to once she found out that I have long hair.
IrishWildcat
Holding onto what I haven't got
Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!
I guess I’m writing this more to put this entire thing into some sort of context that I can understand, and perhaps that by posting here, someone else can avoid my mistake.
My freshman year at UNH, the fall of 2004, my roommate tried to set me up with a girl in our dorm that he thought would be a good girlfriend for me. He had his own girlfriend, so he was simply being a good roommate. Things went rather well to begin with, and there was an early connection. However, unbeknownst to me, she also had a boyfriend back home. Now I was a little concerned at that notion, being of rather small stature, I was aware of just how easily I could lose a fight to an angry boyfriend. Therefore, I decided to pursue cautiously. Aggravating this was the fact that I was horrendously inexperienced with women at the time, so I had no idea what to pick up on, or when to make a move. Ultimately, I never made any sort of move at all. Things were kinda left hanging as we went to Christmas break. When we got back, I could notice things were different. We had a talk, and she said she didn’t really have feelings for me. This was, in retrospect, a crucial moment. I simply turned around, walked back to the dorm, and left it at that. I didn’t ask anything further, I didn’t want to get into reasons or anything. I just heard what I’d expected and walked home…no questions asked…literally.
I then went through every one of the “5 stages” in a completely random order, sometimes going back and forth, yet one remaining a constant. I was angry, and acted like a complete ******* to her for the first few months after our conversation (I DID end up apologizing later). I was depressed, and usually consulted my friends Sam Adams and Jameson regarding what to do, without many answers.
However, the two that stick out the most were denial and bargaining. We remained friends, mostly due to the fact that we shared a lot of friends in common, and so I simply refused to accept that she just wasn’t into me that way, and as a result tried everything in the book to try to re-light the fire. Perhaps that’s half the reason I acted like an *******. Then, after a while, I decided to go the Nice Guy route, and be helpful as could be without being a doormat. I tried distancing myself, only to discover that she was perfectly fine without me. I’d had relationships with other girls, but she had always stuck in the back of my head. I was constantly thinking that there had to be somehow, some way to get her interested in me again. “Maybe, if I was with another girl, she’d get jealous…” Simply put, that was my line of thinking, as she’d been with other guys and I lost my god**** mind over it.
At any rate, this pretty much continued into this past spring, when she broke up with her most recent boyfriend, and I saw this as my time to strike. We’d gone skiing, and started hanging out a bit more, so I figured I could make a move again. We got to talking about how things were going this past week, and she was lamenting not having a boyfriend. So I brought up myself as an option, and we had “The Talk” again about how I’m more of a brother than a boyfriend, and all of that garbage.
For some reason, it sank in this time, and I was more interested in investigating the reasons into it than simply torturing myself. I realized that I totally WAS in denial, and I was too much of a ****ing baby to accept it before. I think the moral of the story is don’t torture yourself over one woman that you think is The One…because she probably isn’t.
I guess I’m writing this more to put this entire thing into some sort of context that I can understand, and perhaps that by posting here, someone else can avoid my mistake.
My freshman year at UNH, the fall of 2004, my roommate tried to set me up with a girl in our dorm that he thought would be a good girlfriend for me. He had his own girlfriend, so he was simply being a good roommate. Things went rather well to begin with, and there was an early connection. However, unbeknownst to me, she also had a boyfriend back home. Now I was a little concerned at that notion, being of rather small stature, I was aware of just how easily I could lose a fight to an angry boyfriend. Therefore, I decided to pursue cautiously. Aggravating this was the fact that I was horrendously inexperienced with women at the time, so I had no idea what to pick up on, or when to make a move. Ultimately, I never made any sort of move at all. Things were kinda left hanging as we went to Christmas break. When we got back, I could notice things were different. We had a talk, and she said she didn’t really have feelings for me. This was, in retrospect, a crucial moment. I simply turned around, walked back to the dorm, and left it at that. I didn’t ask anything further, I didn’t want to get into reasons or anything. I just heard what I’d expected and walked home…no questions asked…literally.
I then went through every one of the “5 stages” in a completely random order, sometimes going back and forth, yet one remaining a constant. I was angry, and acted like a complete ******* to her for the first few months after our conversation (I DID end up apologizing later). I was depressed, and usually consulted my friends Sam Adams and Jameson regarding what to do, without many answers.
However, the two that stick out the most were denial and bargaining. We remained friends, mostly due to the fact that we shared a lot of friends in common, and so I simply refused to accept that she just wasn’t into me that way, and as a result tried everything in the book to try to re-light the fire. Perhaps that’s half the reason I acted like an *******. Then, after a while, I decided to go the Nice Guy route, and be helpful as could be without being a doormat. I tried distancing myself, only to discover that she was perfectly fine without me. I’d had relationships with other girls, but she had always stuck in the back of my head. I was constantly thinking that there had to be somehow, some way to get her interested in me again. “Maybe, if I was with another girl, she’d get jealous…” Simply put, that was my line of thinking, as she’d been with other guys and I lost my god**** mind over it.
At any rate, this pretty much continued into this past spring, when she broke up with her most recent boyfriend, and I saw this as my time to strike. We’d gone skiing, and started hanging out a bit more, so I figured I could make a move again. We got to talking about how things were going this past week, and she was lamenting not having a boyfriend. So I brought up myself as an option, and we had “The Talk” again about how I’m more of a brother than a boyfriend, and all of that garbage.
For some reason, it sank in this time, and I was more interested in investigating the reasons into it than simply torturing myself. I realized that I totally WAS in denial, and I was too much of a ****ing baby to accept it before. I think the moral of the story is don’t torture yourself over one woman that you think is The One…because she probably isn’t.
Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!
Alright, so an update of sorts.
A couple weeks ago, things with the girl at work were just so-so. Not bad, but no progress either. Then, she was talking to one of my friends at work and somehow he mentioned something I did that cracked him up, and her response was something along the lines of "Oh, so he can open up to people after all?" I didn't think that we even crossed paths often enough for her to expect much of anything, but apparently she did? I dunno. Anyway, he told her that yes I do open up to people, it can just take a while sometimes.
The next two days after that she seemed much friendlier. We had a couple of walk-and-talks, mostly work related, but still. She called down to ask me specifically to come get something from upstairs, that really anybody down there could've gotten. The next week was a bit of a wash, but I was REALLY busy and frankly never even got much of a chance to see her. Then the other day this week, she came down to bring some paperwork, started back upstairs, and then turned around and started talking to me about something somebody had told her about me. We talked about that for a minute or two, and she went back about her business.
Later that afternoon, she pulled an interesting move that really caught me off guard. I ran upstairs to talk to somebody, and on the way back down I started to go past her desk. She looked like she was pretty busy with whatever she was doing on the computer, so I just started to walk past and leave her be, but she suddenly turned away from the computer, faced and looked directly at me and plopped her arms down on the desk (in a get-your-attention way), smiled and rather enthusiastically said "Hi!" I said hi back, and we went back and forth with the typical "how are you doing/good, and you?" bit. It was quick, but the tone was rather... playful? I dunno. Then she kinda laughed and we went about our business. I dunno if she was just bored and decided to be random, or wanted to mess with me a little bit and see how I'd respond, or if she was just trying to get the point across that I'm welcome to stop and chat with her when I'm in the area, or if it was something else entirely.
I do wish I'd responded better though. It sure seems to me that she's trying to reach out to me, but I think I need to come up with a couple topics of conversation that I can cram into my head so I don't forget in the moment, so if she does something like that again, I can try to take the situation and go with it.
Any thoughts? Like I said, it seems to me that she's trying to reach out, but I'm not great at reading people. I'm also not sure how to proceed, other than do what I've been doing and hopefully have a conversation primed and ready for when the opportunity strikes. I don't really think we're at the "hey, let's go hang out" stage yet, and frankly a group outing with work friends isn't likely either, since they're all a bunch of sticks-in-the-mud
It's like pulling teeth to get any of them to go do much of anything. Trust me, I've tried.
Alright, so an update of sorts.
A couple weeks ago, things with the girl at work were just so-so. Not bad, but no progress either. Then, she was talking to one of my friends at work and somehow he mentioned something I did that cracked him up, and her response was something along the lines of "Oh, so he can open up to people after all?" I didn't think that we even crossed paths often enough for her to expect much of anything, but apparently she did? I dunno. Anyway, he told her that yes I do open up to people, it can just take a while sometimes.
The next two days after that she seemed much friendlier. We had a couple of walk-and-talks, mostly work related, but still. She called down to ask me specifically to come get something from upstairs, that really anybody down there could've gotten. The next week was a bit of a wash, but I was REALLY busy and frankly never even got much of a chance to see her. Then the other day this week, she came down to bring some paperwork, started back upstairs, and then turned around and started talking to me about something somebody had told her about me. We talked about that for a minute or two, and she went back about her business.
Later that afternoon, she pulled an interesting move that really caught me off guard. I ran upstairs to talk to somebody, and on the way back down I started to go past her desk. She looked like she was pretty busy with whatever she was doing on the computer, so I just started to walk past and leave her be, but she suddenly turned away from the computer, faced and looked directly at me and plopped her arms down on the desk (in a get-your-attention way), smiled and rather enthusiastically said "Hi!" I said hi back, and we went back and forth with the typical "how are you doing/good, and you?" bit. It was quick, but the tone was rather... playful? I dunno. Then she kinda laughed and we went about our business. I dunno if she was just bored and decided to be random, or wanted to mess with me a little bit and see how I'd respond, or if she was just trying to get the point across that I'm welcome to stop and chat with her when I'm in the area, or if it was something else entirely.
I do wish I'd responded better though. It sure seems to me that she's trying to reach out to me, but I think I need to come up with a couple topics of conversation that I can cram into my head so I don't forget in the moment, so if she does something like that again, I can try to take the situation and go with it.
Any thoughts? Like I said, it seems to me that she's trying to reach out, but I'm not great at reading people. I'm also not sure how to proceed, other than do what I've been doing and hopefully have a conversation primed and ready for when the opportunity strikes. I don't really think we're at the "hey, let's go hang out" stage yet, and frankly a group outing with work friends isn't likely either, since they're all a bunch of sticks-in-the-mud
It's like pulling teeth to get any of them to go do much of anything. Trust me, I've tried.
bigblue_dl
Armed
Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!
Ask her out for drinks after work with a group of friends. You go out with her and 2-3 other friends so you get time talk to her, and a better opportunity to see if there is anything there. You're in a group, so any awkwardness(is that a word?) is limited, and if it doesn't go well, then who cares, you were just a group of friends hanging out, no harm done.Alright, so an update of sorts.
A couple weeks ago, things with the girl at work were just so-so. Not bad, but no progress either. Then, she was talking to one of my friends at work and somehow he mentioned something I did that cracked him up, and her response was something along the lines of "Oh, so he can open up to people after all?" I didn't think that we even crossed paths often enough for her to expect much of anything, but apparently she did? I dunno. Anyway, he told her that yes I do open up to people, it can just take a while sometimes.
The next two days after that she seemed much friendlier. We had a couple of walk-and-talks, mostly work related, but still. She called down to ask me specifically to come get something from upstairs, that really anybody down there could've gotten. The next week was a bit of a wash, but I was REALLY busy and frankly never even got much of a chance to see her. Then the other day this week, she came down to bring some paperwork, started back upstairs, and then turned around and started talking to me about something somebody had told her about me. We talked about that for a minute or two, and she went back about her business.
Later that afternoon, she pulled an interesting move that really caught me off guard. I ran upstairs to talk to somebody, and on the way back down I started to go past her desk. She looked like she was pretty busy with whatever she was doing on the computer, so I just started to walk past and leave her be, but she suddenly turned away from the computer, faced and looked directly at me and plopped her arms down on the desk (in a get-your-attention way), smiled and rather enthusiastically said "Hi!" I said hi back, and we went back and forth with the typical "how are you doing/good, and you?" bit. It was quick, but the tone was rather... playful? I dunno. Then she kinda laughed and we went about our business. I dunno if she was just bored and decided to be random, or wanted to mess with me a little bit and see how I'd respond, or if she was just trying to get the point across that I'm welcome to stop and chat with her when I'm in the area, or if it was something else entirely.
I do wish I'd responded better though. It sure seems to me that she's trying to reach out to me, but I think I need to come up with a couple topics of conversation that I can cram into my head so I don't forget in the moment, so if she does something like that again, I can try to take the situation and go with it.
Any thoughts? Like I said, it seems to me that she's trying to reach out, but I'm not great at reading people. I'm also not sure how to proceed, other than do what I've been doing and hopefully have a conversation primed and ready for when the opportunity strikes. I don't really think we're at the "hey, let's go hang out" stage yet, and frankly a group outing with work friends isn't likely either, since they're all a bunch of sticks-in-the-mud
Almington
Blood Boiling with Rage and Hate
Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!
If what you say is correct, she is in fact interested in you, then you need to just man up and directly ask her if she'd like to do something with you after work. If she says no, that is that and you just need to move on.
Alright, so an update of sorts.
I do wish I'd responded better though. It sure seems to me that she's trying to reach out to me, but I think I need to come up with a couple topics of conversation that I can cram into my head so I don't forget in the moment, so if she does something like that again, I can try to take the situation and go with it.
Any thoughts? Like I said, it seems to me that she's trying to reach out, but I'm not great at reading people. I'm also not sure how to proceed, other than do what I've been doing and hopefully have a conversation primed and ready for when the opportunity strikes. I don't really think we're at the "hey, let's go hang out" stage yet, and frankly a group outing with work friends isn't likely either, since they're all a bunch of sticks-in-the-mud
If what you say is correct, she is in fact interested in you, then you need to just man up and directly ask her if she'd like to do something with you after work. If she says no, that is that and you just need to move on.
collegehcky2
Vinegar Strokes
unofan
Well-known member
Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!
Given your join date, I'm guessing you missed the inside joke...
True, unless you are happily single by choice.
Given your join date, I'm guessing you missed the inside joke...
True, unless you are happily single by choice.
bigblue_dl
Armed
Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!
Damm you guys. Now I'm craving banana bread.
Damm you guys. Now I'm craving banana bread.
XYZ
Smoking in the selection room.
Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!
What if I'm not, but say I am...and get a t-shirt that says so to prove it!?
What if I'm not, but say I am...and get a t-shirt that says so to prove it!?
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