RaceBoarder
Waiting for the Snow to fly...
Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!
Well, I landed myself dead center on awkward island thanks to some recent developments with friends...
BACKGROUND: I've known this girl, Sarah, since we were in High School back in 2002-03... Basically since Day 1 we've had this on again/off again thing going... Most of the time it was me liking her, but getting put in the "Friend Zone"... Despite this, we became the best of friends... Once I realized my place and accepted being in the "Fiend Zone", Sarah would have some change of heart where it comes out that she liked me and I should have made a move on her at X-point in the past... I then make my move at that time, but get the "Well the timing is off" excuse... This happened in High School, and it happened again once we both went away to college... Basically it was a comedy of errors on our timing I guess...
This stressed our relationship, but we remained "best friend" close through it all... This all came to a head on Halloween 2008 when we ended up going out barhopping together... I had known that she was on rocky ground with her current boyfriend, but I kept my distance... That night she blind-sides me by hitting on me pretty hardcore... After getting caught completely off-guard initially, I regained my awareness of what's going on and by the end of the night reciprocated her moves... After that, despite several attempts by me, she basically didn't speak to me at any length till mid-December because she had blown her mind with her actions and mixed feelings I guess... Again I was left hanging as she decided to stick with her boyfriend at the time... After that I basically told her to "eff off"...
In 2009 I had taken an internship down in Knoxville, TN while she finished up at Purdue... That summer, things with the boyfriend finally tanked, and she came to cry on my shoulder... Like a dumbass, I stood there for her... With my internship wrapping up and me moving back to Chicago in Oct., I decided to go "All in" on the situation... Once again, however, fate had different plans... Sarah had begun falling for my good friend Kevin... They had been friends since HS, and Kevin was a HS crush of hers, so I was sorta ok with that happening... The thing that blew that up was her reasoning however... I was told that she didn't want to date me because I was out of a job, living at home, I wasn't sure of my future, and I didn't have a grasp on what I was doing in life... She had a steady post-college job lined up and knew her deal pretty well... Only problem is that Kevin, the guy she was falling for, still acted like he was in high school... He lived at home, had no job other than umpiring baseball in the summer, and had zero incentive/instinct in his job hunt situation... His theory was to just hand off a half assed resume to a recruiter or his mom and let them send it out and research for openings...
That juxtaposition was enough to finally set me off... I told her that she can basically write me off as a friend at that point... We still had many common friends, so we would eventually hang out (took till about March/April) and I would be nice and all... But we never really spoke outside of those situations other than a random "What bar are you guys at?" sort of text... And those deals would be pretty few and far between...
Well, as of about 2 weeks ago, I guess she has taken a liking to my good friend Mike... I guess they have gone on a few dates and there is something there... Mike had bought cheap tickets to tomorrow's White Sox game and asked if I wanted to go... I just found out that the people going to the game are Mike, Sarah, Chis (probably my best friend and an ex of Sarah's) and myself...
Just not sure how I should really feel about this situation... Sarah seems to really enjoy the tendency to date around in our circle of friends... Because of that, I find it hard to not think about the "Why not me?" card in the back of my head... With Mike, she would have dated 3 of my closest friends... As much as I don't want to, it's hard to think about all the reasons why she told me "no" and how they should also DQ the people she dates... I don't want to be a ***** towards her and Mike, but I really have no desire to converse with her at any point... Distance is a good thing to have between us... Just don't want to involve Mike in this crap since our friendship developed more post-college, so I don't think he has a full idea of what has gone on between us... I'm just worried about extra contact with Sarah and the results... I know I got to man up at some point and let things go... It's just hard to do... Despite the fact that we never did date, I would be lying if I said that the relationship between Sarah and I wasn't one of, if not the deepest relationship I have been in... There is a whole bunch more in the past to this deal, but this is long enough as it is... Anyone interested in sharing their $.02 on this deal? Just not sure the "ingnore unless absolutely necessary" tactic will work if her dating Mike really works out...
Well, I landed myself dead center on awkward island thanks to some recent developments with friends...
BACKGROUND: I've known this girl, Sarah, since we were in High School back in 2002-03... Basically since Day 1 we've had this on again/off again thing going... Most of the time it was me liking her, but getting put in the "Friend Zone"... Despite this, we became the best of friends... Once I realized my place and accepted being in the "Fiend Zone", Sarah would have some change of heart where it comes out that she liked me and I should have made a move on her at X-point in the past... I then make my move at that time, but get the "Well the timing is off" excuse... This happened in High School, and it happened again once we both went away to college... Basically it was a comedy of errors on our timing I guess...
This stressed our relationship, but we remained "best friend" close through it all... This all came to a head on Halloween 2008 when we ended up going out barhopping together... I had known that she was on rocky ground with her current boyfriend, but I kept my distance... That night she blind-sides me by hitting on me pretty hardcore... After getting caught completely off-guard initially, I regained my awareness of what's going on and by the end of the night reciprocated her moves... After that, despite several attempts by me, she basically didn't speak to me at any length till mid-December because she had blown her mind with her actions and mixed feelings I guess... Again I was left hanging as she decided to stick with her boyfriend at the time... After that I basically told her to "eff off"...
In 2009 I had taken an internship down in Knoxville, TN while she finished up at Purdue... That summer, things with the boyfriend finally tanked, and she came to cry on my shoulder... Like a dumbass, I stood there for her... With my internship wrapping up and me moving back to Chicago in Oct., I decided to go "All in" on the situation... Once again, however, fate had different plans... Sarah had begun falling for my good friend Kevin... They had been friends since HS, and Kevin was a HS crush of hers, so I was sorta ok with that happening... The thing that blew that up was her reasoning however... I was told that she didn't want to date me because I was out of a job, living at home, I wasn't sure of my future, and I didn't have a grasp on what I was doing in life... She had a steady post-college job lined up and knew her deal pretty well... Only problem is that Kevin, the guy she was falling for, still acted like he was in high school... He lived at home, had no job other than umpiring baseball in the summer, and had zero incentive/instinct in his job hunt situation... His theory was to just hand off a half assed resume to a recruiter or his mom and let them send it out and research for openings...
That juxtaposition was enough to finally set me off... I told her that she can basically write me off as a friend at that point... We still had many common friends, so we would eventually hang out (took till about March/April) and I would be nice and all... But we never really spoke outside of those situations other than a random "What bar are you guys at?" sort of text... And those deals would be pretty few and far between...
Well, as of about 2 weeks ago, I guess she has taken a liking to my good friend Mike... I guess they have gone on a few dates and there is something there... Mike had bought cheap tickets to tomorrow's White Sox game and asked if I wanted to go... I just found out that the people going to the game are Mike, Sarah, Chis (probably my best friend and an ex of Sarah's) and myself...
Just not sure how I should really feel about this situation... Sarah seems to really enjoy the tendency to date around in our circle of friends... Because of that, I find it hard to not think about the "Why not me?" card in the back of my head... With Mike, she would have dated 3 of my closest friends... As much as I don't want to, it's hard to think about all the reasons why she told me "no" and how they should also DQ the people she dates... I don't want to be a ***** towards her and Mike, but I really have no desire to converse with her at any point... Distance is a good thing to have between us... Just don't want to involve Mike in this crap since our friendship developed more post-college, so I don't think he has a full idea of what has gone on between us... I'm just worried about extra contact with Sarah and the results... I know I got to man up at some point and let things go... It's just hard to do... Despite the fact that we never did date, I would be lying if I said that the relationship between Sarah and I wasn't one of, if not the deepest relationship I have been in... There is a whole bunch more in the past to this deal, but this is long enough as it is... Anyone interested in sharing their $.02 on this deal? Just not sure the "ingnore unless absolutely necessary" tactic will work if her dating Mike really works out...
