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Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

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I wrote this on a reddit site in response to a young person's question of whether love is worth it. It is an Old's wisdom. But even with that I find I believe it.

The initial stage of romantic love is not something you get a choice about. It will overtake you and drown you like a feather in a storm. Enjoy that.

Respecting and fostering a loving relationship, when that stage of bliss inevitably passes after a few weeks or months, is like any demanding but fulfilling lifestyle: it works if you commit to it sincerely, give yourself wholly to it, and have a gentle sense of the absurdity of it. If you try to stand outside it and relate to it critically or ironically it will not work.

If you adapt to and cultivate it, it is one of the few deep satisfactions for a self-aware human being, like art, music, parenthood, a profession, kindness, serving others. If you are wedded to self, it will not stand for you. Our culture celebrates both love and individualism, but they are not compatible. A man cannot serve two masters: each action is a choice between love and self.

Love is a balloon you can step into and float above the pointless, cruel idiocy of having been born into a purposeless universe with a brain wired to inexhaustible thirst for purpose. If you are made of sharp knives you will slice through and fall. You have to make yourself softer and flexible; then it can hold you. Love has tremendous updraft ability but it is delicate and you cannot thrust a jagged ego forward.
 
Well written. It's exactly right.

Coming home to someone who loves you and someone you love is... it's hard to describe. You feel whole again.
 
Kepler said:
I wrote this on a reddit site in response to a young person's question of whether love is worth it. It is an Old's wisdom. But even with that I find I believe it.

The initial stage of romantic love is not something you get a choice about. It will overtake you and drown you like a feather in a storm. Enjoy that.

Respecting and fostering a loving relationship, when that stage of bliss inevitably passes after a few weeks or months, is like any demanding but fulfilling lifestyle: it works if you commit to it sincerely, give yourself wholly to it, and have a gentle sense of the absurdity of it. If you try to stand outside it and relate to it critically or ironically it will not work.

If you adapt to and cultivate it, it is one of the few deep satisfactions for a self-aware human being, like art, music, parenthood, a profession, kindness, serving others. If you are wedded to self, it will not stand for you. Our culture celebrates both love and individualism, but they are not compatible. A man cannot serve two masters: each action is a choice between love and self.

Love is a balloon you can step into and float above the pointless, cruel idiocy of having been born into a purposeless universe with a brain wired to inexhaustible thirst for purpose. If you are made of sharp knives you will slice through and fall. You have to make yourself softer and flexible; then it can hold you. Love has tremendous updraft ability but it is delicate and you cannot thrust a jagged ego forward.
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tl;dr version from Col. Sherman T. Potter: "When you're in love, you're always in trouble; all you can do is either stop loving 'em, or love 'em a whole lot more."
 
I appreciate how you all wrote these without sounding like pricks.

so many people manage to say these things and make people who are happy being single sound like freaks who don’t live in reality because they never knew happiness until they found someone.

i think the posters here actually realize some people can find a shred of happiness without being coupled up

but i do enjoy seeing the desperate posts on Facebook from people desperate to justify their choices and make sure everyone knows just how happy they are with those choices lol
 
walrus said:
Happily single and Banana Bread
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captain-america-i-understood-that-reference.gif
 
A lot of good advice in that piece, Kep. I think having a gentle sense of the absurdity of it is a healthful way to approach much of life.
 
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