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Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

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MissThundercat said:
But then again, at this age, you take the best of what's available. In my case, dating while trans and over 40 is like going to a liquidation sale only to find out the shelves have been picked mostly clean, leaving you with the best of the slightly damaged, but still usable goods.
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If it makes you feel any better, it's exactly the same on the other side of the aisle...
 
Kepler said:
Whatever gets your motor running.

There's a great line in "Smiles for a Summer Night," when Desiree tells the Captain's wife, "as for what women find attractive, aesthetics is not usually involved."

If you want to appeal to most men, be young and fit.

If you want to appeal to most women, be tall and rich.

But who would want to appeal to most people? Have you met most people?
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And this is something that gets lost in the process...

Being up front about what your preferences are makes the process so much smoother.

I fully respect all the women that are clear in their profiles about having multiple kids. Personally, at this point in time, that is a hard pass for me. So I don't want to waste either party's time and risk misleading myself or someone along the way.

It sucks when you are the one who is excluded for whatever reason in the dating world. It especially sucks when you are excluded for reasons that you are open about, but the other person was in (is "denial" the right word here?) about their feelings on the matter.

My last relationship ended because the woman flat out wanted to be part of "wealthy society" but due to several circumstances she realized that her current situation didn't attract suitors from that world. So she kept those feelings/desires bottled up in exchange for forming partial connections with people. It's an effed up system when you realize you got played.
 
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Yeah it’s the same everywhere.

I tried online dating when I was newly single at 35. Couldn’t find anyone under 50 because every dude near my age was obsessed with finding someone in their 20s to have kids.

im sure there are men out there who don’t want kids/already have kids I just stopped looking
 
If you like crib play, put it in your profile. 99% will run in horror but the three hits you get will be chef's kiss.
 
Deutsche Gopher Fan said:
Couldn’t find anyone under 50 because every dude near my age was obsessed with finding someone in their 20s to have kids.
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The Midwest really is different.

I don't know any 30-something guys who went trawling for 20-somethings because they wanted children. I know scores of 30-something guys who went trawling for 20-somethings immediately after they got vasectomies.
 
FadeToBlack&Gold said:
And that's why lots of men lie on their dating profiles and say they are 6' or 5'11" when they're really 5'9".
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Bumble allows users to use premade prompts to post ideas in their profile. One is "My personal hell is..." and a common response is "showing up (to a date) in my best heels only to see he's as tall as me"...


I just wish that more people would realize that, as humans, dating is no different than what we see the neon colored birds in the Amazon doing when they dance around and make vivid displays. We just have the ability to realize that our displays may get turned down. We just can't accept that simple fact though.
 
Kepler said:
The Midwest really is different.

I don't know any 30-something guys who went trawling for 20-somethings because they wanted children. I know scores of 30-something guys who went trawling for 20-somethings immediately after they got vasectomies.
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That still happens here. It's usually a financial class thing though, hence why you see it as a more common occurrence from your PoV.
 
RaceBoarder said:
That still happens here. It's usually a financial class thing though, hence why you see it as a more common occurrence from your PoV.
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The Poors want kids? Which they can't afford.

I mean, I guess. I know it happens with women but men? I absolutely believe your experience, I just find it really counter-intuitive. Is it that Joe Bob Derp really wants to pass on the storied Derp name?
 
Midwestern Men as a whole tend to buy into the "Have a house and 1-3 kids by the time you are 32" storyline, even now. Especially once you get outside of major urban areas.

It's something that has impacted my mental health, especially in my late 20's. You just can't easily shake the pre-determined roles that society pushes on you.
 
RaceBoarder said:
Midwestern Men as a whole tend to buy into the "Have a house and 1-3 kids by the time you are 32" storyline, even now. Especially once you get outside of major urban areas.

It's something that has impacted my mental health, especially in my late 20's. You just can't easily shake the pre-determined roles that society pushes on you.
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My advice to everybody in the Midwest is to run away to New York City when you are 17. Don't get me wrong: it may not end well. But it will definitely open your mind to what the possibilities of life are. And if there is even a kernel of talent or ambition or imagination inside you, the godforsaken heat of the city will pop it and you will know what you carry inside you.

Note: this is not a recipe for happiness. Just forced, fast evolution.
 
In my single days, I would always look for the mid-late 30 something women just out of a long relationship, because those were the ones who wanted to cut all the way to the chase and get down and dirty. And then wanted me to go away.
 
FadeToBlack&Gold said:
And that's why lots of men lie on their dating profiles and say they are 6' or 5'11" when they're really 5'9".
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My wife gave me (in part, I hope) a second date because my profile stated I was 5'11'' and I actually am 5'11". She was so impressed with my ability to not blatantly lie about something that will clearly come to light as a lie, she overlooked every other flaw :)
 
I have no idea what hooked my wife. I probably should. Probably that i'm just a great guy. :-/






I'm guessing it helped that I was one of her brother-in-law's oldest friends and hung around them a lot. So I was basically pre-approved by her closest sister.:D
 
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