MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
I have a date with a gorgeous trans woman tomorrow.
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Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!
- Thread starter jmh
- Start date
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Kepler
Cornell Big Red
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
Well that will make two of you.
Hope you hit it off.
We hit it off as friends. She's about 10 years older than me and in a more hostile area of MI (Belding/Ionia). She says a few of her neighbors are cool, some of them are not so cool. Even though there was no spark romantically, at least I gained someone else to talk to and spend time with.
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
The only thing NYC has that I could possibly want at the moment: better and more efficient city planning. The GR suburbs are so poorly planned and sprawled out that it takes 17 turns and a sacrifice to the Goddess to get out of a neighborhood.
Kepler
Cornell Big Red
I have some very bad news for you...
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
I uninstalled OK Cupid and Bumble awhile back, but I will probably put myself back on one of them.
Several of the idiots on FetLife who approach me are ones seem to think I'm the box they can check, and I deeply resent being treated as a fetish and nothing else.
Several of the idiots on FetLife who approach me are ones seem to think I'm the box they can check, and I deeply resent being treated as a fetish and nothing else.
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
So I had a brunch date with a lovely woman this morning and we kissed.
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
And I get to see her tonight and I'm hella nervous.
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
Date number 3 with the lady this morning.
St. Clown
Ideas Posted are Likely Not My Own
Back before my wife and I met, she had been on a few dates with some guy. According to her, things went fine but not great, so she broke it off with him.
Skip ahead to last year, and my wife spotted him at Target while she and I were there, though I was off hunting for one thing while she was with our daughter and hunting another thing. Apparently, the guy spotted her there, too, but didn’t approach because he was there with some other woman. My wife mentioned it to me at the time, saying that she’d no interest in ever taking to him ever again. That struck me as the guy doing something creepy/sketchy with/to her back in the day, but I didn’t pursue it because we all have histories.
A week or so later, the guy sends her an email to her old email address, one that used her maiden name and she kept for legacy financial accounts. She decided then to update her legacy accounts to her current email and then closed the old email account. Clearly something was off there.
Jump ahead to today, and my wife tells me that Sketchy Dude just sent an email to my wife’s work email account. She started at this job after we married. He had to do some serious internet stalking to find her, and then just as much lack of sense to actually reach out to her, which implicitly tells her how much effort he put into tracking her.
She replied to him, telling him that she found it very creepy and that he’s not to reach out to her again. She then sent me the email just so that a copy of it was kept somewhere else. This is all very strange and it’s really unsettled her. If he reaches out again, I’m not sure if the cops will become involved but perhaps some sort of restraining order will be filed.
I’m so glad that I’m not a woman and having to deal with crap like that back from when I was dating.
Skip ahead to last year, and my wife spotted him at Target while she and I were there, though I was off hunting for one thing while she was with our daughter and hunting another thing. Apparently, the guy spotted her there, too, but didn’t approach because he was there with some other woman. My wife mentioned it to me at the time, saying that she’d no interest in ever taking to him ever again. That struck me as the guy doing something creepy/sketchy with/to her back in the day, but I didn’t pursue it because we all have histories.
A week or so later, the guy sends her an email to her old email address, one that used her maiden name and she kept for legacy financial accounts. She decided then to update her legacy accounts to her current email and then closed the old email account. Clearly something was off there.
Jump ahead to today, and my wife tells me that Sketchy Dude just sent an email to my wife’s work email account. She started at this job after we married. He had to do some serious internet stalking to find her, and then just as much lack of sense to actually reach out to her, which implicitly tells her how much effort he put into tracking her.
She replied to him, telling him that she found it very creepy and that he’s not to reach out to her again. She then sent me the email just so that a copy of it was kept somewhere else. This is all very strange and it’s really unsettled her. If he reaches out again, I’m not sure if the cops will become involved but perhaps some sort of restraining order will be filed.
I’m so glad that I’m not a woman and having to deal with crap like that back from when I was dating.
RaceBoarder
Waiting for the Snow to fly...
Agree with DX.
The tracking down of a current work e-mail address that was established well after they should have ended contact is all sorts of weird and sketchy.
Calling the guy out on it is probably the only way that the lightbulb could POSSIBLY be triggered regarding this clearly socially unacceptable behavior if indeed it is just a very misguided, yet innocently intended choice by this guy. But odds are he's probably done similar things to others and it needs to be stopped.
The tracking down of a current work e-mail address that was established well after they should have ended contact is all sorts of weird and sketchy.
Calling the guy out on it is probably the only way that the lightbulb could POSSIBLY be triggered regarding this clearly socially unacceptable behavior if indeed it is just a very misguided, yet innocently intended choice by this guy. But odds are he's probably done similar things to others and it needs to be stopped.
St. Clown
Ideas Posted are Likely Not My Own
My wife told the guy to never reach out to her again in her reply yesterday. The fact that she had *merely* ghosted him with all previous times he tried to contact her means that this did the first time she explicitly said he is unwelcome in her life. With that, could anything actually happen if she went to the cops? I’d think they could only intervene if he makes contact ever again.
dxmnkd316
Lucia Apologist
So I'm not going to pretend I know anything about this, but I used to live with a paralegal who would give me little bits here and there about why reporting to the cops (even if nothing will come out of it immediately) is important. If you're in an accident, don't tell the cops you feel fine if you have a small twinge in the neck. Document everything so it's on the record and you have something to start with should it get worse.
I think that same principle works here. You already have a pattern of behavior. Even if it's nothing right now or he never contacts you again or the cops can't do much, the next time something does happen, it won't be the first they've heard about it.
That documentation is the critical part here. I know you have an email documented, but I don't think it would hurt to at least contact the police and see what options you have. I know that's an escalation and I know that's a lot of work, but I think it's worth it in case it does happen again. Harassment doesn't necessarily need to have a "Please stop" first to be considered harassment.
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