Rep Retirement Lodge #111: Filling in for the night shift

[nmupiccdiva]

Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #111: Filling in for the night shift

The best rule that we established was that if you wanted something that wasn't in the plan, you pay for it yourself. That got a lot of people to shut up.

This. No offense to my former roommate, but... her parents and his parents were splitting the cost, and they were making a lot of calls on things. Not like I didn't feel bad, because it is her and her fiancé's wedding, but if they aren't the ones putting the money up then they shouldn't get 100% of the call on things. You want it? You pay for it. Plain and simple.

If I ever get married, it's going to be VERY simple. Mostly because I don't think my family is going to want to put up the funds for a big production, nor would I want them to, and goodness knows that as a teacher I won't have the money for that.

 

[The Rube]

Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #111: Filling in for the night shift

This. No offense to my former roommate, but... her parents and his parents were splitting the cost, and they were making a lot of calls on things. Not like I didn't feel bad, because it is her and her fiancé's wedding, but if they aren't the ones putting the money up then they shouldn't get 100% of the call on things. You want it? You pay for it. Plain and simple.

If I ever get married, it's going to be VERY simple. Mostly because I don't think my family is going to want to put up the funds for a big production, nor would I want them to, and goodness knows that as a teacher I won't have the money for that.

I bet your dad is holding a shotgun at your wedding.

 

[MarkEagleUSA]

Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #111: Filling in for the night shift

I got married in the backyard

Me too (at least the 2nd time).

The first was 150+ people from 3 set of parents (her's were divorced and remarried). After the first 15 minutes of the initial planning session I walked out after saying "do whatever the **** you want but you're paying for it", and they did. We met relatives we didn't even know we had! The worst thing for me was that with so many people, we spent all night getting introduced to all these people and didn't enjoy the reception at all. I never even finished my dinner.

All that money and planning and the marriage lasted a whopping 3-1/2 years!

I almost didn't ask #2 (the current wife) to marry me because of everything that went on with the 1st wedding. Luckily, she didn't want anything fancy. The guest list was under 40 and mostly friends. Instead of gifts, we asked that everyone bring something for the party. The most expensive purchases were her dress (not a gown) and my suit. Everyone else was in t-shirts and shorts or bathing suits (we changed immediately after the ceremony). It was more like a summer picnic than a wedding but everyone had a great time and it didn't cost a fortune. Best part was being able to spend quality time with some of our closest friends and family in a very relaxed setting.

I bet your dad is holding a shotgun at your wedding.

I don't see that happening to 'diva...

 

[Patman]

Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #111: Filling in for the night shift

This. No offense to my former roommate, but... her parents and his parents were splitting the cost, and they were making a lot of calls on things. Not like I didn't feel bad, because it is her and her fiancé's wedding, but if they aren't the ones putting the money up then they shouldn't get 100% of the call on things. You want it? You pay for it. Plain and simple.

If I ever get married, it's going to be VERY simple. Mostly because I don't think my family is going to want to put up the funds for a big production, nor would I want them to, and goodness knows that as a teacher I won't have the money for that.

This is why I need to marry rich Yes, I know I make a good income but it ain't that good and my family has zilch.

Sloe... shouldn't your parents have some understanding (compassion?) for the costs of an extravaganza? Its a celebration... not a time to pretend to be rich.

Gotta wonder really... spend tons of money on a wedding... doesn't that make the rest of the life a let down knowing you can only hit that level of extravagance at other people's weddings? This is probably why I'm single but I've accepted I'm working down a different path in life than most (not accepting singleness... but rather my non-understanding of people).

edit: to me, naively, wedding means the rental of a church (and with the RCC mandating a year+classes you can probably forget that) and a local hall... I suppose I missed the parts where you come in and serve up the unicorn and shoot off fireworks.

 

[nmupiccdiva]

Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #111: Filling in for the night shift

Me too (at least the 2nd time).

The first was 150+ people from 3 set of parents (her's were divorced and remarried). After the first 15 minutes of the initial planning session I walked out after saying "do whatever the **** you want but you're paying for it", and they did. We met relatives we didn't even know we had! The worst thing for me was that with so many people, we spent all night getting introduced to all these people and didn't enjoy the reception at all. I never even finished my dinner.

All that money and planning and the marriage lasted a whopping 3-1/2 years!

I almost didn't ask #2 (the current wife) to marry me because of everything that went on with the 1st wedding. Luckily, she didn't want anything fancy. The guest list was under 40 and mostly friends. Instead of gifts, we asked that everyone bring something for the party. The most expensive purchases were her dress (not a gown) and my suit. Everyone else was in t-shirts and shorts or bathing suits (we changed immediately after the ceremony). It was more like a summer picnic than a wedding but everyone had a great time and it didn't cost a fortune. Best part was being able to spend quality time with some of our closest friends and family in a very relaxed setting.


I don't see that happening to 'diva...

You've never met my family, have you? Someone's going to have a gun, at least in out the truck.

I like the sound of your second wedding. That sounds more on par with what I would like.

This is why I need to marry rich Yes, I know I make a good income but it ain't that good and my family has zilch.

Sloe... shouldn't your parents have some understanding (compassion?) for the costs of an extravaganza? Its a celebration... not a time to pretend to be rich.

Gotta wonder really... spend tons of money on a wedding... doesn't that make the rest of the life a let down knowing you can only hit that level of extravagance at other people's weddings? This is probably why I'm single but I've accepted I'm working down a different path in life than most (not accepting singleness... but rather my non-understanding of people).

edit: to me, naively, wedding means the rental of a church (and with the RCC mandating a year+classes you can probably forget that) and a local hall... I suppose I missed the parts where you come in and serve up the unicorn and shoot off fireworks.

This too. Church (or somewhere to hold the ceremony), a hall/tent to hold the reception. Dinner, bar, cake, dancing. There. It doesn't need to be a three-ring circus with your third grade babysitter's grandma in attendance.

 

[Bakunin]

Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #111: Filling in for the night shift

Even a relatively simple ceremony + reception costs a fair amount. My sister's wedding was nearly 10 years ago and wasn't anything extravagant - yet it still cost something like $15k. I think that 3/4 of that cost was due to the reception (food + renting a place out for a night + booze for 100+ guests).

Personally, I'd prefer to elope. Instead of spending $20k on a ceremonial thing, why not spend a small fraction of that (say $5k) on the honeymoon instead?

 

[nmupiccdiva]

Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #111: Filling in for the night shift

Even a relatively simple ceremony + reception costs a fair amount. My sister's wedding was nearly 10 years ago and wasn't anything extravagant - yet it still cost something like $15k. I think that 3/4 of that cost was due to the reception (food + renting a place out for a night + booze for 100+ guests).

Personally, I'd prefer to elope. Instead of spending $20k on a ceremonial thing, why not spend a small fraction of that (say $5k) on the honeymoon instead?

Oh, yeah, I understand that completely. (Remember, at one point I was starting to look in to this kind of stuff.) I'm just saying that there are some people now who are having 300+ guests in a castle and are dropping 50k+ on these events, and that's just excessive if you ask me.

 

[MarkEagleUSA]

Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #111: Filling in for the night shift

You've never met my family, have you? Someone's going to have a gun, at least in out the truck.

Well, hopefully it won't be needed in the context that Brent was referring to. Even though you're the queen of SENANICANS, I think you're smarter than that!

Personally, I'd prefer to elope.

I've told both my daughters that I'll give them $1,000.00 and drive 'em anywhere they want to go!

 

[Scarlet]

Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #111: Filling in for the night shift

Well, hopefully it won't be needed in the context that Brent was referring to. Even though you're the queen of SENANICANS, I think you're smarter than that!

I've told both my daughters that I'll give them $1,000.00 and drive 'em anywhere they want to go!

$1000 isn't going to get them anywhere.

 

[Bakunin]

Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #111: Filling in for the night shift

$1000 isn't going to get them anywhere.

Oh come on, they could've attended the Columbus F4 in style with a grand.

I think having a reception / ceremony on separate days is a wise move - when they're back-to-back on the same day, the couple always seems stressed out / exhausted.

 

[MarkEagleUSA]

Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #111: Filling in for the night shift

$1000 isn't going to get them anywhere.

That's why I offered to drive!

Honestly, I scared to death about being the father of two brides! My oldest is pretty practical and very tight when it comes to money so she may not be too bad. The youngest is... blond... 'nuff said!

 

[A Shot and a Goal]

Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #111: Filling in for the night shift

My wife and I are heading to church to help cook and serve a pasta dinner [as well as tend bar] in order to raise money for the Saint Vincent dePaul Society for which she serves as president. Have a good evening LODGEONIANS.

 

[Bakunin]

Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #111: Filling in for the night shift

My oldest is pretty practical and very tight when it comes to money so she may not be too bad.

We'd get along well.

 

[Sloe Gin]

Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #111: Filling in for the night shift

thanks everyone. Her dad has given us a budget of 15,000 to work with. We've found a reception place that will fit well within that, so now we're left with a nice chunk of change. We do want to pay for some things ourselves though (photography, cake, a few other things) so that's kind of where we're at.

Some USCHOers are getting invited to this shindig. You know who you are, and if I hear any ontonagons, I reserve the right to stab you with a pitchfork.

 

[Patman]

Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #111: Filling in for the night shift

Oh, yeah, I understand that completely. (Remember, at one point I was starting to look in to this kind of stuff.) I'm just saying that there are some people now who are having 300+ guests in a castle and are dropping 50k+ on these events, and that's just excessive if you ask me.

I'm trying to think in this hypothetical situation how much family I'd have to invite... immediate family (3)... mother's side of aunts, uncles, cousins, and my one remaining grandmother (16)... father's side same deal (9... if in New England expect one uncle to want his kids and their brood to freeload). 28... you know, I'd be set with that... and considering the stress my mother has had to deal with her side and my fathers side being them (not being big on large gatherings... or talking for that matter... just their personalities... no family problems) I think my parents will be sane about the process.

---

Gotta get back to the original task of today... clean the apartment and look for things to do and clubs to join. I sure ain't getting married without having friends or a girl.

 

[Bakunin]

Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #111: Filling in for the night shift

Some USCHOers are getting invited to this shindig. You know who you are, and if I hear any ontonagons, I reserve the right to stab you with a pitchfork.

I'll reach my quota in Vegas next year.

 

[MinnesotaNorthStar]

Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #111: Filling in for the night shift

When I get married I'm going to leave most of the decision making to her. I'll be as involved or uninvolved as she wants me to be...

On second thought, by that point, Hell will have frozen over and I'll have bigger things to worry about.

 

[MarkEagleUSA]

Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #111: Filling in for the night shift

We'd get along well.

Um... er... she hates doing housework (just like her mother)!

 

[MarkEagleUSA]

Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #111: Filling in for the night shift

When I get married I'm going to leave most of the decision making to her. I'll be as involved or uninvolved as she wants me to be...

Yeah, ok... but we're talking about planning the wedding, not what happens after the honeymoon is over!

 

[Bakunin]

Re: Rep Retirement Lodge #111: Filling in for the night shift

Um... er... she hates doing housework (just like her mother)!

Can she cook? How old is this girl?