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Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
- Thread starter FreshFish
- Start date
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MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Q: did you hear about the evil tuna?
A: He was rotten to the albacore.
Q: did you hear about the evil tuna?
A: He was rotten to the albacore.
Twitch Boy
Defacing this tagline is a MAX foul
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"
FlagDUDE08
Banned
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
A person with one eye can see more than a person with two eyes can see.
The person with the one eye can see the other person's two eyes, whereas the person with the two eyes can only see the other person's one.
A person with one eye can see more than a person with two eyes can see.
The person with the one eye can see the other person's two eyes, whereas the person with the two eyes can only see the other person's one.
gounhwildcats
Go Cats!! Beat Maine!!!
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Ya, this is all very punny.
Ya, this is all very punny.
state of hockey
He fixes the cable?
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Geology rocks.
Geology rocks.
FlagDUDE08
Banned
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
I met a guy who works in a theatre, and he said that he calls the lights. So, I asked him, "What do you call the lights?" He didn't know, and so I helped him out: "Bulbs." I then asked him, "What happens if the lights don't come when you call them?" He didn't know, and so I helped him out: "Long time, no see."
I met a guy who works in a theatre, and he said that he calls the lights. So, I asked him, "What do you call the lights?" He didn't know, and so I helped him out: "Bulbs." I then asked him, "What happens if the lights don't come when you call them?" He didn't know, and so I helped him out: "Long time, no see."
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
I remember the first pun I ever heard, courtesy of my pun-obsessed father, who had just thrown an apple core into the bushes.
Me (age 6): Dad, you shouldn't litter.
Dad: Don't worry. A henway will get it.
Me: What's a henway?
Dad: About 3 pounds.
I remember the first pun I ever heard, courtesy of my pun-obsessed father, who had just thrown an apple core into the bushes.
Me (age 6): Dad, you shouldn't litter.
Dad: Don't worry. A henway will get it.
Me: What's a henway?
Dad: About 3 pounds.
Jimjamesak
Already insane, UAA making it worse
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
A: The elephino!
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
A: The elephino!
Twitch Boy
Defacing this tagline is a MAX foul
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Two drums and a cymbal fall down a flight of stairs.
Ba-dum tssh.
Two drums and a cymbal fall down a flight of stairs.
Ba-dum tssh.
FlagDUDE08
Banned
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
What's a hindu?
Lays eggs.
What's a hindu?
Lays eggs.
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
One winter evening, a tremendous blizzard hit the native American reservation. Snow was piled in huge drifts everywhere, so much so that people could not even leave their homes for days.
Nine months later, the reservation maternity ward was full to overflowing. They never had so many women about to deliver at the same time. All beds were full, so they started taking out futons, and to keep the mothers about to give birth warm and comfortable, they scrounged around looking for animal skins to cover the futon. They found a bison skin, and prepared a snug delivery place for one, they found a deer skin, and prepared a snug delivery place for another.
Finally, the last woman on the reservation about to give birth came to the clinic. They looked everywhere for an animal skin. Just then, one of the attendants remembered that a traveling zoo had passed their way a few years ago, and an old hippopotamus had died. The circus owner and the tribal leader worked something out, and eventually the tribe had a fine hippopotamus skin, which they were able to find and spread out to make a fine place to deliver a baby.
Well, dawn finally arrived. During the night, the first two women each gave birth to a fine healthy boy, and the last woman gave birth to twin baby boys.
One of many different ways to prove once again, that the sons of the squaw of the hippopatomus are equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.
One winter evening, a tremendous blizzard hit the native American reservation. Snow was piled in huge drifts everywhere, so much so that people could not even leave their homes for days.
Nine months later, the reservation maternity ward was full to overflowing. They never had so many women about to deliver at the same time. All beds were full, so they started taking out futons, and to keep the mothers about to give birth warm and comfortable, they scrounged around looking for animal skins to cover the futon. They found a bison skin, and prepared a snug delivery place for one, they found a deer skin, and prepared a snug delivery place for another.
Finally, the last woman on the reservation about to give birth came to the clinic. They looked everywhere for an animal skin. Just then, one of the attendants remembered that a traveling zoo had passed their way a few years ago, and an old hippopotamus had died. The circus owner and the tribal leader worked something out, and eventually the tribe had a fine hippopotamus skin, which they were able to find and spread out to make a fine place to deliver a baby.
Well, dawn finally arrived. During the night, the first two women each gave birth to a fine healthy boy, and the last woman gave birth to twin baby boys.
One of many different ways to prove once again, that the sons of the squaw of the hippopatomus are equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.
Last edited:
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Three blondes walked into a bar...the fourth one ducked.
One night at work a couple years ago, someone was having problems getting his computer to work. As he's freaking out, this exchange happens...
Person A: Did you check the buttfor?
Person B: Yeah! I checked it!!
That exchange went on for quite a while until Person B finally asks...
Person B: What's the buttfor?
Person A: It's for pooping!!!
Three blondes walked into a bar...the fourth one ducked.
One night at work a couple years ago, someone was having problems getting his computer to work. As he's freaking out, this exchange happens...
Person A: Did you check the buttfor?
Person B: Yeah! I checked it!!
That exchange went on for quite a while until Person B finally asks...
Person B: What's the buttfor?
Person A: It's for pooping!!!
gounhwildcats
Go Cats!! Beat Maine!!!
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
A snail walks into a car dealership, and a salesman approaches him. He says to the snail "can I help you out?" The snail says "yes, I'd like to buy the fastest car on the lot, and then I'd like you to paint a giant S on the hood of the car." The salesman says, "Ok, that shouldn't be a problem, but why do you want me to paint a giant S on the hood?" And the snail says "Because I want to drive real fast and when people see me I want them to say 'Look at that S car go!!"
A snail walks into a car dealership, and a salesman approaches him. He says to the snail "can I help you out?" The snail says "yes, I'd like to buy the fastest car on the lot, and then I'd like you to paint a giant S on the hood of the car." The salesman says, "Ok, that shouldn't be a problem, but why do you want me to paint a giant S on the hood?" And the snail says "Because I want to drive real fast and when people see me I want them to say 'Look at that S car go!!"
skyraider0609
Lighten up, Francis
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Quasimodo, the hunch backed bell ringer at the Notre Dame cathedral in Paris, had a problem. The rope he had to pull to ring the bells broke one day leaving him wondering how he was going to perform his duty. Knowing the bells had to ring, in a moment of self sacrifice, Quasimodo climbed to the belfry and at the moment the bells were to strike, he runs headlong across the belfry smashing his face into the side of the bell and the sound of the great cathedral's bell sounds over the city. Dazed, he runs back and flings himself in to the bell over and over again. Quasimodo, now dizzy and bloody, makes one more run at the bell but misses and plunges over the side of the belfry, falling to his death. A horrified crowd gathers around his broken and twisted body, murmuring and pointing. One shaken onlooker asks, "Who is that poor, wretched man?" Someone else answers, "I don't know, but his face does ring a bell."
Quasimodo, the hunch backed bell ringer at the Notre Dame cathedral in Paris, had a problem. The rope he had to pull to ring the bells broke one day leaving him wondering how he was going to perform his duty. Knowing the bells had to ring, in a moment of self sacrifice, Quasimodo climbed to the belfry and at the moment the bells were to strike, he runs headlong across the belfry smashing his face into the side of the bell and the sound of the great cathedral's bell sounds over the city. Dazed, he runs back and flings himself in to the bell over and over again. Quasimodo, now dizzy and bloody, makes one more run at the bell but misses and plunges over the side of the belfry, falling to his death. A horrified crowd gathers around his broken and twisted body, murmuring and pointing. One shaken onlooker asks, "Who is that poor, wretched man?" Someone else answers, "I don't know, but his face does ring a bell."
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