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Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

a boy with a wood eye goes to a dance. there is also a girl there with a wooden leg. the boy asks "would you like to dance?" she replies "would I would I!" he responds "peg leg peg leg!"
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Wol4ine said:
There was a shy boy in high school that had lost an eye in a farm accident. The doctors gave him a wood eye but it just didn't appear natural. He was very self-conscious of his fake eye. He was especially depressed about the up coming school dance since he didn't have a date. A week before the dance a new girl enrolled in school. She too was shy, as she had a terrible harelip. A freind of the boy encouraged him to ask the girl to go to the dance with him. "She doesn't have any friends, she would be thankful if you asked her" , "But she won't go with me, I have a wooden eye". That went on for a day or two then eventually his freinds convinced him to ask the girl to the dance. "Hi, I'm Bill. Do you have a date for the dance?" The girl, delighted someone finally approached her, smiled and said,"No, no one has asked me yet". "well, would you like to go with me?" Excitedly she said, "OH!! Wouldn't I!!" "Oh yeah! Well you have a Harelip!!"
Click to expand...
Heh. First joke my mother ever told me, though in her version the girl has a long nose.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

I met a photographer who was smart, energetic, fun to be with, and so I asked her to marry me right away. She said, "let's just take our time and see what develops."

After we broke up, she sighed, and comforted herself with a Disney song: "someday, my prints will come!"
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

I went to the dam man to see if I could get any dam water. But the dam man said, "No you can't have any dam water" so I said "Fine! Keep your dam(n) water!"
 
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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

huskyfan said:
a boy with a wood eye goes to a dance. there is also a girl there with a wooden leg. the boy asks "would you like to dance?" she replies "would I would I!" he responds "peg leg peg leg!"
Click to expand...

I remember from my misspent youth several "R-rated versions of this pun. No way they'd pass the board censor! :D
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Courtesy of George Takei on Facebook:

What does a nosy pepper do?

It gets jalapeño business!
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

What do you do with a sick boat?
Take it to the doc.


What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but saran wrap walked into his office?
I can clearly see you're nut's.
 
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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

A strange thing happened when the firefly backed into a fan....though you'd expect it to be upset, it was de-lighted.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Q: What do you call it when you feed a stick of dynamite to a steer?

A: Abominable! (say it out loud and slow)
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

The aging skiier told me that his health was going downhill fast.

The monkey explained to me that he broke up with his girlfriend because she'd gone bananas.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

I used to work in Toledo, in a department store... I used to work in Toledo, I did but I don't anymore. A lady came in for some candy, we sold that in the store. Kisses she wanted? Kiss her I did! That's why I'm not there anymore.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

FlagDUDE08 said:
I used to work in Toledo, in a department store... I used to work in Toledo, I did but I don't anymore. A lady came in for some candy, we sold that in the store. Kisses she wanted? Kiss her I did! That's why I'm not there anymore.
Click to expand...

at one time I knew about 8 verses to that song....a grocery store, a news room, hmm....what else.
 
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