Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

[owslachief]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

International Talk Like a Pirate Day entry

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel sticking out from under his hat and asks for a cup o grog.

The bartender says, "Do you realize you're wearing a paper towel?"

The pirate responds, "Aye! There's a Bounty on me head!"

 

[wolverineTrumpet]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Yarr...happy talk like a pirate day to all ye landlubbers.

Novice pirates make terrible singers, they can't hit the high seas.

When the pirate captain's ship ran aground, he couldn't fathom why.

The designer wondered why his pirate themed room didn't win, the judge told him he went overboard.

How much does it cost a pirate to get pierced? A buc-an-ear

Cats make terrible pirate, there are too many mewtinies.

 

[MissThundercat]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

You know what seems odd to me? Numbers that aren't divisible by two.

 

[Koho]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

She criticized my apartment so I knocked her flat.

Ray Rice? That you?

 

[joecct]

You know what seems odd to me? Numbers that aren't divisible by two.

Got you primed for a new day?

 

[owslachief]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

And how is today's Yom Kippur service going, Rabbi?

Hmmm, pretty good shofar!

 

[FreshFish]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

why is it the case that female college graduates get bachelors' degrees?

 

[joecct]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

why is it the case that female college graduates get bachelors' degrees?

Because they then qualify for the Masters of Relational Science degree.

 

[owslachief]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

King Arthur's largest knight was Sir Cumference, who became so rotund by having a lot of pi.

 

[FreshFish]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

I miss having the threads lock after 1,000 posts.

I had a great name for the successor to this thread picked out (as you can tell from the way I named this thread):

"Really Terrible Puns Vol 10"

and the first post would have been

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world:
Those that understand binary arithmetic, and those that don't."


Oh, well. So it goes.

 

[MissThundercat]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

I would never try to poison you. Now come here and eat your Pb and jelly sandwich.

 

[owslachief]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

I would never try to poison you. Now come here and eat your Pb and jelly sandwich.

"Yesterday I got food poisoning. I'm just trying to figure out how I'm going to use it."
Steven Wright</span>

 

[MissThundercat]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

What did the scientist say when his sister dropped a beaker on his toe?

OWWW! My toe sis!

 

[joecct]

What did the scientist say when his sister dropped a beaker on his toe?

OWWW! My toe sis!

I hope it wasn't fissionable material.

 

[icehawk]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Why did the nitwit have "urine is yellow" tattooed on the back of his hand?

"So he could tell whether he was coming or going."

 

[MissThundercat]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Where do Jews celebrate Shabbat on the Starship Enterprise?

On the challah deck.

 

[owslachief]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

 

[joecct]

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

A whoosh?

 

[FreshFish]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

There is a "b" in "both" ?


tip of the hat to Lewis Carroll.

 

[huskyfan]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

once you've seen a shopping center, you've seen them mall.