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Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Employee: how about this one?
Psychic: That's too small.
Employee: How can you tell? You haven't tried it on.
Psychic: I'm a medium.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

ShirtlessBob said:
Employee: how about this one?
Psychic: That's too small.
Employee: How can you tell? You haven't tried it on.
Psychic: I'm a medium.
Click to expand...

Did you hear about the midget psychic that escaped from prison?

There's a small medium at large.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

My Chinese-American neighbor was recently honored as "Person of the Year" by the accounts receivable department: "Bill Ng represents everything we stand for" read his plaque.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

With Brexit being a success, what's next? Departugual? Italeave? Byegium? Czechout?

And when all is said and done in the EU, will all that's left be Germlonely? Or is that Remania?
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Monty Python fans will understand this one:

I used to be a knight like you, then I took a shrubbery to the Ni.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

I went to a disco bar, and they weren't playing any 1970's music. At first I was afraid, I was petrified...
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

The church organist was complaining, "someone got dirt all over my Bach music."

the choir director replied, "so, Wachet Auf."
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

From today's Remy Report on FB
Yesterday I went to the Cambridge cemetery to visit the gravesite of my recently departed cousin. She was a great person.

As I was walking back toward my car I noticed a man kneeling at a grave. He was rocking back and forth, crying bitterly as he prayed.

Even sadder, he kept saying over and over, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

It was such a striking scene that I went over to him and said, "Sir, I don't want to interfere with you grief, but this demonstration of anguish is more than I've ever seen. Who is it you mourn for so deeply? A child? A parent?"

The man took a moment, then looked at me with tears rolling down his checks and replied, "My wife's first husband."
Click to expand...
 
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