Question on Recruiting

[ARM]

Re: Question on Recruiting

About 2 months into her freshman year and dealing with this advisor convinced her it wasn't going to work.

No matter what career a person chooses, there will be managers and coworkers that are harder to work with. In comparison, the amount of time spent and the impact of an adviser is relatively small. A lot of college profs can be lacking in people skills, at least initially.

I hope your daughter winds up doing something she truly enjoys.

 

[puck bag]

Re: Question on Recruiting

No matter what career a person chooses, there will be managers and coworkers that are harder to work with. In comparison, the amount of time spent and the impact of an adviser is relatively small. A lot of college profs can be lacking in people skills, at least initially.

I hope your daughter winds up doing something she truly enjoys.

Very true and I hope so too. Although I loved my major I've never put it into practice - after 26 years!

 

[MAOFDJJD]

Re: Question on Recruiting

My daughter is a goalie and is just starting the recruiting process. She has not really spoken to any coaches yet. She has her first meeting next week. My question for anyone who has gone through this process is this.. Is there any specific things she should be look at (beyond the academics - this one school has her major so that is a very good thing). As a goaltender, does the school provide the equipment? Should she ask about playing time as a freshman? Any advice would be helpful. She is very excited. She has a couple of DIII options and a couple of DI.
Thank you

There are a couple of not-so-obvious things to consider when selecting a school. For instance, the food...does the dining hall look appetizing, or does it smell like convalescent mashed potatoes/gravy & overcooked vegetables? Are there more than (1) choice of dining halls and is there any off-campus establishments to eat at? Another thing to consider is off-campus transportation...how do students get to the mall or the movies when they have a moment of spare time. What other activities at the school does the team participate in and does the team take an active role in any volunteer work? Some of these things seem unimportant and like they don't pertain to your child's education, but they do make a difference.

 

[OnMAA]

Re: Question on Recruiting

Another thing to consider is off-campus transportation...how do students get to the mall or the movies when they have a moment of spare time. .

I would pick a school for my D where it is hard to get to the Mall

Seriously though. If you are a Varsity Student and serious about school there can not be that much time left for hanging at the mall. I always maintain, you can only do two things good, not any more. For Varsity students those two things should be their Studies and their Varsity sport. They can go to the mall in the summer when school is out.

 

[MAOFDJJD]

Re: Question on Recruiting

There is the off-season, and SOMETIMES kids do need a break and an occassional trip to the mall on a Sunday afternoon is a little different than "hanging out"...

 

[Hockeydad4two]

Re: Question on Recruiting

My D has found some time for her boy friend. Good thing he's an athlete too. Sounds like most "date nights" however are spent around a table at the old fashion library.

 

[ARM]

Re: Question on Recruiting

Seriously though. If you are a Varsity Student and serious about school there can not be that much time left for hanging at the mall. I always maintain, you can only do two things good, not any more. For Varsity students those two things should be their Studies and their Varsity sport. They can go to the mall in the summer when school is out.

While they may not have much extra time, they are still young adults, and they are going to have the same interests that other young adults do. If they truly had to do zero besides study and play hockey for four years, how many would still want to play hockey? Coaches of many sports, even at a youth level, can be too much of a mind that the player should be just focused on their sport and academics (and in some cases, maybe not even academics) to the exclusion of all else. That isn't healthy. One very prominent ex-Gopher was well known for her fondness for shopping, and she still managed to find the time to do well on the ice and in the classroom. And given they don't have as much time for these diversions, transportation then becomes even more critical.

 

[Hux]

Re: Question on Recruiting

And given they don't have as much time for these diversions, transportation then becomes even more critical.

Hence the popularity of scooters. It has been my experience that "transportation" and "diversions" are never a problem. There are always upperclassmen with the means to travel and the motive to event plan.

 

[videohockey]

Re: Question on Recruiting

While they may not have much extra time, they are still young adults, and they are going to have the same interests that other young adults do. If they truly had to do zero besides study and play hockey for four years, how many would still want to play hockey? Coaches of many sports, even at a youth level, can be too much of a mind that the player should be just focused on their sport and academics (and in some cases, maybe not even academics) to the exclusion of all else. That isn't healthy. One very prominent ex-Gopher was well known for her fondness for shopping, and she still managed to find the time to do well on the ice and in the classroom. And given they don't have as much time for these diversions, transportation then becomes even more critical.

My D is struggling to add a family event (late-announced wedding, she's asked to be MOH) to the hockey/academic mix. She spoke to the coach, who signed off on her having to miss a saturday game (3 weeks away), so plans were made/flights booked/etc.... in an effort to NOT miss any classes, much less Friday's game. Two days later the coach has "changed his mind" and tells her she is letting the team down and that there will be consequences. Huh? She has given up so much for the game (as many of our d's have), and right now I sense a little resentment for hockey as it's "representative" (in this case her coach) is making it difficult.

 

[ARM]

Re: Question on Recruiting

Two days later the coach has "changed his mind" and tells her she is letting the team down and that there will be consequences.

What to do is a question only she can decide. I obviously don't know all of the specifics, but I would probably tell the coach that based on his first answer, I had committed to the couple, and I now feel that I cannot let them down either. I'd say that if there are consequences, I'm willing to accept them, but I feel that this is something that I must do. I'd tell my teammates the same thing, and I'm willing to bet that a wedding holds a special importance to most of them. Then go to the wedding, honor the relationship with the couple, and have a good time. After returning to the team, perform as well as possible to make up for any hypothetical wrong done to teammates.

In general in life, tell people what you are going to do, and tell them why. Most will value your honesty and respect your decisions. Those who try to make you feel guilty for them are usually impossible to please anyway.

 

[notfromaroundhere]

Re: Question on Recruiting

What to do is a question only she can decide. I obviously don't know all of the specifics, but I would probably tell the coach that based on his first answer, I had committed to the couple, and I now feel that I cannot let them down either. I'd say that if there are consequences, I'm willing to accept them, but I feel that this is something that I must do. I'd tell my teammates the same thing, and I'm willing to bet that a wedding holds a special importance to most of them. Then go to the wedding, honor the relationship with the couple, and have a good time. After returning to the team, perform as well as possible to make up for any hypothetical wrong done to teammates.

In general in life, tell people what you are going to do, and tell them why. Most will value your honesty and respect your decisions. Those who try to make you feel guilty for them are usually impossible to please anyway.

Excellent suggestion!

She has her priorities correct. She has family for a lifetime, hockey for a short time.

If coach decides to discuss this in a negative fashion with the team, it will only hurt his relationship with the team. I think young ladies understand the relative importance of a family wedding (especially when MOH duties are involved) and will rally to her and wonder where his priorities are.

Videohockey - wishing both you and your daughter a happy family event!

 

[Hux]

Re: Question on Recruiting

What to do is a question only she can decide. I obviously don't know all of the specifics, but I would probably tell the coach that based on his first answer, I had committed to the couple, and I now feel that I cannot let them down either. I'd say that if there are consequences, I'm willing to accept them, but I feel that this is something that I must do. I'd tell my teammates the same thing, and I'm willing to bet that a wedding holds a special importance to most of them. Then go to the wedding, honor the relationship with the couple, and have a good time. After returning to the team, perform as well as possible to make up for any hypothetical wrong done to teammates.

In general in life, tell people what you are going to do, and tell them why. Most will value your honesty and respect your decisions. Those who try to make you feel guilty for them are usually impossible to please anyway.

Knowing that the event was to take place during the season, and on a game day no less, I would say that she is indeed letting her team down. Commitment seems to be a foreign concept to a lot of today's youth.

That said, the coach signed off, so it is really on him for not appraising her of this in the first place. Now that she has made plans, and especially given that this involves travel and expense on her part, he needs to be understanding and not invoke "consequences."

 

[THE Icemom]

Re: Question on Recruiting

I totally agree with Notfromaroundhere. Family should always come first, school second and hockey (or any other activity) third. Videohockey's daughter should go to this family wedding and not worry about the coaches "consequences". If he does impose consequences, which I doubt he will..I think it is worthless talk, so be it. He will have lost the respect of his players and their parents in the process. I know if it was my daughter and the coach imposed a consequence for attending a family wedding (especially after he ok'd it and travel plans had been made), she would probably whack the neandrothol upside the head with his own club. I guess the next question is if the coach is acting this way, does your daughter want to play for someone like this...someone with little respect for family?

Just my two cents....

 

[ARM]

Re: Question on Recruiting

Commitment seems to be a foreign concept to a lot of today's youth.

This isn't a question of commitment or lack thereof -- it is about balancing commitments. Someone close to her has asked her to be a big part of the biggest day of that person's life. I think she has a commitment there that supersedes the recent one to her hockey team and coach. If it were a funeral, I believe everyone would understand (at least I would hope nobody is quite so clueless.) A wedding is much the same, except the parties to be honored are able to attend. With a wedding, there is usual a Friday night component that it seems she is sacrificing for her team. Hockey is hockey, life is life, and we should all remember the difference.

 

[leswp1]

Re: Question on Recruiting

This isn't a question of commitment or lack thereof -- it is about balancing commitments. Someone close to her has asked her to be a big part of the biggest day of that person's life. I think she has a commitment there that supersedes the recent one to her hockey team and coach. If it were a funeral, I believe everyone would understand (at least I would hope nobody is quite so clueless.) A wedding is much the same, except the parties to be honored are able to attend. With a wedding, there is usual a Friday night component that it seems she is sacrificing for her team. Hockey is hockey, life is life, and we should all remember the difference.

Should have repped this one instead.

 

[D2D]

Re: Question on Recruiting

Should have repped this one instead.

I've been out of reps for ARM a long time ago...

Bottom line is that even if the coach truly believes "hockey is more important than life" he needs to stick by his word. Any "consequences" that are imposed would be the direct result of him not living up to his word. Above all else, a coach needs to be trusted.

 

[videohockey]

Re: Question on Recruiting

Knowing that the event was to take place during the season, and on a game day no less, I would say that she is indeed letting her team down. Commitment seems to be a foreign concept to a lot of today's youth.

That said, the coach signed off, so it is really on him for not appraising her of this in the first place. Now that she has made plans, and especially given that this involves travel and expense on her part, he needs to be understanding and not invoke "consequences."

You missed the part about this being late notice. We all were informed less than 1 week ago. She knew before most of the area family did. There was no clue otherwise. And for the inquiring minds, yes pregnancy is involved, but the relationship between my D and her cousin go beyond the "error in judgement". And yes, believe me, the young couple are being "informed" on how there little "situation" affects others - many others.

 

[videohockey]

Re: Question on Recruiting

BTW, my apologies. I had no intent on derailing this thread to my D's life issues. I know I laid it out there, but I was meant only to contribute to the hockey/academics/life commentaries that had come up.

 

[notfromaroundhere]

Re: Question on Recruiting

BTW, my apologies. I had no intent on derailing this thread to my D's life issues. I know I laid it out there, but I was meant only to contribute to the hockey/academics/life commentaries that had come up.

In many ways this is very topical, because goalies should ask how coaches approach issues that happen during the course of a season. It is always a difficult dance with a limited number of games and how to keep enough goalies available while giving each an appropriate amount of ice to meet expectations.

 

[Justamom]

Re: Question on Recruiting

They must always dress 2 goalies no ifs and or butts, so if you are a goalie and your school only has 2,

well do the math,

If you are playing D1 your ice time is based upon what the coach wants, equal ice or because it is your turn, more tan likely is not going to happen in D1, I know of a few D3 programs that operated that way.

I figured out very quickly that basically from the day my D signed her NLI, she was not mine for 4 years lol

Even summer was limited due to academic needs,

So to the poster with the sudden family event, I feel for you I really do, however as the coach has already agreed to it, the coach needs to stand by that decision, in future though, I suggest that it be understood that leaving during season, and for some even the off season, depenading on the teams requirements for off ice, basically the end of aug - to end of apr, don/'t plan family events of any sort