Dump Term 2 Part 4: Twilight of the Derps

[Kepler]

How it played out:

Based on conversations with Prime Minister Shehbaz Sharif and Field Marshal Asim Munir, of Pakistan, and wherein they requested that I hold off the destructive force being sent tonight to Iran, and subject to the Islamic Republic of Iran agreeing to the COMPLETE, IMMEDIATE, and SAFE OPENING of the Strait of Hormuz, I agree to suspend the bombing and attack of Iran for a period of two weeks. This will be a double sided CEASEFIRE!

The reason for doing so is that we have already met and exceeded all Military objectives, and are very far along with a definitive Agreement concerning Longterm PEACE with Iran, and PEACE in the Middle East.

We received a 10 point proposal from Iran, and believe it is a workable basis on which to negotiate. Almost all of the various points of past contention have been agreed to between the United States and Iran, but a two week period will allow the Agreement to be finalized and consummated. On behalf of the United States of America, as President, and also representing the Countries of the Middle East, it is an Honor to have this Longterm problem close to resolution.

 

[aparch]

Please tell me the Price is Right losing horn sound played on Israeli TV when the cease fire was announced?

 

[ticapnews]

I was in a focus group for a news network when all this went down. The moderator proposed something like this but framed it as an Iranian win. They asked how we could cheer against America (great framing) and I remarked that on the contrary, he's already declared victory four, five, six times now, so just declare victory again and come home. He likes parades. We can have a big parade.

 

[ScoobyDoo]

Ceasefire is not being honored from what I am hearing so it's all BS. I suspect War to break out tomorrow.

 

[ticapnews]

Ceasefire is not being honored from what I am hearing so it's all BS. I suspect War to break out tomorrow.

We've always been at war with Eastasia.