No matter what a coach tells a recruit, the young lady would do well to remember throughout that hockey is a team sport. Coaches want to win, and their first obligation will always be to the team, not the individual. Any assurance made to a pre-college player is an estimate, no matter what coach delivered that estimate. If others work harder and improve more, the player in question can be passed on the depth chart. Should a young player be unable to grasp and execute a system, it will be tough to give her minutes. As Trillium said, a school should be picked in large part by factors outside of hockey. So once at that school and on that team, the more important question to the coach may be, "What do I have to do or improve to get more playing time?" Don't expect life to always be fair, because I will promise you that you will find yourself in situations where it is not. Focusing too much on those times only serves to make one unhappy. Look in the mirror, focus on what you can do, because your actions are the only ones that you control. If you are not playing, then look for every opportunity to be the best teammate that you can be, and take your joy out of the success of the team. That is the role of anyone on a team. If that sounds unbearable, then there are many individual sports in which one can compete.
This link was posted in another thread, but the message is something that is good to always keep in mind. Hockey is not about the individual.
http://bostonherald.com/news_opinio...olympians_play_team_first_not_me_first_hockey