Dad jokes and Bad jokes. One in the same

[Kepler]

 

[MissThundercat]

My roommate got a job as a security guard and was told to watch the office.

He's up to season 6, but doesn't understand what that has to do with security.

 

[LynahFan]

Ooooh - that’s…….dark.

 

[MissThundercat]

Haiku about being an adult:

I am so tired
Where did all my money go?
My back is hurting.

 

[jericho]

I sued the airline that lost my luggage.

i lost my case.

 

[MissThundercat]

Fun fact: A piranha can shred a small child in 30 minutes.
Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.

 

[MissThundercat]

I was watching an Australian cooking show and the audience cheered as the chef made meringue. I was surprised as Australians normally boo meringue.

 

[MissThundercat]

You don't need a parachute to go skydiving.

You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

 

[St. Clown]

man: “Help! Do we have a doctor here?”
woman: “I’m a doctor.”
man: ”What’s your specialty?”
woman: ”Mathematics.”
man: ”My friend’s dying!”
woman: ”Minus one.”

 

[SonofSouthie]

I grew up in Southie on O Street. Had to walk a block to P.

 

[MissThundercat]

I grew up in Southie on O Street. Had to walk a block to P.

You can't hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom because the P is silent.

 

[burd]

Me: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present.

Cop: You ARE the lawyer.

Lawyer: So where's my present?

 

[St. Clown]

I want to open up a store that sells only female dogs and gardening equipment. I could call it Bi+ches & Hoes.

 

[St. Clown]

Never start a fight with a dinosaur. You’ll get jurasskicked.

 

[MissThundercat]

I took up fencing; the neighbors demanded I put it back.

 

[wolverineTrumpet]

I left my job at a shoe disposal plant. It was sole destroying.

 

[MissThundercat]

I left my job at a shoe disposal plant. It was sole destroying.

I had to quit my job crushing pop cans. It was soda pressing.

 

[Kepler]

I got a papercut attempting suicide.

It's a start.

 

[wolverineTrumpet]

If I tell a "dad joke" is it a faux Pa?

 

[Kepler]

If I tell a "dad joke" is it a faux Pa?

Presumably, since You Are Not The Father.