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Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

FadeToBlack&Gold said:
Mercyhurst/Canisus
Click to expand...

have the teams and refs been IN Laurium/Calumet this whole time, since the last game? I have heard something about an increase in alcohol poisoning at the local hospital. Or maybe that was just the doctors. So, basically, they have been living on beer, pasties, nisu and pannukakku? Hope the uniform fit.
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

Mt Washington Final: Michigan Tech vs. Wisconsin

Period 1: Seamus Malone decks Joe Shawan, leading to a fight. Where is Marty? Good question... it appears that he's over with the Tech players NOT fighting with the Wisconsin defenseman, getting head scratches. The fight dies off when Tony Granato pulls Malone away. Was there a game? Krista's scribbles are unclear. After several sloppy passes to nowhere, shots out of the parking lot, etc... Jake Lucchini and Jurusik are seen drinking together. They don't really want to be here, and according to the notes, really want to punch Miss Thundercat in the balls. HA. Miss Thundercat, thanks to something called Spironolactone, has lost all sensitivity to that region. I'll talk to them later. Estradiol makes her want to go Supreme Cranky B-tch on them. They'll be summoned to Holland later. Where was I, oh yes... finally Wisconsin gets on the board when Tarek Baker sets up K'Andre Miller in the slot. Jurusik complains about Miss Thundercat, yet wasn't paying attention. The Commish knew all along that Tech needed to be here. I didn't get any argument from Fade or John J. MacInnes.

Period 2: Dylan Steman wants to go home. Badly. But his team is down 1-0 to Wisconsin, and yet, his team hasn't done anything. While complaining, the puck comes to him. With Lebedeff distracted by Marty, he picks up the puck and fires it into the Wisconsin net, tying the game. Tyler Inomato, the other Wisconsin goon, stands in front of Jurusik and taunts him with some dumb chant. I do know it wasn't your mother was a hamster. While this is happening, Trenton Bliss moves in on Lebedeff, trips on his own skate, and somehow manages to score. Tech has a lead for the first time in this tournament. This is how the period would end.

Period 3: Tech 2, Wisconsin 1. Jurusik has passed the flask around and realized it's empty. He didn't bring a refill. "Oh F-ck!", he screams. While the Tech net minder is wondering about booze, he looks up to see Will Johnson coming in fast. However, Johnson would trip on his skates too, and the puck would skitter away. After a few minutes of nothing, and I mean it, Marty is seen nudging the puck down the "ice." Or what's left of the ice. Players on both sides are afraid of injuring Marty, so they leave him alone. But Marty loses interest in the puck when Alex Smith picks him up. This allows Brian Halonen a chance, and after a shot that bounced off several players... and the boards... and something else (Krista unclear here), it goes in with 2 minutes remaining. Wisconsin would cut the lead to within 1 when Granato threw a decoy puck in from the bench. But with time winding down, Wisconsin couldn't get the equalizer, and moves onto Dover, DE.
 
It feels like the Commish has 14,000 assignments due before Wednesday.

She still needs to write the final from the UP, and the Futile Four.

I will do what I can before Sunday.
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

MissThundercat said:
Mt Washington Final: Michigan Tech vs. Wisconsin

Period 1: Seamus Malone decks Joe Shawan, leading to a fight. Where is Marty? Good question... it appears that he's over with the Tech players NOT fighting with the Wisconsin defenseman, getting head scratches. The fight dies off when Tony Granato pulls Malone away. Was there a game? Krista's scribbles are unclear. After several sloppy passes to nowhere, shots out of the parking lot, etc... Jake Lucchini and Jurusik are seen drinking together. They don't really want to be here, and according to the notes, really want to punch Miss Thundercat in the balls. HA. Miss Thundercat, thanks to something called Spironolactone, has lost all sensitivity to that region. I'll talk to them later. Estradiol makes her want to go Supreme Cranky B-tch on them. They'll be summoned to Holland later. Where was I, oh yes... finally Wisconsin gets on the board when Tarek Baker sets up K'Andre Miller in the slot. Jurusik complains about Miss Thundercat, yet wasn't paying attention. The Commish knew all along that Tech needed to be here. I didn't get any argument from Fade or John J. MacInnes.

Period 2: Dylan Steman wants to go home. Badly. But his team is down 1-0 to Wisconsin, and yet, his team hasn't done anything. While complaining, the puck comes to him. With Lebedeff distracted by Marty, he picks up the puck and fires it into the Wisconsin net, tying the game. Tyler Inomato, the other Wisconsin goon, stands in front of Jurusik and taunts him with some dumb chant. I do know it wasn't your mother was a hamster. While this is happening, Trenton Bliss moves in on Lebedeff, trips on his own skate, and somehow manages to score. Tech has a lead for the first time in this tournament. This is how the period would end.

Period 3: Tech 2, Wisconsin 1. Jurusik has passed the flask around and realized it's empty. He didn't bring a refill. "Oh F-ck!", he screams. While the Tech net minder is wondering about booze, he looks up to see Will Johnson coming in fast. However, Johnson would trip on his skates too, and the puck would skitter away. After a few minutes of nothing, and I mean it, Marty is seen nudging the puck down the "ice." Or what's left of the ice. Players on both sides are afraid of injuring Marty, so they leave him alone. But Marty loses interest in the puck when Alex Smith picks him up. This allows Brian Halonen a chance, and after a shot that bounced off several players... and the boards... and something else (Krista unclear here), it goes in with 2 minutes remaining. Wisconsin would cut the lead to within 1 when Granato threw a decoy puck in from the bench. But with time winding down, Wisconsin couldn't get the equalizer, and moves onto Dover, DE.
Click to expand...

Dang, I thought you would send Tech all the way to the Chumpionship and then have us win so that we wouldn't be the kings of the BFB. :p
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

Regional Final, Laurium, MI: The Canisius Peter Griffins vs. Mercyhurst Lakers (what kind of name is that?)

For some reason, the Commish found herself in the office at 6 AM this morning, and realized that her pigeon to the UP finally made it back on the final from there. She's had two cups of Death Wish Coffee, and she's a little spry this morning.

Period 1: Josh Lammon and Nick Hutchison start fighting before face off, and instead of a fight, it looks like they're hugging. It's okay for men to hug, but we need to get moving. When one of our intoxicated local referees finally drops the puck, Austin Alger passes to Dylan McLaughlin, who gets run over by Taylor Best. What is Best doing? It looks like he's setting up for the People's Elbow. He doesn't succeed, tripping over his intended victim on the first pass. This leads to more fighting when Jimmy Mazza pulls Best up and lands a few rights. The refs do not care, and while the fighting goes on, Matt Hoover sees an opening and puts one past Cantali. Later in the period, Dylan McLaughlin would bounce the puck off the glass, off Cantali's back, and in to make it 2-0 Canisius. That's how the period would end.

Period 2: The refs, still drunk, bring out more booze. What would you do if your town was going nowhere? Anyway, the refs passed the beer around, and Blake Weyrick took a few cans back to his net. Who needs Gatorade? As Weyrick was enjoying a cold one, Dalton Hunter skates up and casually pokes the puck past the Canisius net minder to cut the lead in half. A few minutes later, as Weyrick was drinking another beer, Derek Barach skates up to him. Barach picks up the puck, plays a game of keep away, and when Weyrick flinches, the puck gets thrown in and the game is tied. On the other end, Cantali's built several little snow men... do you honestly think we could AFFORD a Zamboni? Nina is unclear on this, but we think we saw the Mercyhurst goalie practicing ballet while all the action was happening on the other end. Just before the period ended, Dylan McLaughlin has finally righted himself, and when Matthew Whittaker loses the puck on bad ice, McLaughlin runs right through Cantali's snowmen to give Canisius the lead once more. The period would end with the Peter Griffins on top 3-2.

Period 3: Refs are blitz drunk at this point. After a few minutes pass in the third, Steven Ipri thinks he has a goal, but Jim Whiffenhoffer, a local ref, dives in front of the puck to stop it. Ipri is mad, and chops at the ref's legs. That's gonna leave a mark. Lammon drags the ref out of the way, and Ipri finally scores. Weyrick is drunk, but functional. Tie game. The game would go back and forth, with both teams having chances, but no one scoring. Finally, with both teams executing the trap, and with 30 seconds remaining... Rick Gotkin would give Mitchell Martan a puck, and Martan would casually lay it in the net with 1 second left. Mercyhurst wins 4-3, sending Canisius to Dover.
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

Futile Four is Set:

Merrimack vs. Michigan State
Canisius vs. Wisconsin

I have course work to do tonight, so I'll try to get one of those up tonight.
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

Guy Fieri is in Dover with everyone, drinking Hamm's and having fun. So many selfies!

The Commish has met him, thanked him for his support of the LGBT community, and has admitted that he's a better "between the benches" reporter than Pierre McGuire.
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

Fade, John J. MacInnes... I met with organizers, and the batteries have been taken out of the carbon monoxide detector. Current levels aren't toxic, no, but I was hoping for some adventure when I got here.

Reports indicate that no one's gotten sick on Guy's cooking yet... bummer.
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

Guy's XXX Smokin' Hot Wings didn't do the trick? D@mn! Hopefully he busted out the Mac-Daddi-Roni Salad.
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

MissThundercat said:
Fade, John J. MacInnes... I met with organizers, and the batteries have been taken out of the carbon monoxide detector. Current levels aren't toxic, no, but I was hoping for some adventure when I got here.

Reports indicate that no one's gotten sick on Guy's cooking yet... bummer.
Click to expand...

You've been duped. Just because the detector isn't working doesn't mean there's no CO in the air. That's all to create the false sense of security that the problem had been solved.
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

You think we can afford the latest in CO detection? Pfft! Even without batteries, our detector is obviously 20 years old.
 
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