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20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

French Rage said:
- But what about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say, "Die Bart, Die?"
- No, that's German for "The Bart, The."
Click to expand...

Ya, I always screw it up. So I'll try to make up for it with:

Mr. Simpson how do you respond to the latest statistics that indicate while petty vandalism is down 15%, heavy sack beatings are up a whopping 900%.

Well Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes.

Well then, touche.
 
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Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Marge: President Clinton?
Clinton: Yeah, hi. I'm here to see Lisa Simpson.
Lisa: [gasps] You read my letter?
Clinton: Much of it, yeah. And those glow sticks were wrong, very wrong, so I personally overturned the results of that band contest. Congratulations. [hands Lisa a plaque]
Lisa: [gasps] Thank you, Mr. President.
Clinton: No, thank you, Lisa, for teaching kids everywhere a valuable lesson: If things don't go your way, just keep complaining until your dreams come true.
Marge: That's a pretty lousy lesson.
Clinton: Hey, I'm a pretty lousy president.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Abortions for some. Minature American flags for others.

The politics of failure have failed. We need to make them work again.

My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball, but
tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward, upward not forward,
and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Kent Brockman from Camp Krusty: " Ladies and gentlemen, I've been to Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together."
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Teacher - Wait a minute! You didn't learn how WWII ended (kids all turn around)
Teacher - We won!
Kids - Yay! USA! USA! USA!
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Homer : (Putting on Henry Kissinger's glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.
Man : That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer : D'oh!
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

When Homer was elected Sanitation Commissioner.

Aw, c'mon, just because we had a tough campaign, doesn't mean we can't be friends.

FRIENDS?!?! Homer, you told people I was trying to lure kids into my ginger bread house deep in the woods!
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Nelson: Hey Simpson, I hear your sister dumped Christianity!
Bart: Who cares?
Dolph: I'll tell you someone who cares. He's got long hair, works as a carpenter, has a lot of crazy ideas about love and brotherhood!
Jimbo: His name's Gunner and he's dating my mom. Sometimes he buys us beer.
Bart: I thought Kearney was dating your mom.
Kearney: Hey, she came on to me. (The bullies -- and Bart -- pummel Kearney)
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Nice coincidence: the Scorpio episode was on when I turned the TV on just now. :)
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

You just don't understand football, Marge.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Burns to Homer, "You sold weapons-grade plutonium to the Iraqis.....WITH NO MARK-UP!"

And you must find the jade monkey by the next full moon.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Your nothing is no match for our puny weapons.

Ahhh....he's got a board with a nail in it!!
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Kent Brockman: "A new mood is in the air in Springfield, as refreshing as a pre-moistened towelette. Folks are finally accepting their feelings, and really communicating, with no holding back. And this reporter thinks it's about f$cking time."
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Bart: "For once Dad's butt prevented the release of noxious-"
Marge: "Bart!"
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

You have selected regicide. If you know the name of the king or queen about to be murdered, please press one now.
 
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