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20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes
- Thread starter UNH '00
- Start date
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes
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Slap Shot
I got nothing
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MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes
Marge: I don't like these high-risk ventures. They're too risky.
Ned: Calm down, Neddly diddily diddily diddily, doodily. They did
their best shodaiddily iddily iddily diddily diddily. Gotta be
nice, hostidididildilidilly ah HELL diddily ding dong crap!
Can't you morons do anything RIGHT!?
[shocked gasps]
Marge: Ned! We meant well, and everyone here tried their best.
Ned: Well my family and I can't live in good intentions, Marge! Oh,
your family's out of control, but we can't blame you, because
you have gooooooooood intentions!
Bart: Hey! Back off, man!
Ned: Ooh okay, duuuuude! I wouldn't want you to have a cow, maaaan!
Here's a catch-phrase you better learn for your adult years:
"Hey, Buddy, got a quarter?"
[everyone gasps]
Bart: I am shocked and appalled.
Lisa: Mr. Flanders, with all due respect, Bart didn't do anything.
Ned: Do I hear the sound of butting in? It's gotta be little Lisa
Simpson! Springfield's answer to a question NO ONE ASKED!
[Wiggum laughs]
What do we have here? The long, flabby arm of the law! The
last case you got to the bottom of was a case of mallowmars!!
Krusty: [writing it down] Mallowmars, oh that's going in the act!
Ned: Oh, yeah. The clown, the only one of you buffoons who doesn't
make me laugh! [to Lenny] And as for you, I don't know you but
I'm sure you're a jerk!
Lenny: Hey, I've only been here a few minutes! What's going on?
Ned: [to Moe] You ugly, hate-filled man!
Moe: Hey, hey, I may be ugly and hate-filled, but I... um, what was
the third thing you said?
[everyone backs away as Ned marches after Homer lastly]
Ned: Homer, you are the worst human being I have ever met.
Homer: Hey, I got off pretty easy.
Marge: I don't like these high-risk ventures. They're too risky.
Ned: Calm down, Neddly diddily diddily diddily, doodily. They did
their best shodaiddily iddily iddily diddily diddily. Gotta be
nice, hostidididildilidilly ah HELL diddily ding dong crap!
Can't you morons do anything RIGHT!?
[shocked gasps]
Marge: Ned! We meant well, and everyone here tried their best.
Ned: Well my family and I can't live in good intentions, Marge! Oh,
your family's out of control, but we can't blame you, because
you have gooooooooood intentions!
Bart: Hey! Back off, man!
Ned: Ooh okay, duuuuude! I wouldn't want you to have a cow, maaaan!
Here's a catch-phrase you better learn for your adult years:
"Hey, Buddy, got a quarter?"
[everyone gasps]
Bart: I am shocked and appalled.
Lisa: Mr. Flanders, with all due respect, Bart didn't do anything.
Ned: Do I hear the sound of butting in? It's gotta be little Lisa
Simpson! Springfield's answer to a question NO ONE ASKED!
[Wiggum laughs]
What do we have here? The long, flabby arm of the law! The
last case you got to the bottom of was a case of mallowmars!!
Krusty: [writing it down] Mallowmars, oh that's going in the act!
Ned: Oh, yeah. The clown, the only one of you buffoons who doesn't
make me laugh! [to Lenny] And as for you, I don't know you but
I'm sure you're a jerk!
Lenny: Hey, I've only been here a few minutes! What's going on?
Ned: [to Moe] You ugly, hate-filled man!
Moe: Hey, hey, I may be ugly and hate-filled, but I... um, what was
the third thing you said?
[everyone backs away as Ned marches after Homer lastly]
Ned: Homer, you are the worst human being I have ever met.
Homer: Hey, I got off pretty easy.
johnnypohlfan
New member
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes
Homer: Moe, I need your advice... See I've got this friend named Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo.
Moe: That's the worst name I've ever heard.
Guy: (Runs out of the bar, crying)
Barney: Hey! Joey Joe Joe!
Homer: Moe, I need your advice... See I've got this friend named Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo.
Moe: That's the worst name I've ever heard.
Guy: (Runs out of the bar, crying)
Barney: Hey! Joey Joe Joe!
MountieBoyOz
Eater of Worlds
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes
After a performance by The Ramones:
Mr. Burns: Have The Rolling Stones killed.
Smithers: But sir...
Mr. Burns: Do as I say!
After a performance by The Ramones:
Mr. Burns: Have The Rolling Stones killed.
Smithers: But sir...
Mr. Burns: Do as I say!
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes
From the episode where Homer saves the power plant from a meltdown...
Burns: I guess there's nothing else to do now but kiss my *** goodbye.
Smithers: I just wanted to say I love you, sir.
Burns: Well thank you for making my last few moments on Earth socially awkward.
From the episode where Homer saves the power plant from a meltdown...
Burns: I guess there's nothing else to do now but kiss my *** goodbye.
Smithers: I just wanted to say I love you, sir.
Burns: Well thank you for making my last few moments on Earth socially awkward.
Jon
Say, this is nice.
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes
I don't care if this was posted earlier...
We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say.
Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
I don't care if this was posted earlier...
We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say.
Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
ExileOnDaytonStreet
Drunkard
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes
This whole mission is as useless as that yellow, lemon-shaped rock over there.
Hey, there's a lemon behind that rock!
This whole mission is as useless as that yellow, lemon-shaped rock over there.
Hey, there's a lemon behind that rock!
NUJerseyJohn
I like math.
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes
Abe: You're living in a fool's paradise VanHouten! If you fell down in the shower that thing would be your tomb!
...
Abe: Now, my story begins in 19-dickety-two. We had to say "dickety" 'cause that Kaiser had stolen our word "twenty". I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles...
Martin: "Dickety"? Highly dubious!
Abe: What're you cackling at, fatty? Too much pie, that's your problem! Now, I'd like to digress from my prepared remarks to discuss how I invented the terlet.
Mrs.K: "Terlet"? Hah!
Abe: Stop your snickerin'! I spent three years on that terlet!
Abe: You're living in a fool's paradise VanHouten! If you fell down in the shower that thing would be your tomb!
...
Abe: Now, my story begins in 19-dickety-two. We had to say "dickety" 'cause that Kaiser had stolen our word "twenty". I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles...
Martin: "Dickety"? Highly dubious!
Abe: What're you cackling at, fatty? Too much pie, that's your problem! Now, I'd like to digress from my prepared remarks to discuss how I invented the terlet.
Mrs.K: "Terlet"? Hah!
Abe: Stop your snickerin'! I spent three years on that terlet!
MountieBoyOz
Eater of Worlds
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes
Bart: So to win Greta back, I have to go to Toronto.
Homer: Canada? Why should we leave America to visit America Junior?
Bart: So to win Greta back, I have to go to Toronto.
Homer: Canada? Why should we leave America to visit America Junior?
ExileOnDaytonStreet
Drunkard
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes
[Bart's looking for his dog]
Willy: Yeah, I bought your mutt - and I 'ate 'im.
[Bart gasps]
Willy: I 'ate 'is little face, I 'ate 'is guts, and I 'ate the way 'e's always barkin'. So I gave 'im to the church.
Bart: Ohhh, I see... you HATE him, so you gave him to the church.
Willy: Aye. I also 'ate the mess he left on me rug.
[Bart stares]
Willy: Ya heard me.
[Bart's looking for his dog]
Willy: Yeah, I bought your mutt - and I 'ate 'im.
[Bart gasps]
Willy: I 'ate 'is little face, I 'ate 'is guts, and I 'ate the way 'e's always barkin'. So I gave 'im to the church.
Bart: Ohhh, I see... you HATE him, so you gave him to the church.
Willy: Aye. I also 'ate the mess he left on me rug.
[Bart stares]
Willy: Ya heard me.
ExileOnDaytonStreet
Drunkard
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes
Kent Brockman at the St. Patrick's Day Parade: "Top o' the mornin' to ye on this gray, drizzly afternoon. Kent O' Brockman live on Main Street, where today, everyone is a little bit Irish! Everyone except, of course, for the gays and Italians."
Grandpa: "Big deal! When I was a pup, we got spanked by presidents 'til the cows came home! Grover Cleveland spanked me on two non-consecutive occasions!"
Kent Brockman at the St. Patrick's Day Parade: "Top o' the mornin' to ye on this gray, drizzly afternoon. Kent O' Brockman live on Main Street, where today, everyone is a little bit Irish! Everyone except, of course, for the gays and Italians."
Grandpa: "Big deal! When I was a pup, we got spanked by presidents 'til the cows came home! Grover Cleveland spanked me on two non-consecutive occasions!"
ExileOnDaytonStreet
Drunkard
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes
Kent: With our utter annihilation imminent, our federal government has snapped into action. We go live now via satellite to the floor of the United States congress.
Speaker: Then it is unanimous, we are going to approve the bill to evacuate the town of Springfield in the great state of --
Congressman: Wait a minute, I want to tack on a rider to that bill: $30 million of taxpayer money to support the perverted arts.
Speaker: All in favor of the amended Springfield-slash-pervert bill? [everyone boos]
Speaker: Bill defeated. [bangs gavel]
Kent: I've said it before and I'll say it again: democracy simply doesn't work.
Kent: With our utter annihilation imminent, our federal government has snapped into action. We go live now via satellite to the floor of the United States congress.
Speaker: Then it is unanimous, we are going to approve the bill to evacuate the town of Springfield in the great state of --
Congressman: Wait a minute, I want to tack on a rider to that bill: $30 million of taxpayer money to support the perverted arts.
Speaker: All in favor of the amended Springfield-slash-pervert bill? [everyone boos]
Speaker: Bill defeated. [bangs gavel]
Kent: I've said it before and I'll say it again: democracy simply doesn't work.
RaceBoarder
Waiting for the Snow to fly...
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes
Hank Scorpio: Uh, hi, Homer. What can I do for you?
Homer: Sir, I need to know where I can get some business hammocks.
Hank Scorpio: Hammocks? My goodness, what an idea. Why didn't I think of that? Hammocks! Homer, there's four places. There's the Hammock Hut, that's on third.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Hank Scorpio: There's Hammocks-R-Us, that's on third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There.
Homer: Mm-Hmm.
Hank Scorpio: That's on third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot... Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex; it's the hammock complex on third.
Homer: Oh, the hammock district!
Hank Scorpio: That's right.
Hank Scorpio: Uh, hi, Homer. What can I do for you?
Homer: Sir, I need to know where I can get some business hammocks.
Hank Scorpio: Hammocks? My goodness, what an idea. Why didn't I think of that? Hammocks! Homer, there's four places. There's the Hammock Hut, that's on third.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Hank Scorpio: There's Hammocks-R-Us, that's on third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There.
Homer: Mm-Hmm.
Hank Scorpio: That's on third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot... Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex; it's the hammock complex on third.
Homer: Oh, the hammock district!
Hank Scorpio: That's right.