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20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

ExileOnDaytonStreet said:
Kent Brockman at the St. Patrick's Day Parade: "Top o' the mornin' to ye on this gray, drizzly afternoon. Kent O' Brockman live on Main Street, where today, everyone is a little bit Irish! Everyone except, of course, for the gays and Italians."
Click to expand...

"Freeze you filthy Eye-talians....oh that's right, filthy Eye-talian-Amercians."
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

RaceBoarder said:
Hank Scorpio: Uh, hi, Homer. What can I do for you?
Homer: Sir, I need to know where I can get some business hammocks.
Hank Scorpio: Hammocks? My goodness, what an idea. Why didn't I think of that? Hammocks! Homer, there's four places. There's the Hammock Hut, that's on third.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Hank Scorpio: There's Hammocks-R-Us, that's on third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There.
Homer: Mm-Hmm.
Hank Scorpio: That's on third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot... Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex; it's the hammock complex on third.
Homer: Oh, the hammock district!
Hank Scorpio: That's right.
Click to expand...

One of the best. The closing theme, to the tune of "Goldfinger":

Scorpio!
He'll sting you with his dreams of power and wealth.
Beware of Scorpio!
His twisted twin obsessions are his plot to rule the world
And his employees' health.
He'll welcome you into his lair,
Like the nobleman welcomes his guest.
With free dental care and a stock plan that helps you invest!
But beware of his generous pensions,
Plus three weeks paid vacation each year,
And on Fridays the lunchroom serves hot dogs and burgers and beer!
He loves German beer!
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Rover said:
From the episode where Homer saves the power plant from a meltdown...

Burns: I guess there's nothing else to do now but kiss my *** goodbye.

Smithers: I just wanted to say I love you, sir.

Burns: Well thank you for making my last few moments on Earth socially awkward.
Click to expand...

from homer kong (halloween episode)

Mr. Burns: [about bringing Marge along on their voyage] What do you think, Smithers?
Smithers: I think women and sea men don't mix, sir.
Mr. Burns: We all know what you think.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Marge, your pro-mop anti-horse agenda has been clear for some time now

Miss Hoover: this is nothing but dead white-male bashing from a PC thug. It's women like you that keep the rest of us from landing a husband!!

you've got to hand it to those dolphins, they just wanted it more
 
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Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

(early Simpsons)
Burns: Make yourselves at home
Bart: Here that, dad? You can lie around in your underwear and scratch yourself.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Mr. Burns:No muscle is stronger than the human heart.
Homer: What about the wiener? Some guy on tv lifted a paint can with his.

After reading Hamlet,
Lisa: And that's the greatest thing ever written
Bart: Are you crazy? I can't believe a play where every character was murdered could be so boring.
Homer: Son, it's not only a great play, but also became a great movie, called... Ghostbusters! (GB theme breaks out, everyone begins to dance)
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Marge we're out of chocolate, strawberry and vanilla ice cream!!

Goons.
Who?
Hired goons.

You know Mr. Burns if you want to see me, you just have to call, you don't need to send hired goons.
I know, but a telephone call just doesn't have the same personal touch that you only get from hired goons.


Everybody's dumb except for me.

But your card says you work on contingency, no money down
Oh I'm sorry that's a typo: Contingency? No! Money Down!!

Oh no, not to Gill, not today.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Homer: "Anything that takes twelve steps isn't worth doing"

Homer: "trying is the first step towards failure"
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Marge: It benefits victims of balcony collapse.
Bart: We can wipe out B.C. in our lifetime.
Homer: I don't CARE about B.C..... I care about M.E.... MY ENJOYMENT!
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Kent Brockman: "Thanks Mayor Simpson! From now on we'll all be taking golden showers!"
(laughing)
Kent Brockman: "What?"

Kent Brockman: "Well sir, 'treason season' has started early this year as nuclear sub was hijacked by local man Homer Simpson"
(file photo shows Homer in traditional Russian clothing, dancing)
Lisa: "I told him that photo would come back to haunt him"
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Mr. Simpson, state laws prohibit me from promising you a large cash settlement, but off the record, I promise you a large cash settlement.

Mr. Simpson this is the worst case of false advertising since my suit against the makers of the Never Ending Story.

Mr. Dole, Mr. Clinton our polls tell us that people are little concerned about the way you are always holding hands in public.
Well if you know a better way of exchanging long protein strands, I'd like to hear about it.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Homer: Teamsters.....so lazy and surly.

Homer: 64 slices of American cheese. 64...nomnomnom.....63....nomnomnom
(later)
2....nomnomnom.....1.....nomnomnom.......ohhhhh.
Marge: Homer, have you been up all night eating cheese again?
Homer: Nooooo......
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Plante26 said:
Homer: Teamsters.....so lazy and surly.

Homer: 64 slices of American cheese. 64...nomnomnom.....63....nomnomnom
(later)
2....nomnomnom.....1.....nomnomnom.......ohhhhh.
Marge: Homer, have you been up all night eating cheese again?
Homer: I think I'm blind.
Click to expand...

Fixed.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Nelson - You wrecked Hitler's car! What did he ever do to you?
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Sloe Gin said:
Nelson - You wrecked Hitler's car! What did he ever do to you?
Click to expand...

But isn't it true that you have a tatoo that says Die Bart Die.
No, no, no, it says Dee Bart Dee, it's German for Live Bart Live.

Well no-one who speaks German could possibly be evil.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

gounhwildcats said:
But isn't it true that you have a tatoo that says Die Bart Die.
No, no, no, it says Dee Bart Dee, it's German for Live Bart Live.

Well no-one who speaks German could possibly be evil.
Click to expand...

- But what about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say, "Die Bart, Die?"
- No, that's German for "The Bart, The."
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Tom Brokaw, describing the latest fun-loving bunch of NASA astronauts: "There's a mathematician, a different kind of mathematician, and a statistician."

and my favorite Simpsons musical moment:

We are the mediocre presidents. You won't find our faces on dollars or on cents! There's Taylor, there's Tyler, There's Fillmore and there's Hayes. There's William Henry Harrison, "I died in thirty days!" We are the adequate, forgettable, occasionally regrettable, caretaker presidents of the U-S-A!
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Milhouse - I spy with my little eye something that begins with D
Nelson - Dingus! (hits Milhouse in the head)
Homer - God bless you Nelson Muntz
Nelson - I'm no hero. I just like hitting people in the head
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Burns: "Smithers, we're at war!"
Smithers: "I'll start profiteering, sir."
Burns: "And hoarding! Leave it to the Democrats to let the Spaniards back in the pantry."

Marge: "Who's Muntu?"
Kitenge: "He is our leader, he seized power in a bloodless coup. All smothering."
Marge: "Just like Jimmy Carter!"

(A rhino hatches from an egg)
Lisa: "Wait, rhinos don't come from eggs!"
Homer: "What did you just see, Lisa?"

Homer: "This perpetual motion machine she made today is a joke! It just keeps going faster and faster! ... In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"
 
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