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She Who Must Be Obeyed

Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed

I don’t know what to say to her.

You don't say anything. This is one of those times when your opinion is not being sought and it is not your place to set her right. This is a politically sensitive topic and the bottom line is you're a member of the dominant group so you have to shut up and listen but not respond. You don't have to lie -- you don't have to agree -- but it helps nothing to voice an opinion that is contrary to the au currant ideology. That opinion will be interpreted as, at best, naive obliviousness to the problem -- and you will have been very, very lucky if it's not interpreted as more malicious than that.

Think of it this way: you understand you benefited from your gender and race in a million ways. Those benefits accrue every day and night, even as you sleep. People without those unearned advantages are p-ssed off, and they ought to be. It isn't your fault and they shouldn't blame you, personally, but it's human nature to do so. They will probably believe and say many things that are reasonable and a few things that are a crock. But there is no practical advantage in walking into that hornet's nest. It will pass -- in another few generations as people do in fact treat the genders and the races equally, those future people will bury not just the bigotries and condescension but also the knee-jerk reactions and over-generalizations. We aren't there yet. Suck it up and remember that it is still winning the privilege lottery to be a western white male.
 
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Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed

Plus Europe is sexist AF.

That works out well for the plant managers, since they don't have to worry about encountering qualified female candidates, since academia and internships weeded them all out well before they graduate from university. So they get to smugly say they pick the best candidate without ever bothering to wonder why the best candidates always just happen to look like themselves.
 
Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed

I'm with Kep. You just let her rant and let it go.

As far as the pregnancy thing, be very careful. The laws vary by state, but pregnancy is a protected class in most to varying degrees. And not just in a "you must give maternity leave" manner. For instance, Iowa expects you (the employer) to bend over backwards to accommodate pregnancy related issues.

And as far as pregnancy being a choice, yes it is. But society can still have an overarching policy to encourage it since, you know, it's necessary to the survival of the species. And again, like abortion it's probably something to defer to women on since it only directly affects them.
 
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Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed

Mookie appreciates that you ask these questions since you are not yet married :)

I must have a strange wife. (OK, I'll wait...)

Dr. Mrs. and I can talk about this stuff freely and openly even though she has very strong opinions about them. She will get p-ssed off sometimes when I don't seem to be paying sufficient respect to her (objectively) significantly greater education on gender. (We have a continuing battle as to whether the world as academics see it is passively discovered or actively created through their tools and mindset.)

But on the whole... she's pretty f-cking rational.

The frequency of stories to the contrary from married guys (per my friend the UPenn neurology student: "it's not a functioning brain in women, it's just a tangle of neurons") I either got really lucky or I've been doing some amazing self-selection, because every one of my GFs has been rational.

I mean, there is another explanation...
 
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Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed

English lesson for girl this morning.....

Shippers are coming so mookie moves the cars. Girl drives a stick. Mookie can’t drive a stick.

Mookie moves both cars from driveway to street this morning.

Girl is yelling cause mookie moves stick from driveway to street.... “you told me you can’t drive a stick!!”

- mookie can’t

“But it’s in the street”

-that’s not driving. That’s moving. Mookie can operate a stick, but can’t drive it

“What???”

:D
 
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Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed

-that’s not driving. That’s moving. Mookie can’t operate a stick, but can’t drive it

“What???”

:D
Yeah, you lost me there, Nancy.

First, you can't drive a manual transmission, but then you throw out that sentence that not only contradicts what you said earlier, but contradicts itself. Did you eat paint chips as a child?
 
Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed

English lesson for girl this morning.....

Shippers are coming so mookie moves the cars. Girl drives a stick. Mookie can’t drive a stick.

Mookie moves both cars from driveway to street this morning.

Girl is yelling cause mookie moves stick from driveway to street.... “you told me you can’t drive a stick!!”

- mookie can’t

“But it’s in the street”

-that’s not driving. That’s moving. Mookie can’t operate a stick, but can’t drive it

“What???”

:D

I could pick up my daughter from the school 2 miles away in Dr. Mrs.' standard hooptie. That doesn't mean I can drive a stick.

BTW, it really sucks when 4th graders laugh at your driving. And you deserve it.
 
Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed

How do people not know how to drive stick?! Especially those of you (mook, Kep) who are...of a certain age?
 
Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed

How do people not know how to drive stick?! Especially those of you (mook, Kep) who are...of a certain age?

I had never met a person who could drive stick until I moved west when I was 35.*

Christ, it's not like I grew up in the 1940s...

The only people who drive stick on the Acela corridor are as-sholes who own, or want to own, performance sports cars, or the Poors who have hoopties. The rest of us are automatic trans cradle to grave. Stick is a deprecated technology unless you drive F-1.

* I have a non-trivial number of friends from NYC who never learned to drive. There was simply no point for them.
 
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Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed

I had never met a person who could drive stick until I moved west when I was 35.*

Christ, it's not like I grew up in the 1940s...

The only people who drive stick on the Acela corridor are as-sholes who own, or want to own, performance sports cars, or the Poors who have hoopties. The rest of us are automatic trans cradle to grave. Stick is a deprecated technology unless you drive F-1.

* I have a non-trivial number of friends from NYC who never learned to drive. There was simply no point for them.

The only reason we have automatic transmission is to grant permission to drive to those of limited manual dexterity. Manual transmission is the far superior technology. Much better fuel mileage, easier on the brakes, you don't have transmission fluid that you're constantly changing or filling. Plus, you never have to worry about it being stolen because almost no one knows how to drive them anymore. I've driven stick shift vehicles for close to 50 years and still own one today.

Unfortunately, physical dexterity skills are deteriorating in the human race at an ever increasing rate, thus the need to develop cars in which the "driver" doesn't have to do anything at all except hoist his azz into the seat.
 
Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed

Shorter SJHovey: "ballpoint pens are for inferior people who can't whittle their own nibs."
 
I had never met a person who could drive stick until I moved west when I was 35.*

Christ, it's not like I grew up in the 1940s...

The only people who drive stick on the Acela corridor are as-sholes who own, or want to own, performance sports cars, or the Poors who have hoopties. The rest of us are automatic trans cradle to grave. Stick is a deprecated technology unless you drive F-1.

* I have a non-trivial number of friends from NYC who never learned to drive. There was simply no point for them.
I can actually understand the not learning to drive more than learning to drive, but only automatic. I, too, have several friends from metro areas (Boston and NYC) who have never learned or learned in their mid- to late 30s.

I grew up in rural PA and just assumed that everyone learned. Not necessarily because their family had a stick, but because either a friend did (rural friends) or because they went to Europe in the summer (Prep school friends). Both my parents (also not born in the 40s) also drive stick.

Not a dig on you, Kep. I'm always surprised to come across someone over 35 who doesn't know how. Younger than that, I'm not surprised since availability these days is ever shrinking. (My newest car, purchased this year, is a stick, but I was limited as to which models I could buy from this conpany if I wanted manual transmission).
 
Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed

I can actually understand the not learning to drive more than learning to drive, but only automatic. I, too, have several friends from metro areas (Boston and NYC) who have never learned or learned in their mid- to late 30s.

I grew up in rural PA and just assumed that everyone learned. Not necessarily because their family had a stick, but because either a friend did (rural friends) or because they went to Europe in the summer (Prep school friends). Both my parents (also not born in the 40s) also drive stick.

Not a dig on you, Kep. I'm always surprised to come across someone over 35 who doesn't know how. Younger than that, I'm not surprised since availability these days is ever shrinking. (My newest car, purchased this year, is a stick, but I was limited as to which models I could buy from this conpany if I wanted manual transmission).

I was surprised at first when I moved to the West that everybody drives stick there. It would make zero sense in the northeastern cities' start-stop traffic. But in the West it makes perfect sense to drive stick -- you have far more control, it's more fun, and you get better mileage.

I wish I'd learned -- I just never had any incentive, like 98% of the people I grew up with.

I have had several GFs who tried to teach me, including Dr. Mrs. That didn't work for anybody. I love driving, and we plan to retire to the West, so once we're settled there I'll probably just get an instructor and pick it up in a couple days.
 
Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed

I had never met a person who could drive stick until I moved west when I was 35.*

Christ, it's not like I grew up in the 1940s...

The only people who drive stick on the Acela corridor are as-sholes who own, or want to own, performance sports cars, or the Poors who have hoopties. The rest of us are automatic trans cradle to grave. Stick is a deprecated technology unless you drive F-1.

* I have a non-trivial number of friends from NYC who never learned to drive. There was simply no point for them.

I find that I was a much more engaged driver when I drove manual transmissions - acceleration rates, how I'm approaching a curve, etc.

Hovey - automatic transmissions are largely exceeding manual transmissions for MPG ratings now. The computers used to control them, and adding up to 8 gears now, have made them more efficient than manual transmissions.
 
Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed

I was surprised at first when I moved to the West that everybody drives stick there. It would make zero sense in the northeastern cities' start-stop traffic. But in the West it makes perfect sense to drive stick -- you have far more control, it's more fun, and you get better mileage.

I wish I'd learned -- I just never had any incentive, like 98% of the people I grew up with.

I have had several GFs who tried to teach me, including Dr. Mrs. That didn't work for anybody. I love driving, and we plan to retire to the West, so once we're settled there I'll probably just get an instructor and pick it up in a couple days.

Manual transmissions are only about 7% of overall vehicle sales now. Many cars don't even offer them anymore, it's more like a traditional automatic or the CVT are your transmission options now.
 
Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed

need practice. first time mookie drove one was buds rx7 in boston while at school. mookie asked for a ride and bud tossed the keys and said go yourself. clutch gas. easy peasy :)

like guitar. mookie can teach guitar :D but can't "play" unless everyone else playing with is drunk!

stuff like that requires practice to be able to "DO". and automatic is easy. mookie is inherently lazy. sooooooooorrrrrryyy :)
 
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