Kepler
Si certus es dubita
Re: She Who Must Be Obeyed
You don't say anything. This is one of those times when your opinion is not being sought and it is not your place to set her right. This is a politically sensitive topic and the bottom line is you're a member of the dominant group so you have to shut up and listen but not respond. You don't have to lie -- you don't have to agree -- but it helps nothing to voice an opinion that is contrary to the au currant ideology. That opinion will be interpreted as, at best, naive obliviousness to the problem -- and you will have been very, very lucky if it's not interpreted as more malicious than that.
Think of it this way: you understand you benefited from your gender and race in a million ways. Those benefits accrue every day and night, even as you sleep. People without those unearned advantages are p-ssed off, and they ought to be. It isn't your fault and they shouldn't blame you, personally, but it's human nature to do so. They will probably believe and say many things that are reasonable and a few things that are a crock. But there is no practical advantage in walking into that hornet's nest. It will pass -- in another few generations as people do in fact treat the genders and the races equally, those future people will bury not just the bigotries and condescension but also the knee-jerk reactions and over-generalizations. We aren't there yet. Suck it up and remember that it is still winning the privilege lottery to be a western white male.
I don’t know what to say to her.
You don't say anything. This is one of those times when your opinion is not being sought and it is not your place to set her right. This is a politically sensitive topic and the bottom line is you're a member of the dominant group so you have to shut up and listen but not respond. You don't have to lie -- you don't have to agree -- but it helps nothing to voice an opinion that is contrary to the au currant ideology. That opinion will be interpreted as, at best, naive obliviousness to the problem -- and you will have been very, very lucky if it's not interpreted as more malicious than that.
Think of it this way: you understand you benefited from your gender and race in a million ways. Those benefits accrue every day and night, even as you sleep. People without those unearned advantages are p-ssed off, and they ought to be. It isn't your fault and they shouldn't blame you, personally, but it's human nature to do so. They will probably believe and say many things that are reasonable and a few things that are a crock. But there is no practical advantage in walking into that hornet's nest. It will pass -- in another few generations as people do in fact treat the genders and the races equally, those future people will bury not just the bigotries and condescension but also the knee-jerk reactions and over-generalizations. We aren't there yet. Suck it up and remember that it is still winning the privilege lottery to be a western white male.
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