Re: Rep Retirement Thread 130: Revolutions Abound!
five guys for dinner.
When it rains, it pours. Found out from my Dad this afternoon that he's moved out of the house atleast temporarily for the time being. Suffice to say, I've had half a dozen breakdowns so far. This isn't really what I wanted to deal with going into my last rifle match Saturday, and taking my USCG License retake next Tuesday.
"When the going gets tough, the tough get going."
my dad finally moved out between thanksgiving and christmas after i graduated from undergrad. he was banging stuff for a while.. why, because my mom was my mom.
worst thing i did was feel responsible. i left my job in nyc and moved home. went back to grad school with 4 months experience. had to take the place of my dad and be the brunt of all the anger from my mom. in turn i got farther away from my dad. big mistake. in hindsight i should have just stayed in manhattan at the bank and worried about myself. what i know now is they became the people that didn't want to be with each other through their own actions. nothing i did or could do was going to impact or change that.
once i finally left, i realized i don't care if i get back to either of them for extending periods. i talked to both of them, but nothing on my side more than "hi" "hi". of course that's just me -- neither is a hot asian girlie.
when my dad died ... hmm. six years ago (?) i got to meet a parade of gf's at the funeral. too funny. all these old woman i'd never met telling me how much he loved me. it was too funny. of course, not as much as my mom playing the role of martyr. couldn't get away from her fast enough.
my lesson... people do what they need. don't feel responsible. do what you feel you have to to support those you love, and those who love you. but what each person needs in their life comes from within. maybe that 'within' makes them want to subject their needs for the needs of others - spouse, kids, whatnot. maybe it doesn't. i remember telling girl i didn't know if i could be married before we got married - maybe the stuff my parents had (dad's neediness, mom's not) had tarnished me. i'm surprised that after all this time i am only a hopeless flirt and don't mess around like my dad did. i never would have guessed i was capable of that at the time i decided to get married.
support if needed, but remember these are adults who made the choices they did to get into the situations they are in today - both sides. dad who had relations and mom who for whatever reason didn't supply what dad needed to allow him to make that choice (and no, i'm not blaming her -- but there are two sides to what goes on in a marriage - which i can provide as another married guy and others here who are can vouch).
sometimes you may not want him to shoot a load in your mouth - but you think of others, grunt, and let things happen
(and that was in general... NOT meant to imply yours-or ANYONES mom! -- even mine.
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as robin williams told matt damon in good will hunting... "it's not your fault"
THis happened with my parents. As has been said they need to sort it. My parents are both way happier now they are their seperate ways. Not that I would have thought that was the outcome when they were doing nasty at each other. You have no control over them only how you react. No need to react until later. Shoot now. (not them, the targets 
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why did I type that. The bad guys scored.
