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Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
- Thread starter FreshFish
- Start date
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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
so are you now all groan-up yet?
I am coming to this thread lately just to groan!
so are you now all groan-up yet?
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Nonsense?-Isn't that the change you get when you give the clerk $1 for an item that costs 91¢ ??? I am very much a home groan man-and for that matter, a home groin man.
Nonsense?-Isn't that the change you get when you give the clerk $1 for an item that costs 91¢ ??? I am very much a home groan man-and for that matter, a home groin man.
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Insert your favorite ethnicity in place of Italian...
Guido had just finished reading a new book entitled,
You Can Be THE MAN of Your House.
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced to Rita, "From now on, you need to know that I am THE MAN of this house and my word is Law. You'll prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you'll serve me a scrumptious dessert.
After dinner, we're going upstairs
And we'll have the kind of sex that I want.
Afterwards, you're going to draw me a bath so I can relax.
You'll wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you'll massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
Rita replied,
"The funeral director would be my first guess"
Insert your favorite ethnicity in place of Italian...
Guido had just finished reading a new book entitled,
You Can Be THE MAN of Your House.
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced to Rita, "From now on, you need to know that I am THE MAN of this house and my word is Law. You'll prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you'll serve me a scrumptious dessert.
After dinner, we're going upstairs
And we'll have the kind of sex that I want.
Afterwards, you're going to draw me a bath so I can relax.
You'll wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you'll massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
Rita replied,
"The funeral director would be my first guess"
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Joe-If i even hinted at any of this-Guido had just finished reading a new book entitled,
You Can Be THE MAN of Your House.
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced to Rita, "From now on, you need to know that I am THE MAN of this house and my word is Law. You'll prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you'll serve me a scrumptious dessert.
After dinner, we're going upstairs
And we'll have the kind of sex that I want.
Afterwards, you're going to draw me a bath so I can relax.
You'll wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you'll massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
I would have to sleep with my eyes open and check my food by having the cats taste it before i ate it. Jenny has the temper of a hockey forward heading into the corner to forecheck. If i got into a bar fight-something whidch has happened a number of times over the year-I would want her with me on my side.
Joe-If i even hinted at any of this-Guido had just finished reading a new book entitled,
You Can Be THE MAN of Your House.
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced to Rita, "From now on, you need to know that I am THE MAN of this house and my word is Law. You'll prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you'll serve me a scrumptious dessert.
After dinner, we're going upstairs
And we'll have the kind of sex that I want.
Afterwards, you're going to draw me a bath so I can relax.
You'll wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you'll massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
I would have to sleep with my eyes open and check my food by having the cats taste it before i ate it. Jenny has the temper of a hockey forward heading into the corner to forecheck. If i got into a bar fight-something whidch has happened a number of times over the year-I would want her with me on my side.
owslachief
occupe toi de tes oignons
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Will do this "Carnac the Magnificent" (Johnny Carson) style:
Outside of envelope: Thesaurus
Divined: Cretaceous-period reptile with an extensive vocabulary
Will do this "Carnac the Magnificent" (Johnny Carson) style:
Outside of envelope: Thesaurus
Divined: Cretaceous-period reptile with an extensive vocabulary
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Apparently Cindy Adams, the <strike>gossip columnist</strike> reporter who writes stories about celebrities for The New York Post, really likes puns too. I think this is the third one of hers that I've posted now:
A wife asks her husband, "so, honey, how do you like your new beard?"
He replies, "I wasn't so sure about it at first, but it's starting to grow on me."
Apparently Cindy Adams, the <strike>gossip columnist</strike> reporter who writes stories about celebrities for The New York Post, really likes puns too. I think this is the third one of hers that I've posted now:
A wife asks her husband, "so, honey, how do you like your new beard?"
He replies, "I wasn't so sure about it at first, but it's starting to grow on me."
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
My all time favorite Carnac the Magnificent:
Outside the envelope: "Sis-Boom Bah"
Divined: "What is the sound a sheep makes when it explodes?"
My all time favorite Carnac the Magnificent:
Outside the envelope: "Sis-Boom Bah"
Divined: "What is the sound a sheep makes when it explodes?"
Twitch Boy
Defacing this tagline is a MAX foul
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
How did the hipster burn himself?
He ate his dinner before it was cool.
What did the hipster say to the zombie?
"I liked you better when you were underground."
How did the hipster burn himself?
He ate his dinner before it was cool.
What did the hipster say to the zombie?
"I liked you better when you were underground."
NEWI Badger Fan
Registered User
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
A cannibal went for a walk and he passed his brother.
A cannibal went for a walk and he passed his brother.
NEWI Badger Fan
Registered User
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?
Oh snap.
What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?
Oh snap.
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
two college students were talking.
"how do I get to New Orleans?"
-- easy, just take the Tulane Highway.
There was a serious threat to our food supply. Someone was poisoning grain crops across the nation: wheat, oats, corn, they were all dying off. The FBI and State Police from multiple states started a massive manhunt for the cereal killer responsible.
two college students were talking.
"how do I get to New Orleans?"
-- easy, just take the Tulane Highway.
There was a serious threat to our food supply. Someone was poisoning grain crops across the nation: wheat, oats, corn, they were all dying off. The FBI and State Police from multiple states started a massive manhunt for the cereal killer responsible.
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
When the snail wanted to enter the NASCAR race, officials were stunned. There were no numbers left to take, so the snail opted for the the letter S. When the race started, the snail started off slowly and didn't really have any business being in the race. Amazingly, toward the end of the race, the snail zoomed to the lead. The announcer of the race was shocked, as he said to the TV audience, "Wow, look at that S car go."
When the snail wanted to enter the NASCAR race, officials were stunned. There were no numbers left to take, so the snail opted for the the letter S. When the race started, the snail started off slowly and didn't really have any business being in the race. Amazingly, toward the end of the race, the snail zoomed to the lead. The announcer of the race was shocked, as he said to the TV audience, "Wow, look at that S car go."
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
There is bad-and then there is really bad. This one is kind of on the border.(groan)
There is bad-and then there is really bad. This one is kind of on the border.(groan)
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