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Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

We have these electronic scanners and ID cards to get into the office. I carry my card in my wallet, the scanner is just below waist level. I can walk up to it and hold my wallet against it without having to take it out of my pocket.

Now that's a half-arsed way to open a door, eh?





Hmm...among equines, I can say horse, donkey, mule, but I can't say *** without saying arse?
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Used car salesmen are required to undergo a physical before being hired.

Specifically because the job requires having a healthy car dealer vascular system.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

I was putting up an outdoor brick fireplace on my patio. As I was proudly troweling a neat, level layer of mortar in preparation for the next course of block, my neighbor, quite impressed, approached me and said, "good evening".
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

They dug up Beethoven's grave and found his skeleton in there ripping up sheets of music. When asked what he was doing, he responded-"Decomposing"
 
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