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Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Attributed to David Feherty......

My first wife was a great housekeeper..

She kept both houses.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

There was this person who was amazing in his ability to color fabric. He could imbue them with wondrous hues, and his work became in high demand.

He met a woman and fell in love and wanted to spend his life with her. Unfortunately, she was allergic to the chemicals he used in his work.

And so he gave up his wonderful career, since he promised her his un-dye-ing love.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Here's one from the Marx Brothers:

Chico is reviewing a contract he's been asked to sign, he's going through it, reading a few words out loud, and then discarding pages for one reason or another. He gets to one that reads something like "If the party of the first part or the party of the second part are found mentally incompetent..." and then he rips it out with a snort: "You canna fool me! There is no sanity clause!"
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

I understand that the daughter of a famous Hollywood producer had consistent problems in elementary school...she was always Miss Spelling.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

We have an after-hours function for work today that is being hosted at the Stumble Inn.

I kid you not.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

FreshFish said:
We have an after-hours function for work today that is being hosted at the Stumble Inn.

I kid you not.
Click to expand...
If that's in Spencer WI, I will crap myself. There is a bar there that is named "Stumble Inn." How do I know? An ex's family lives there.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

On the same token of horse races, one that also happened:

Who You Gonna Call. We're Not Sure. Who You Gonna Call. We're Not Sure... We're Not Sure, Who You Gonna Call... and at the wire, it's We're Not Sure!
 
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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

I was checking old results in the Olympics and I saw that Kruger ran for the gold in the 1600m in the 52 games.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

FlagDUDE08 said:
On the same token of horse races, one that also happened:

Who You Gonna Call. We're Not Sure. Who You Gonna Call. We're Not Sure... We're Not Sure, Who You Gonna Call... and at the wire, it's We're Not Sure!
Click to expand...


A few years ago at Monmouth Park, there was a race in which two of the competing horses were named "My Wife Knows Everything" and "My Wife Doesn't Know." they were one-two in the stretch run, so imagine how difficult a time the poor track announcer had with it. There is a clip on Youtube. FTR, "My Wife Knows Everything" won. ;)
 
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