Really Terrible Puns, v 10

[joecct]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Had to get my pet Lizard some Valium as he’s been a bit stressed out lately. Now he’s a calmer calmer calmer calmer chameleon

 

[MissThundercat]

Heckler: Terry? That's a lame name.

The heckler died from dissing Terry.

 

[St. Clown]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Heckler: Terry? That's a lame name.

The heckler died from dissing Terry.

You have to drop the g on dissing to really make that one work.

 

[MissThundercat]

There's been an explosion at a cheese factory in France... there's de-Brie everywhere.

 

[MissThundercat]

What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?

A synonym roll.

 

[joecct]

Heckler: Terry? That's a lame name.

The heckler died from dissin Terry.

In other words, sh_t happens.

 

[MissThundercat]

WARNING: there is an email going around that offers processed pork, gelatin, and salt in a can. If you get this email, do not open it! It's spam!

 

[MissThundercat]

Not really a pun, but I'll put it here anyway:

Slowly, Waldo's wife and Mr. SanDiego started putting the pieces together.

 

[owslachief]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Not really a pun, but I'll put it here anyway:

Slowly, Waldo's wife and Mr. SanDiego started putting the pieces together.

Nice. Imagine a break-dancing animated laughing GIF ... that would be me.

WARNING: there is an email going around that offers processed pork, gelatin, and salt in a can. If you get this email, do not open it! It's spam!

Oooo the latter would be to make up for this - really terrible.

 

[MissThundercat]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Nice. Imagine a break-dancing animated laughing GIF ... that would be me.



Oooo the latter would be to make up for this - really terrible.

I know. And I have more where that came from.

 

[MissThundercat]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

So I met this girl a few months back. Her face was acute, and she had the body of an angle, so we started going out. But things didn't add up.... she claimed to always be right, but she also thought she was perfect! That's just crazy talk.

Turns out she was actually a quadrangle that had been bisected. There was this whole other side of her that I'd never even seen. So I said, "baby, the rise is over; it's time for me to run. I thought we were parallel, but it turns out we're perpendicular. We're just not that congruent."

She took it hard. Next time I saw her, she'd become obtuse.

Don't blame me; geometry puns are a slippery slope.

 

[MissThundercat]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Also, this:

For pizza, if depth=a and radius=z, then the volume=pi*z*z*a.

 

[MissThundercat]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

I am not a grammar Nazi. I am "alt-write."

 

[owslachief]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Patient: Hey doc, do you realize you're writing on my chart with a rectal thermometer?
Doctor: Yeah - some a**h*** got my pen.

 

[joecct]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

What fish is made up of two sodium atoms?

2 Na

 

[MissThundercat]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

I'm reading WebMD here, and it says that diarrhea is hereditary.

That means it runs in your jeans.

 

[MissThundercat]

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he Neverlands.

 

[joecct]

I'm reading WebMD here, and it says that diarrhea is hereditary.

That means it runs in your jeans.

The dump and change?

 

[MissThundercat]

A: I can't find my device that helps me locate delicious mushrooms!
B: So, you've lost your morel compass?

 

[joecct]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Can you order wings at a Thai restaurant?