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Poll: Rep Retirement Lodge 205: Are you a hockey fan?

Poll: Rep Retirement Lodge 205: Are you a hockey fan?

  • Total voters
    11
MarkEagleUSA said:
Yikes!

Not sure if I ever updated this here but I must admit reading this makes me thankful I was finally able to get mom into long term care. She's been there since January when she finished her short term rehab for the last UTI episode. They did a cognitive assessment and determined she has dementia. We're in the final stages of the Title XIX process... just waiting for the final approval which the lawyer hopes will be soon.

As hard as it was for me go through with this, I know it's what's best for her. She's safe, cared for, well fed, and gets her meds religiously. She's adjusted quite well but still has moments where she doesn't understand why she can't go home. Usually a little misdirection gets her going the other way and she's fine for days, even weeks at a time.

There's just no way she could have continued living alone, even with in-home care. It's not an ideal situation but it's what we could do with what we had to work with. She never planned for this... thought she'd be able to fend for herself up until the day she died. Therefore, she's lost her paltry savings and all her "stuff" has been discarded. She had several items on a list attached to her will that she wanted specific people to have. I went ahead and contacted them all and if they wanted what was earmarked for them I got it to them. The remainder was donated to local charities and shelters where possible but frankly, a lot needed to be tossed as nobody wanted it. It still amazes me what a 94 yr old woman had in a very small 4 room apartment. As my wife said to me, she was living an episode of Hoarders.

As for me, I'm much more relaxed knowing she's in a place where her needs are being met. I don't have to worry everytime the phone rings, and don't have to keep her calendar straight as the home has taken over all of here care needs except for the pulmonologist and cardiologist for her pacemaker, but they're coordinating that care as well.

I'll save a seat for you in Heaven, Les. After this adventure and that of me ex-wife, I KNOW I have an express ticket to the Pearly Gates!
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Thanks MEUSA. I am glad to hear that your Mum is in a safe place.

Things got more interesting after that. They closed the bank acct without asking us to confirm what checks had been written. Could migrate all the $ but not the auto pay or auto deposit. Some of this is connected to her Trust. She is the only trustee so I can't do things, even with POA for the Trust stuff. Has been throwing away bills she pays so no account # for anything. I spent approx 14 hrs sifting thru, calling various entities. Her Direct deposit stuff for pension/SS is a mess.They no longer make cards on the spot so she has to wait a week. Checks take 2 weeks to arrive- no dummy checks anymore.

SHe had lost the key to the safety deposit box and the Bank only gives one if the person started out as a single owner. Key is now found.

Came to the conclusion that when she is doing things that are routine she does OK (which is what has been fooling us all). Anything out of her wheelhouse and she falls right off the boat.

The Dr didn't nix living alone yet. We are increasing her hours of help. I brilliantly told her she has been a leader most of her life (she was a coach who led teams to State Championships). Good Leaders delegate to team members the things that the team member has a strength for. No Leader is capable of doing everything by themselves. A good leader uses the team to get the job done. This really resonated with her. So now we are in the process of trying to figure out the fun of how I get to take over the bills.

ALso after sig research with no comprehensive guide for free, bought the NOK system- next of kin stuff that has labels, worksheets for every thing we might possibly need. Awaiting arrival. bro les is going to do it for mum les, we are doing godmum and mr les might do one for his dad. Very much wish I had seen this sooner. If anyone is dealing with people who are starting to struggle highly recommend. And if you decide to get it, let me know. I can send a link and they will give me $$ off.

Oh, and Good Afternoon Lodge!
 
Oh gosh les thanks for this info. What is the NOK kit?

Things with my mom have been a real struggle the past few months. Her memory is declining, though physically she is doing OK. Three weeks ago she somehow got diverticulitis. I think that affected her memory even more. She got through that infection and is pretty healthy now. But she is only walking with a walker now. I've been up here quite a bit staying with her while working from here. I finally reached out to a home health care agency to get someone in here a couple of days a week to start. She is fighting me on it, she doesn't think she needs it. I told her it's not for her, it's for me. I get very nervous and anxious when I leave to go home, which isn't a lot of the time these days. She never remembers to take her pills. Thankfully she takes very few meds. Actually, out of the six pills she take, two of them are vitamins. The others are maintenance drugs. If she misses a day, it's not the end of the world. Still, trying to get her to remember to take them has been a challenge.

I reached out to my brother in CA and asked him to come home for a few weeks. He lands next Tuesday. We're going to have to have that conversation about him coming back more frequently to help out. I don't know how well that will go. He hasn't booked his flight home but based on the conversation we had earlier today I think he wants to head back sooner than I want him to.

Today there was a Comcast outage and there was no internet (so i couldn't work), no landline, and most importantly no TV. Thankfully it came back but I'm scared to think what would have happened if I wasn't here.
 
Scarlet said:
Oh gosh les thanks for this info. What is the NOK kit?

Things with my mom have been a real struggle the past few months. Her memory is declining, though physically she is doing OK. Three weeks ago she somehow got diverticulitis. I think that affected her memory even more. She got through that infection and is pretty healthy now. But she is only walking with a walker now. I've been up here quite a bit staying with her while working from here. I finally reached out to a home health care agency to get someone in here a couple of days a week to start. She is fighting me on it, she doesn't think she needs it. I told her it's not for her, it's for me. I get very nervous and anxious when I leave to go home, which isn't a lot of the time these days. She never remembers to take her pills. Thankfully she takes very few meds. Actually, out of the six pills she take, two of them are vitamins. The others are maintenance drugs. If she misses a day, it's not the end of the world. Still, trying to get her to remember to take them has been a challenge.

I reached out to my brother in CA and asked him to come home for a few weeks. He lands next Tuesday. We're going to have to have that conversation about him coming back more frequently to help out. I don't know how well that will go. He hasn't booked his flight home but based on the conversation we had earlier today I think he wants to head back sooner than I want him to.

Today there was a Comcast outage and there was no internet (so i couldn't work), no landline, and most importantly no TV. Thankfully it came back but I'm scared to think what would have happened if I wasn't here.
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I will message you on Messenger
 
I forgot- Good Morning Lodge!

Off to do some more case management. Glad I retired, so I can do the thing I have my 2 degrees in. Mother of God is our system embarrassingly bad. We need to live somewhere the system isn't about business model (which is failing miserably in all measures) and actually works to help people. Grr
 
Howdy Lodge. Hope all is well with everyone. I think I have mentioned a few times here about my mother having been diagnosed with Alzheimers back in January. She thankfully is not too bad yet. But what I find really fascinating is - I'm here with her now and her cousin called her. This is a woman who was born in Greece and Greek is her first language so when she calls to talk to my mom, my mom converses with her in Greek. How does she remember how to have a conversation in a totally different language when she can't remember if she took pills or something?
 
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