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Nice Plant #7: Get me off of this planet

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Re: Nice Plant #7: Get me off of this planet

Well you honor, it's like this. My buddy and I had just come out of McSorley's Bar and they were having Mel Brooks Trivia Night. So as we're walking back to the subway, we both decide to pay the rental fee on the beer before taking the train back to Brooklyn. So, anyway, your Honor, we're continuing the Trivia but I have to drain the lizard, so I says, "Excuse Me, Let me Whip this out." and BANG! Officer Krupke over there slaps the cuffs on me for "public lewdness"
 
Re: Nice Plant #7: Get me off of this planet

Since the sexual contact was post mortem he was not charged with capital murder as he would have been if he'd raped and then killed her. Too bad, I doubt a Texas jury would have passed on the chance to put him on a gurney.

I was wondering why it wasn't a capital case. I guess that clears that up.
 
Re: Nice Plant #7: Get me off of this planet

I was wondering why it wasn't a capital case. I guess that clears that up.

I spent a lot of years in Houston reporting on death penalty cases and I'm pretty confident I've got it right. Actually, the Texas capital murder law is quite narrowly drawn: multiple killing, serial killing, killing of a child, killing of a law enforcement officer, murder for hire, murder for profit, killing a witness. And, a murder in conjunction with an enumerated felony: rape-murder, robbery-murder. These are the only crimes for which you can be executed in Texas. Thus, most murders in Texas are not capital murder. And most Texas murderers don't face the needle. And not everyone convicted of capital murder is condemned. And I believe sex with a corpse does not qualify as rape.

When I first went to work in Omaha, Anne Richards had responded to a Papal request and delayed some dude's pending execution for 30 days (the governor can stop the clock for any reason). All this guy had done was to rape and murder a 75 year old nun! And I told the folks in Omaha what Papal intervention buys you in Texas is 30 days and not one day more. "But, but, but, the Pope." 31 days later that waste of protoplasm was gone. Ba-da-BING!
 
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Re: Nice Plant #7: Get me off of this planet

Sick Puppy!!

Since the sexual contact was post mortem he was not charged with capital murder as he would have been if he'd raped and then killed her. Too bad, I doubt a Texas jury would have passed on the chance to put him on a gurney.

Yep. You just have to realize that there's some bad eggs out there and you might as well toss em out without even trying to make Egg Salad out of them. **** shame Texas can't just end that bad egg there.
 
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