Re: Michigan Tech Season Thread Part V: We Were Dead On Arrival
As the Down Goes Brown blog proves, humor is sometimes the only way you can get through a rough sports year. So...
13 Signs That the Hockey Huskies Have Packed it in for the Season
13. Captaincy back up for grabs; will be offered to the first player who manages to sleep with the only "Tech 11" on campus.
12. The skating treadmill is up for sale.
11. Phone records indicate Jamie Russell put in a call to Jimmy John's HQ last week, possibly inquiring into franchising opportunities.
10. After Dieter Kochan's police job goes full-time, MTU replaces him with new student volunteer goaltending coach Brandon Maurisak.
9. Water bottles are now filled with an entertaining mixture of 5-Hour Energy and the DT's Long Islands.
8. Since the beginning of January, "practice" has consisted of playing NHL '10 matches against one another, and submitting highlights to Russell to try and repair his shattered confidence.
7. Post-game team meetings are held in the style of
Survivor - players sit around the sauna rocks, make overly-dramatic accusatory remarks, and anonymously vote to cut one guy from the team.
6. Coaches are now invited to team parties, since they're going to be fired anyway.
5. Players have already begun annual ritual of signing up as an USCHO newbie and taking turns trolling other fanbases on the boards.
4. Working on getting the Marquette Rangers to drive up and play an intra-squad exhibition at the MacInnes as part of a new crossover promotion - "Come watch Tanner Kero play before he starts missing wide open nets next fall!"
3. Women's basketball t-shirts are the new prize for winning intermission games and contests.
2. Flush with cash and in the spirit of dry humor, the local Domino's has temporarily changed their offer for the Mankato series to, "10% off for each goal the Huskies
allow, up to five goals."
1. Announcement that due to the current economic conditions and declining revenues, newly-appointed AD Jim Balsille will be relocating the program to Hamilton, Ontario.