EMAIL Exchange #1:
GUY WITH AN ISSUE: Hi, I need you to provide me [information] on your applications and databases you support for my group, Group XYZ?
ME: Hi [GUY]. I'm sorry by my team doesn't support any XYZ applications. I think you have the wrong support team.
EMAIL Exchange #2:
GUY WITH AN ISSUE: I know you support these things, because you just supported them last month.
ME: Sorry, I think you're mistaken. Please see the attached workbook, that is a complete list of the applications and databases we support. Group XYZ is only listed on their once, but I don't think that's what you're requesting.
EMAIL Exchange #3:
GUY WITH AN ISSUE: No, you're wrong. You support us. We've had support from your team.
ME: Are you perhaps thinking of the [.NET Dev team] or the [Other app support team]? We only support the applications on the list I sent you.
EMAIL Exchange #3:
GUY WITH AN ISSUE: Hi [St. Clown's boss's boss], I know your [sic] familiar with this, your group supports it. [Paraphrasing]: Your cretins in the support team are telling me they don't support my things.
Then my boss's boss comes back to... Actually, we do support them. They don't get much action, but we do bill for them even though they're not on your list. Great.
Annual survey, "Do you have the tools to perform your job well?" Fick no!