Dad jokes and Bad jokes. One in the same

[MissThundercat]

Crushing pop cans is soda pressing.

 

[SonofSouthie]

Heard this one last night:
Irish guy walking through the neighborhood looking for odd jobs. Knocks on a door, a woman answers, and he asks if she might have something to do.
She thinks about it a says you can paint the porch.
He comes back a coupla hours and says finished.
BTW it's not a porch it's a BMW.

 

[MissThundercat]

Stop making toothpaste jokes, Oral B mad!

 

[Scarlet]

I enjoy this thread.

 

[Kepler]

How is the Eiffel Tower like a tick?

Spoiler:

They're Paris-ites.

 

[MissThundercat]

There are two wolves inside of you. I have no idea how you're still alive.

 

[wolverineTrumpet]

I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey...but then I turned myself around

 

[St. Clown]

What did the police at the oscars find when they dusted Chris Rock's face?

Fresh Prints…

 

[Kepler]

What did the police at the oscars find when they dusted Chris Rock's face?

Fresh Prints…

Better joke than Rock told.

 

[aparch]

Why did Will Smith slap Chris Rock and not punch him?

Because paper beats rock.

 

[MissThundercat]

We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply. Students need to divide and conquer, then subtract them one by one.

 

[jericho]

What do you call a Vietnamese person who’s bugging you?

hanoing.

 

[MissThundercat]

If I ever hear something about $15,000 worth of textbooks stolen from a university bookstore:

"Well, I hope they got both of those books back!"

 

[MissThundercat]

I'm going to donate my body to science and science will be like "wow, I don't want that."

 

[SonofSouthie]

The hardest thing about riding a bicycle?

The pavement.

 

[LynahFan]

Somehow reminded me of:

What's the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits the windshield?

His ass.

 

[joecct]

Follow Wayne Butler on Facebook. Examples:

https://fb.watch/d3_B7QToy9/

 

[MissThundercat]

I have a theory on inertia, but it's not gaining momentum.

 

[LynahFan]

I have a theory on inertia, but it's not gaining momentum.

Sounds like you aren’t being forceful enough.

 

[Kepler]

Sounds like you aren’t being forceful enough.

Don't be a jerk.