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Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.
- Thread starter MissThundercat
- Start date
FadeToBlack&Gold
8647
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.
Got sick of Portera b*tching about money last night and locked him out of our shared room at the Port City Inn, so I could try and get some shut-eye. I'll try and have the recap on the South Regional Final up tonight.
Got sick of Portera b*tching about money last night and locked him out of our shared room at the Port City Inn, so I could try and get some shut-eye. I'll try and have the recap on the South Regional Final up tonight.
huskyfan
New member
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.
My last post for a while. No cell service on Isle Royale. Oh. Wait. We have a sat phone. And a television crew. And blue skies and calm seas.
I must issue apologies to the Commish, to the tournament and its fans. I have really ******ed up. Big time. We met up with Jet Ski man and were loading beer, firearms and teams into the zodiacs. Players were required to travel dressed since there would be no changing rooms. No room for gear, we could cut down branches for sticks. Make pucks out of ice. 3 on 3 hockey, to keep down the number of players needing transport. No real nets in pond hockey, so no goalies. I had cleverly stashed bottles of Pink Whitney and Ketel One and a gun in my puffy and down my snow pants. I looked like the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man.
As we finished loading, I watched as trucks towing boats pulled up to the launch ramp. Real boats, not rubber rafts or jet skis, real friggin boats of every size. Happy people in various jerseys worn over their puffys poured from the trucks. Men, women and children(!) Surely this had nothing to do with us? As I watched in puzzlement, I noticed a big smirk on Frank's face. And then, to my unfolding horror, I watched as these happy people began loading their boats with tents,sleeping bags,grills,snow shovels,four real hockey nets,benches,big bags of real food (a violation of tournament rules),cases of beer, liquor and wine (wine? another violation),firewood,bags of sticks,sat phone,skate sharpening machine,pizza oven,patio heaters, several generators, sump pump (I know what that's for, you ********, you are going to make smooth ice),popcorn maker,an entire pickup truck load of toilet paper,scoreboard,a box of participation trophies,dasher boards and bleachers. An entire Schwann's truck drove onto one of the boats. Four guys carrying suit bags with ref clothes. One looked familiar but he had his hat flaps pulled down and I couldn't see all of his face. Two guys in Star Tribune swag, one carrying camera gear, including a lens as big as my thigh. A television crew.
When Frank slipped away from me yesterday, he called the Star Tribune and did an interview. He pulled out a copy of today's edition. There was a picture of him on the front page. The headline read "Frank Anzalone to hold Hockey Tournament on Isle Royale". I reached down my snowpants for the gun and pulled out a bottle of Pink Whitney instead. Never one to pass up vodka, I began chugging it. Frank tried to grab the bottle for a drink. With alcohol fueled strength, I pushed him down in the snow. I punched him in the face, but with choppers on, no damage was done. He laughed and said the boats were loaded with cases of Pink Whitney.
Reached into my puffy for another bottle and I pulled out the gun instead. Knowing this tournament was *** and I would never be asked to coordinate another I went to shoot myself. Two guys in Minnesota State sweaters grabbed the gun and held me while I cried and chugged vodka. Don't worry, be happy, it will all come right, we've got this covered, they said.
The Minnesotans were so delighted, so happy, so polite, so nice... I managed a weak smile.
The Jet Ski Guy and friends clambered aboard a boat and cracked beers. The entire Miami and Merrimack teams jumped aboard a cabin cruiser, holding growlers and pieces of Do North pizza. The three Miami goalies gave me the finger. A55hats. Frank bounded up the steps to a yacht. He was holding a glass of Johnny Walker Blue. I was bundled aboard a boat and shoved down into the cabin. Helpful hands pulled a t-shirt over my head. Imprinted on it : "Frank Anzalone's Futile Four 2020 Isle Royale State of Hockey" I blew my nose on it. I was handed a real glass glass with Pink Whitney on the rocks. And a plate of hot dish. **** you Frank! Two women in St, Clouud sweaters hugged me and said all was forgiven. f'in traitors, dumping the WCHA for a plate of nachos.
As the boats revved up their engines the TVv in the cabin flickered to life. WDIO in Duloth had pre-empted regular scheduled programming to go wall- to-- wall coverage of the tournement. They had just feenished a live interview with Frannk.
Freak has wrcked this tournament and my dreamn of seeing a Fffutile Four played, on Casino Royale. Hicup. Isle RRRoyale. Well, Frank and the Commish and JJM. Actually more the Commish and JJM. What were they thinking involving Frank in thiss
I stmbled sup top an waa seck. **** st, clouud fns hed my haair
My last post for a while. No cell service on Isle Royale. Oh. Wait. We have a sat phone. And a television crew. And blue skies and calm seas.
I must issue apologies to the Commish, to the tournament and its fans. I have really ******ed up. Big time. We met up with Jet Ski man and were loading beer, firearms and teams into the zodiacs. Players were required to travel dressed since there would be no changing rooms. No room for gear, we could cut down branches for sticks. Make pucks out of ice. 3 on 3 hockey, to keep down the number of players needing transport. No real nets in pond hockey, so no goalies. I had cleverly stashed bottles of Pink Whitney and Ketel One and a gun in my puffy and down my snow pants. I looked like the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man.
As we finished loading, I watched as trucks towing boats pulled up to the launch ramp. Real boats, not rubber rafts or jet skis, real friggin boats of every size. Happy people in various jerseys worn over their puffys poured from the trucks. Men, women and children(!) Surely this had nothing to do with us? As I watched in puzzlement, I noticed a big smirk on Frank's face. And then, to my unfolding horror, I watched as these happy people began loading their boats with tents,sleeping bags,grills,snow shovels,four real hockey nets,benches,big bags of real food (a violation of tournament rules),cases of beer, liquor and wine (wine? another violation),firewood,bags of sticks,sat phone,skate sharpening machine,pizza oven,patio heaters, several generators, sump pump (I know what that's for, you ********, you are going to make smooth ice),popcorn maker,an entire pickup truck load of toilet paper,scoreboard,a box of participation trophies,dasher boards and bleachers. An entire Schwann's truck drove onto one of the boats. Four guys carrying suit bags with ref clothes. One looked familiar but he had his hat flaps pulled down and I couldn't see all of his face. Two guys in Star Tribune swag, one carrying camera gear, including a lens as big as my thigh. A television crew.
When Frank slipped away from me yesterday, he called the Star Tribune and did an interview. He pulled out a copy of today's edition. There was a picture of him on the front page. The headline read "Frank Anzalone to hold Hockey Tournament on Isle Royale". I reached down my snowpants for the gun and pulled out a bottle of Pink Whitney instead. Never one to pass up vodka, I began chugging it. Frank tried to grab the bottle for a drink. With alcohol fueled strength, I pushed him down in the snow. I punched him in the face, but with choppers on, no damage was done. He laughed and said the boats were loaded with cases of Pink Whitney.
Reached into my puffy for another bottle and I pulled out the gun instead. Knowing this tournament was *** and I would never be asked to coordinate another I went to shoot myself. Two guys in Minnesota State sweaters grabbed the gun and held me while I cried and chugged vodka. Don't worry, be happy, it will all come right, we've got this covered, they said.
The Minnesotans were so delighted, so happy, so polite, so nice... I managed a weak smile.
The Jet Ski Guy and friends clambered aboard a boat and cracked beers. The entire Miami and Merrimack teams jumped aboard a cabin cruiser, holding growlers and pieces of Do North pizza. The three Miami goalies gave me the finger. A55hats. Frank bounded up the steps to a yacht. He was holding a glass of Johnny Walker Blue. I was bundled aboard a boat and shoved down into the cabin. Helpful hands pulled a t-shirt over my head. Imprinted on it : "Frank Anzalone's Futile Four 2020 Isle Royale State of Hockey" I blew my nose on it. I was handed a real glass glass with Pink Whitney on the rocks. And a plate of hot dish. **** you Frank! Two women in St, Clouud sweaters hugged me and said all was forgiven. f'in traitors, dumping the WCHA for a plate of nachos.
As the boats revved up their engines the TVv in the cabin flickered to life. WDIO in Duloth had pre-empted regular scheduled programming to go wall- to-- wall coverage of the tournement. They had just feenished a live interview with Frannk.
Freak has wrcked this tournament and my dreamn of seeing a Fffutile Four played, on Casino Royale. Hicup. Isle RRRoyale. Well, Frank and the Commish and JJM. Actually more the Commish and JJM. What were they thinking involving Frank in thiss
I stmbled sup top an waa seck. **** st, clouud fns hed my haair
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.
But none of those people made it to Lake Desor. There was no passable trail for them to walk through, because Miss Thundercat and Chris Bergeron paid park rangers to look away while we did some strategic illegal logging.
Midwest Regional Final: SLUT vs. Miami
With huskyfan and Frank obliterated, the Commish grabbed a Captain's Chair and reffed the final HERSELF. With Scott Borek back, he volunteered to be a linesman for a lame Commish. Upon Face off, Jordan Steinmetz got the puck and made Frank go chase it. "This is fine," Miss Thundercat said as she started chugging cheap Rosé from the bottle. While our adorable Commish was getting hammered on cheap wine, Casey Gilling of Miami scored. 1-0 Miami. A few minutes later, Alex Gilmour of SLUT tied it up at one when he placed the puck in the trash can. A period ending brawl happened.
In period 2, Miss Thundercat and Borek continued to get drunk together as they looked the other way. However, Miss Thundercat was on her 3rd bottle of wine when Gordie Green of Miami skated too close. She barfed all over his skates; he was frozen and disgusted at the same time. Ashton Fry of SLUT stole the puck and scored, giving SLUT a 2-1 lead. While Gordie Green was toweling off, his teammate Ryan Savage scored and grabbed a bottle of Corona. That's how the period would end, tied at 2.
In the third, Derek Daschke of Miami gave Miss Thundercat $25, enough for a bag of Death Wish Coffee. While she was putting the money in her purse, he gave Miami the lead. SLU would try and tie it up, but when Jordan Steinmetz shot the puck, it slowed down in the vomit. Miami would put one more on the board when Karch Bachman performed the old "hidden puck" trick and deposited it in the trash can behind Daniel Maniella. Miami would win 4-2 and SLUT would punch their ticket to the Futile Four.
But none of those people made it to Lake Desor. There was no passable trail for them to walk through, because Miss Thundercat and Chris Bergeron paid park rangers to look away while we did some strategic illegal logging.
Midwest Regional Final: SLUT vs. Miami
With huskyfan and Frank obliterated, the Commish grabbed a Captain's Chair and reffed the final HERSELF. With Scott Borek back, he volunteered to be a linesman for a lame Commish. Upon Face off, Jordan Steinmetz got the puck and made Frank go chase it. "This is fine," Miss Thundercat said as she started chugging cheap Rosé from the bottle. While our adorable Commish was getting hammered on cheap wine, Casey Gilling of Miami scored. 1-0 Miami. A few minutes later, Alex Gilmour of SLUT tied it up at one when he placed the puck in the trash can. A period ending brawl happened.
In period 2, Miss Thundercat and Borek continued to get drunk together as they looked the other way. However, Miss Thundercat was on her 3rd bottle of wine when Gordie Green of Miami skated too close. She barfed all over his skates; he was frozen and disgusted at the same time. Ashton Fry of SLUT stole the puck and scored, giving SLUT a 2-1 lead. While Gordie Green was toweling off, his teammate Ryan Savage scored and grabbed a bottle of Corona. That's how the period would end, tied at 2.
In the third, Derek Daschke of Miami gave Miss Thundercat $25, enough for a bag of Death Wish Coffee. While she was putting the money in her purse, he gave Miami the lead. SLU would try and tie it up, but when Jordan Steinmetz shot the puck, it slowed down in the vomit. Miami would put one more on the board when Karch Bachman performed the old "hidden puck" trick and deposited it in the trash can behind Daniel Maniella. Miami would win 4-2 and SLUT would punch their ticket to the Futile Four.
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.
The Commish just got some garbled results back from the Northeast.
Lake Inferior State made sure they got off Mt. Washington in a hurry, beating UAH 19-0. Max Humitz of Inferior scored 9 goals.
Mercyhurst wanted to join the other Lakers going home, as James Anderson of Mercyhurst scored all 4 goals in the game.
Marty got plenty of head scratches.
Regional Final: UAA vs. UAH.
We think UAH may have contracted COVID-19 as a team, because they were coughing, short of breath, and had fevers of 100.6. We made them play UAA anyway, and they were no match for the Seapuppies. That being said, the Seapuppies managed to score 7 goals standing 180 feet away from UAH.
UAH punches their ticket to Baltimore.
The Commish just got some garbled results back from the Northeast.
Lake Inferior State made sure they got off Mt. Washington in a hurry, beating UAH 19-0. Max Humitz of Inferior scored 9 goals.
Mercyhurst wanted to join the other Lakers going home, as James Anderson of Mercyhurst scored all 4 goals in the game.
Marty got plenty of head scratches.
Regional Final: UAA vs. UAH.
We think UAH may have contracted COVID-19 as a team, because they were coughing, short of breath, and had fevers of 100.6. We made them play UAA anyway, and they were no match for the Seapuppies. That being said, the Seapuppies managed to score 7 goals standing 180 feet away from UAH.
UAH punches their ticket to Baltimore.
Jimjamesak
Already insane, UAA making it worse
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.
Still counts.
<div class="tenor-gif-embed" data-postid="15711237" data-share-method="host" data-width="50%" data-aspect-ratio="1.66"><a href="https://tenor.com/view/birthday-pinkie-my-little-pony-happy-gif-15711237">Birthday Pinkie GIF</a> from <a href="https://tenor.com/search/birthday-gifs">Birthday GIFs</a></div><script type="text/javascript" async src="https://tenor.com/embed.js"></script>
*sigh*
Still counts.
<div class="tenor-gif-embed" data-postid="15711237" data-share-method="host" data-width="50%" data-aspect-ratio="1.66"><a href="https://tenor.com/view/birthday-pinkie-my-little-pony-happy-gif-15711237">Birthday Pinkie GIF</a> from <a href="https://tenor.com/search/birthday-gifs">Birthday GIFs</a></div><script type="text/javascript" async src="https://tenor.com/embed.js"></script>
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.
Special favor to ask of JJM and Fade: would you two be willing to take a Futile Four game if I wrote the final?
Coffee for Fade, Upper Hand beer for JJM.
Special favor to ask of JJM and Fade: would you two be willing to take a Futile Four game if I wrote the final?
Coffee for Fade, Upper Hand beer for JJM.
FadeToBlack&Gold
8647
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.
I can probably take a FF semi final, but don't expect timely results.
I can probably take a FF semi final, but don't expect timely results.
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.
Timely results are for that "other" tournament. Remember last year, I didn't have the final up until almost May.
Timely results are for that "other" tournament. Remember last year, I didn't have the final up until almost May.
RPI fan 4 life
Season Ticket Holder since 1974
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.
3/4 of the Futile Four are set: UAH, Varmint, and SLUT. Just waiting for the loser of CC and Onion. Who plays who?
3/4 of the Futile Four are set: UAH, Varmint, and SLUT. Just waiting for the loser of CC and Onion. Who plays who?
huskyfan
New member
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.
Frank will probably say he DID coach CC to a title.
Frank will probably say he DID coach CC to a title.
FadeToBlack&Gold
8647
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.
Wait a minute, did the Atlantic Hockey schools actually win their way out of a Futile Four appearance this year?!
Wait a minute, did the Atlantic Hockey schools actually win their way out of a Futile Four appearance this year?!
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.
Oui. So did UAA.
Wait a minute, did the Atlantic Hockey schools actually win their way out of a Futile Four appearance this year?!
Oui. So did UAA.
Heard through the grapevine that Marty enjoyed reffing again this year, and the head scratches and tuna, of course, and is already looking ahead to Mt Washington hosting the NE regional again next year.
John J. MacInnes
Coach Emeritus
JJM is happy to oblige. Due to the current travel ban, I'll be watching on security camera links. It's perfect.
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.
The Commish thanks you!
The Commish thanks you!
huskyfan
New member
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.
Wow! I woke up on Isle Royale at Windigo, in a tent, in a down sleeping bag, with solicitous Bemidji fans bringing me a Bloody Mary. Hair of the dog. Bacon and eggs were cooking, the fans were up and greeting each other cheerfully. The teams were still asleep.
The nice Minnesotans let me use the sat phone.
Two rinks have been set up, completely smooth shoveled ice, dasher boards, scoreboard and bleachers. (having the teams skate in thigh deep snow was a dream of mine, who would have ever found the puck?, this is way better!) Cooking facilities, restrooms and gathering areas are in place. There is even a medical tent! Frank overnighted on the yacht. I think he owns it. He made a lot of money coaching in the ECHL. And he coached both CC and Lake States to NCAA championships! What a guy!
This is the nicest Futile Four ever!! I love it. I just knew I wouldn't let down our fans. Even though Frank is taking all the credit, that's ok. He's man and needs the ego strokes. A few more boats arrived this morning - they were greeted with cheers and people immediately ran down to the harbor to help them dock and leaded them up to the eating area for breakfast.
Almost everyone has on Futile Four sweatshirts and drinking from Futile Four souvenir cups. A freighter went by with a HUGE banner saying "Welcome to the Futile Four Bottom Feeders Bracket". A group headed out on snowshoes this morning to look for sea caves.
The poor Commish drank so much coffee she hallucinated badly. She also may have been adding a little something to the coffee. Maybe a lot something. There never were games held at Lake Desor. That is a two day hike - when the snow is gone. With the Commish's foot... Although I understand this hallucination. Even with my bad knee, I dream of backpacking this trail. There are no park rangers on the Isle during the winter. And no cell phone service. All personnel were pulled off the Island for restocking beer, firearm training and corona virus testing. Our beloved Commish was in such bad shape when we hit Two Harbors, I went through her handbag and found a Futile Four credit card. Wha?? She's been holding out on us. I used it to buy a Glock, ammunition and bottles of vodka. And for a bus ticket to ship get back to Holland. I hope she is doing alright.
This is such a great tournament. Minnesota sure knows how to get it on. And they are so nice! And thanks to the State for letting us use Isle Royale!
That one ref still looks familiar. I've got to talk to him.
I wonder if there is something in these Bloody Marys besides vodka. A little microdose perhaps? I feel so good. Hey, there is Frank! C'mon over here Frank, let's chat!
Signing Off from Camp Bottom Feeders Bracket, Windigo, Isle Royale, Minnesota - the very best to all of you, stay safe, stay healthy, have a great day, fondly, love, peace - huskyfan
Wow! I woke up on Isle Royale at Windigo, in a tent, in a down sleeping bag, with solicitous Bemidji fans bringing me a Bloody Mary. Hair of the dog. Bacon and eggs were cooking, the fans were up and greeting each other cheerfully. The teams were still asleep.
The nice Minnesotans let me use the sat phone.
Two rinks have been set up, completely smooth shoveled ice, dasher boards, scoreboard and bleachers. (having the teams skate in thigh deep snow was a dream of mine, who would have ever found the puck?, this is way better!) Cooking facilities, restrooms and gathering areas are in place. There is even a medical tent! Frank overnighted on the yacht. I think he owns it. He made a lot of money coaching in the ECHL. And he coached both CC and Lake States to NCAA championships! What a guy!
This is the nicest Futile Four ever!! I love it. I just knew I wouldn't let down our fans. Even though Frank is taking all the credit, that's ok. He's man and needs the ego strokes. A few more boats arrived this morning - they were greeted with cheers and people immediately ran down to the harbor to help them dock and leaded them up to the eating area for breakfast.
Almost everyone has on Futile Four sweatshirts and drinking from Futile Four souvenir cups. A freighter went by with a HUGE banner saying "Welcome to the Futile Four Bottom Feeders Bracket". A group headed out on snowshoes this morning to look for sea caves.
The poor Commish drank so much coffee she hallucinated badly. She also may have been adding a little something to the coffee. Maybe a lot something. There never were games held at Lake Desor. That is a two day hike - when the snow is gone. With the Commish's foot... Although I understand this hallucination. Even with my bad knee, I dream of backpacking this trail. There are no park rangers on the Isle during the winter. And no cell phone service. All personnel were pulled off the Island for restocking beer, firearm training and corona virus testing. Our beloved Commish was in such bad shape when we hit Two Harbors, I went through her handbag and found a Futile Four credit card. Wha?? She's been holding out on us. I used it to buy a Glock, ammunition and bottles of vodka. And for a bus ticket to ship get back to Holland. I hope she is doing alright.
This is such a great tournament. Minnesota sure knows how to get it on. And they are so nice! And thanks to the State for letting us use Isle Royale!
That one ref still looks familiar. I've got to talk to him.
I wonder if there is something in these Bloody Marys besides vodka. A little microdose perhaps? I feel so good. Hey, there is Frank! C'mon over here Frank, let's chat!
Signing Off from Camp Bottom Feeders Bracket, Windigo, Isle Royale, Minnesota - the very best to all of you, stay safe, stay healthy, have a great day, fondly, love, peace - huskyfan
Last edited:
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.
nice to know that huskyfan lives her own fairy tale world. The tale told by JJM and I is that Frank didn't go to Minnesota, Frank was lecturing moose on how he's the greatest. The commish really wants huskyfan to check in with her next time to figure out what the official story is.
nice to know that huskyfan lives her own fairy tale world. The tale told by JJM and I is that Frank didn't go to Minnesota, Frank was lecturing moose on how he's the greatest. The commish really wants huskyfan to check in with her next time to figure out what the official story is.
huskyfan
New member
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.
I was usurped, I tell you, usurped! I am actually going somewhere with this ...
I was usurped, I tell you, usurped! I am actually going somewhere with this ...
huskyfan
New member
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.
Yesterday was a beautiful day on Isle Royale. Spring weather! Am hoping the ice doesn't melt.
The UofMinn fans are running the tournament now. They declared yesterday as a day of practice. So the teams skated and most of the rest us drank.
So many Minnesota fans here! And lots and lots of UMD fans. Of course they are closest to Isle Royale. There is even a fan here that looks like Scott Sandelin. Wait, it was Scott Sandelin!! How cool he would come over for the Bottom Feeders tournament!
The Merrimack players apparently are big UMD fans. Several wore UMD shirts during practice. And they gathered around Sandelin. For autographs, I suppose.
Frank and I hung out and drank together. What an interesting guy! I'm so glad he planned this tournament.
We may play the games tonight. Yes! We have lights. Or maybe not.
Yesterday was a beautiful day on Isle Royale. Spring weather! Am hoping the ice doesn't melt.
The UofMinn fans are running the tournament now. They declared yesterday as a day of practice. So the teams skated and most of the rest us drank.
So many Minnesota fans here! And lots and lots of UMD fans. Of course they are closest to Isle Royale. There is even a fan here that looks like Scott Sandelin. Wait, it was Scott Sandelin!! How cool he would come over for the Bottom Feeders tournament!
The Merrimack players apparently are big UMD fans. Several wore UMD shirts during practice. And they gathered around Sandelin. For autographs, I suppose.
Frank and I hung out and drank together. What an interesting guy! I'm so glad he planned this tournament.
We may play the games tonight. Yes! We have lights. Or maybe not.