Kamala Quietly Asks Aides If She Should Just Try Sleeping With The Economy | Babylon Bee
WASHINGTON DC — Vice President Kamala Harris was seen by several witnesses this week ask aides if maybe she should try sleeping with the United States economy.
"Would that help?" Harris reportedly asked, the question punctuated by nervous laughter.
According to sources, it took her team several minutes to figure out what she was talking about since she first broached the subject with vague questions about the economy's idea of the perfect date and whether or not it was seeing anybody.
American celebrity news site TMZ obtained the following recording from an anonymous White House source:
Harris: So how would I go about, like, setting up a private meeting with the economy?
Aide: Excuse me, Madam Vice President?
Harris: The economy. The economy, you know? It's something to do with money [laughter], but I guess it has some sort of problem, like not being able to buy food [laughter]. I need that problem to get fixed.
Aide: Sure, that's a good goal.
Harris: [inaudible] Yeah. Should I try sleeping with it, you think?
Aide: With...with the economy? I beg your pardon?
Harris: Would that help?
Republicans pounced on the idea that Harris would openly sleep with the economy for political gain and immediately called for her to drop out of the presidential race. "Trump would never sleep with the economy," House Speaker Mike Johnson fumed. "Plus, the economy is just not into her, okay? It has standards."
Reports indicate that top aides are trying to explain to Kamala Harris that sleeping with anyone to get ahead is unethical and also wouldn't work practically because the economy is "not a sexual entity."
At publishing time, Harris had asked aides if maybe they could arrange a romantic evening for just her and the economy at Red Lobster.
