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20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

In the 'Shinning' THoH episode:
Marge: [into microphone] Hello, police? This is Marge Simpson. My
husband is on a murderous rampage. Over.
[shot of Chief Wiggum listening]
Wiggum: [sighs] Well thank God that's over. I was worried there for a
second. [turns off radio]
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Homer: No TV and no beer make Homer go something something
Marge: Go Crazy?
Homer: Don't mind if I do.......ahhhhhhhh blblllbllblblb.....etc
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Bart: Knife goes in, guts come out, knife goes in, guts come out.....


Homer: Gime? Whats a gime? (walks into gym)..Ohhh a gime.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Wiggum: Time to bag us a cattle rustler!
Lovejoy: What in God's name is going on here?
Wiggum: Isn't this 742 Evergreen Terrace?
Lovejoy: No, that's next door. [next door, cattle all over the yard and Snake drives out of a garage]
Snake: Close but no doughnut, cops. [drives off]
Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a...car of some sort, heading in the direction of...you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.

Burns: Look at that pig. Stuffing his face with donuts on my time! That's right, keep eating...Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison donut! [cackles evilly, then stops abruptly] There is a poison one, isn't there Smithers?
Smithers: Err...no, sir. I discussed this with our lawyers and they consider it murder.

Marge: [answers the phone] Hello...Yes? Oh my Lord! Homer's in the hospital, they think it's his heart!
Patty: Oh my God.
Selma: What?
Patty: Five cents off wax paper.

Homer: Now I know I haven't been the best Christian. In fact, when you're up there yak-yak-yaking, I'm usually either sleeping or mentally undressing the female parishioners. Anyway, can I have $50,000?

Homer: Now I know I haven't been the best Jew, but I have rented "Fiddler on the Roof" and I will watch it. Anyhoo, can I have $50,000?

Barney: When I first heard about the operation, I was against it. But then I thought, if Homer wants to be a woman, so be it!
Homer: Barney, I'm not getting a sex change!
Barney: Huh? What the hell am I supposed to do with this jumbo thong bikini!
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

I know it's a quotes thread but this one is an all-time high point in the series.

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Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Another one of my obscure favorites, I searched and apparently this one hasn't been posted yet.

Homer: Here are your messages:
"You have 30 minutes to move your car."
"You have 10 minutes",
"Your car has been impounded",
"Your car has been crushed into a cube",
"You have 30 minutes to move your cube".
[phone ringing]
Homer: [answers] Yello, Mr. Burns' office.
Burns: Is it about my cube?
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Zudnic said:
Another one of my obscure favorites, I searched and apparently this one hasn't been posted yet.

Homer: Here are your messages:
"You have 30 minutes to move your car."
"You have 10 minutes",
"Your car has been impounded",
"Your car has been crushed into a cube",
"You have 30 minutes to move your cube".
[phone ringing]
Homer: [answers] Yello, Mr. Burns' office.
Burns: Is it about my cube?
Click to expand...

Homer: Here you go sir, I laminated your newspaper so you wouldn't get ink on your hands.
Mr Burns: But how am I supposed to do the Junior Jumble?
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Phoney McRingRing: You're probably thinking, "Sure, more area codes are great, and I don't mind paying the extra hidden fees, but how will I remember all those numbers?" Well, scientists have discovered that even monkeys can memorize ten numbers. Are you stupider than a monkey?
[cut to the audience]
Wiggum:How big of a monkey?
[back to the film]
Phoney:[laughs] Of course you're not.


Bart and Lisa are in the backyard looking into the doghouse
Homer: Television broken?
Bart: No. There's a badger in there.
Homer: Badger, my ạss -- it's probably Milhouse. [crawls into
the doghouse] Milhouse ... Milhouse!
[the badger attacks. Homer screams and beats a hasty
retreat]
It's a badger, all right. Possibly a griffin.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Zudnic said:
I know it's a quotes thread but this one is an all-time high point in the series.

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Click to expand...

haha
homer: "c'mon kids, lets go home"
bart: "we are home!"
homer: "that was fast"
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

From the episode when Burns and Homer are trapped in a cabin:

Burns: You know, Simpson, you're not as objectionable as you seemed when
we first met.
Homer: No, sir, I am not.
~~~

Burns: And this doorknob, properly turned, will allow us access to the
cabin.
Homer: No going through the window for us!
~~~

Homer: "Oh Lord, protect this rockethouse and all who dwell within the
rockethouse."
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

From Sunday night's new episode:

Skinner: "Astonishing news out of Eau Claire Wisconsin. The Olympic committee has announced that mixed curling will be a demonstration event at the winter olympics"
Homer: "There's a winter olympics?"
(cutaway to Santa in a speedo high diving into ice water and penguins judging)
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

zamboni crash-test dummy said:
From the episode when Burns and Homer are trapped in a cabin:
Click to expand...

One of my favorites from that episode:

Burns: Tell me, Simpson. If an opportunity arose for taking a small
shortcut, you wouldn't be adverse to taking it, would you?
Homer: Uhh, not as such.
Burns: Neither would I. I've always felt that there's far too much
hysteria these days about so-called cheating.
Homer: Yes, a lot of -- hysteria. [worried look]
Burns: Mm-hmm. If you can take advantage of a situation in some way,
it's your duty as an American to do it. Why should the race
always be to the swift or the jumble to the quick-witted? Should
they be allowed to win merely because of the gifts God gave them?
Well, I say cheating is the gift man gives himself!
Homer: Mr. Burns, I insist that we cheat.
Burns: Excellent.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Lisa: "Father, as you know, we have been swimming. And we have developed a taste for it. We both agree that getting our own pool is the only way to go. Now, before you respond, understand that your refusal would result in months of..."
Bart+Lisa: "Can we get a pool dad? Can we get a pool dad? Can we get a pool dad? Can we get a pool dad? Can we get a pool dad? Can we get a pool dad? Can we get a pool dad?"
Homer: "I understand. Let us celebrate our arrangement by the mixing of chocolate with milk."

Homer: "All right. Everybody in the pool!"
Amish: "tis a fine barn, English, but surely 'tis no pool."
Homer: "Do'eth!"
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Gibber said:
From Sunday night's new episode:

Skinner: "Astonishing news out of Eau Claire Wisconsin. The Olympic committee has announced that mixed curling will be a demonstration event at the winter olympics"
Homer: "There's a winter olympics?"
(cutaway to Santa in a speedo high diving into ice water and penguins judging)
Click to expand...

And there was one along the lines of "The Winter Olympics are in Vancouver, the warmest city in Canada!" I also enjoyed Milhuus.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Zudnic said:
I know it's a quotes thread but this one is an all-time high point in the series.

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Click to expand...

One of my all time favourite lines is something I think most people overlook in the end of that.

Bart: Yep, there's your answer fish bulb.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

I always liked the "steamed hams" bit when I lived up yonder...
 
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