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20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Japanese gameshow crowd: Plummet! Plummet! Plummet!

Also:

Troy McClure: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such dates as last night's dinner.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

UNH '00 said:
Japanese gameshow crowd: Plummet! Plummet! Plummet!
Click to expand...

Wink: Don't worry, that "lava" is just orange-aid made by our sponsor, the Osaka Orange-Aid Concern!
Homer: It burns! It burns!
Wink: It's loaded with wasabe!
Homer: Before I go, I want to say something. Gameshows aren't supposed to be about cruelty, they're about greed and wonderful prizes like poorly built catamarans! Somewhere along the line you all lost the way. For shame.
(Wink and the audience hang their heads in shame)
Wink: Up next, a Canadian couple who are deathly afraid of scorpions! Sting those Canucks!
Homer: I love this show! Stupid hosers!
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

UNH '00 said:
Troy McClure: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such dates as last night's dinner.
Click to expand...

Lisa: Hi. I remember you from such filmstrips as Locker Room Towel Fight: the Blinding of Larry Driscoll.
Troy: You know, I was one of the first to speak out against horseplay.

zamboni crash-test dummy said:
"Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."
Click to expand...
Big time thumbs up on that one. Fantastic.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Kent Brockman: Ladies and gentlemen, er, we’ve just lost the picture, but, uh, what we’ve seen speaks for itself. The Corvair spacecraft has been taken over — ‘conquered’, if you will — by a master race of giant space ants. It’s difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive earth men or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain, there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I’d like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to…toil in their underground sugar caves.

Later...

Well, this reporter was...possibly a little hasty earlier and would like
to...reaffirm his allegiance to this country and its human president.
May not be perfect, but it's still the best government we have. For
now.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

gounhwildcats said:
Dr. Nick Riviera, Dr. Nick Riviera, please report to coroner's office immediately.
Man I'm really beginning to hate that guy.
Click to expand...

Actually, it was: "The coroner? I'm so sick of that guy! See you in the operating place!"
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

"Hi... ummm... let me have some of those porno magazines... large box
of condoms... a couple of those panty shields and some
illegal fireworks and one of those disposable enemas.
Ehhh... make it two."
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Dude Love said:
Actually, it was: "The coroner? I'm so sick of that guy! See you in the operating place!"
Click to expand...

One hand washes the other...Oh that reminds me! I got these gloves with my toilet brush!

Call 1-600-DOCTORB, the B is for bargain! You've tried the best, now try rest!
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

zamboni crash-test dummy said:
"Hi... ummm... let me have some of those porno magazines... large box
of condoms... a couple of those panty shields and some
illegal fireworks and one of those disposable enemas.
Ehhh... make it two."
Click to expand...

"Don't say you were drunk driving...I was at the pornography store. I was buying pornography."
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Zudnic said:
Lisa: Hi. I remember you from such filmstrips as Locker Room Towel Fight: the Blinding of Larry Driscoll.
Troy: You know, I was one of the first to speak out against horseplay.
Click to expand...

I've been reading a lot of scripts lately. It's much cheaper than paying to see the movie.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Bart: Homer, Can I get you a beer?
Lisa: No, I wanna get him a beer!
Homer: Kids! Kids! You can both get me a beer.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

zamboni crash-test dummy said:
Lisa: Are you an ivory dealer?
Blackheart: [laughs] Well, little girl, I've had lots of jobs in my day:
whale-hunter, seal-clubber, president of the Fox network,
and, like most people, yeah, I've dealt a little ivory.
Click to expand...

Lisa: Stampy's missing and Bart's gone too!
Homer: That wasn't part of our deal, Blackheart! That wasn't paaaaaaart!
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Dude Love said:
Actually, it was: "The coroner? I'm so sick of that guy! See you in the operating place!"
Click to expand...

I got a great memory, I just don't remember where I left it :).

Apu this bag has a head in it.

Oooooo a head bag. That means...it's...full of...heady goodness.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Don't make me run! I'm full of chocolate!

Lisa on Ice was on last night - love that one.

Ralph Wiggum lost his shin guard! HACK THE BONE! HACK THE BONE!
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Brockman: Well, here's a die-hard fan. Sir, your beloved Isotopes are about to make history. Any thoughts?
Homer: Uh-huh, it's a great team, Kent. We never gave up hope... I wanna thank Jesus, and say hi to my special lady Marge. We did it, baby! Whoo! Whooooo!
Brockman: The inspiring words of a fan who'll always root, root, root for the home team. Even if they lose this ga...
Homer: They lost?! Those losers!
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

Marge: So, Mr. Hutz, does my husband have a case?
Lionel Hutz: I'm sorry Mrs. Simpson, you can't copyright a drink.
Homer: Ohhhhh.
Lionel Hutz: This all goes back to the Frank Wallbanger case of '78. How about that! I looked something up! These books behind me don't just make the office look good, they're filled with useful legal tidbits like that!

Lionel Hutz: I'll have you know the contents of that dumpster are private! You stick your nose in, you'll be violating attorney-dumpster privilege!

Lionel Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, you're in luck. Your sexual harassment case is exactly what I need to help rebuild my shattered practice. Care to join me in a belt of scotch?
Marge: It's 9:30 in the morning!
Lionel Hutz: Yeah, but I haven't slept in days!

Marge: We've really got to stop hiring him.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

AMC said:
Marge: So, Mr. Hutz, does my husband have a case?
Lionel Hutz: I'm sorry Mrs. Simpson, you can't copyright a drink.
Homer: Ohhhhh.
Lionel Hutz: This all goes back to the Frank Wallbanger case of '78. How about that! I looked something up! These books behind me don't just make the office look good, they're filled with useful legal tidbits like that!

Lionel Hutz: I'll have you know the contents of that dumpster are private! You stick your nose in, you'll be violating attorney-dumpster privilege!

Lionel Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, you're in luck. Your sexual harassment case is exactly what I need to help rebuild my shattered practice. Care to join me in a belt of scotch?
Marge: It's 9:30 in the morning!
Lionel Hutz: Yeah, but I haven't slept in days!

Marge: We've really got to stop hiring him.
Click to expand...

Maybe the greatest Simpsons character ever...

Hutz: Mr. Simpson, I was just going through your garbage, and I couldn't help overhearing that you need a babysitter. Of course, being a highly-skilled attorney, my fee is $175 an hour.
Homer: We pay eight dollars for the night, and you can take two popsicles out of the freezer.
Hutz: Three.
Homer: Two.
Hutz: OK, two. And I get to keep this old bird cage.
Homer: Done!
Hutz: [proudly] Still got it.

Lisa: Mr. Hutz, why are you burning all of your personal papers?
Hutz: As of now, Lionel Hutz no longer exists. Say hello to Miguel Sanchez!

Hutz: First some ground rules. Number one, we get bathroom breaks every half-hour.
Evil Flanders: Agreed. Number two, the jury will be chosen by me.
Hutz: Agreed. [realizing] No, wait --
Evil Flanders: Silence!

Judge: The foreman will pass the verdict to the bailiff.
[Hutz hands him something]
Judge: This verdict is written on a cocktail napkin. And it still says guilty. And guilty is spelled wrong.
Hutz: Eep.
Judge: Will the foreman please read the real verdict.
Foreman: We find the defendant guilty.
Judge: Marge Simpson, I sentence you to thirty days in prison.
Bailiff: Next case, The National Council of Churches v. Lionel Hutz.
Hutz: Oh yeah, that thing.

Bart: Mr. Hutz when I grow up I want to be a lawyer just like you.
Hutz: Good for you, son. If there's one thing America needs, it's more lawyers. Can you imagine a world without lawyers?
[Hutz imagines a scene of people of all nationalities (plus Elvis) holding hands and dancing around in a circle under a rainbow]
Hutz: Argh.
 
Re: 20 years of Simpsons... Some fave quotes

MaizeRage said:
Hutz: First some ground rules. Number one, we get bathroom breaks every half-hour.
Evil Flanders: Agreed. Number two, the jury will be chosen by me.
Hutz: Agreed. [realizing] No, wait --
Evil Flanders: Silence!
Click to expand...

Evil Flanders: I give you the jury of the ****ed: Benedict Arnold! Lizzie Borden! Richard Nixon!
Richard Nixon: But I'm not dead yet! In fact I just wrote an article for Redbook!
Evil Flanders: Listen, I did a favor for you!
Nixon: Yes, master.
Evil Flanders: John Wilkes Booth! Blackbeard the pirate! John Dillinger! And the starting line of the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers!
Simpsons: Aaaaah!
 
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