What The Fark 6: FARK OFF!

[Kepler]

 

[French Rage]

When they reopen, will they accept tips?

 

[Slap Shot]

When they reopen, will they accept tips?

Just the tip.

 

[LynahFan]

Whatever you do, don’t order the brissket.

 

[MissThundercat]

Wait what? I've never heard of the place. I need to find one.

https://www.hamburgermarys.com/

 

[Kepler]

 

[dxmnkd316]

WHAT THE FUCK?!

https://twitter.com/aldotcom/status/1442204322335444992?s=21

One of the most sought boudoir photographers in the Southeast and champion barrel racer Matt Mathews is fighting back after he says state officials swarmed his property and took his opossum.

 

[French Rage]

WHAT THE FUCK?!

https://twitter.com/aldotcom/status/1442204322335444992?s=21

Is that a Mad Libs?

 

[dxmnkd316]

Is that a Mad Libs?

One of the most sought ________ (profession) in the _______ (location) and _____________ (obscure sport) champion, Matt Mathews is fighting back after he says _________ (government organization) swarmed his property and took his ________(noun).

Yes!

Also, who the fuck spells Matthews with one T? Fucking heretics.

 

[RaceBoarder]

I thought Barrel Racing was a Woman's sport....

 

[Kepler]

I thought Barrel Racing was a Woman's sport....

True fact: my MIL was a champion barrel racer as a teen.

 

[Kepler]

How Not To Be Seen

 

[Slap Shot]

How Not To Be Seen

Few details are available at this time, probably due to the suspect still being in a tree. But according to the report, police and firefighters are on the scene, and hostage negotiators—which I assume means people who would ordinarily be negotiating to free hostages, but in this case are trying to talk a guy out of a tree—have so far been unsuccessful.

The report says the man is “surviving” on “food and glucose packs” the officers have given him, although 48 hours isn’t enough time to be at risk from starvation, and maybe if they hadn’t fed him he’d have come down by now. As for his other needs, the report claims he has been “peeing in the tree” but that almost certainly means “peeing out of the tree,” which is surely making the hostage negotiators’ task even more unpleasant.

This guy is witty.

 

[Proud2baLaker]

I'm hoping they just got the "tranquilize him and put a trampoline under the tree" route like we've all seen them do with bears. Will make a great gif one day

 

[Deutsche Gopher Fan]

Wtf indeed

https://twitter.com/helenkennedy/status/1450576423928930307?s=21

 

[Kepler]

*** indeed

https://twitter.com/helenkennedy/status/1450576423928930307?s=21

"This one is dedicated to Jodie Foster"

 

[dxmnkd316]

"Huge fan of your work"

OMFG I laughed way too hard.

 

[Deutsche Gopher Fan]

"Huge fan of your work"

OMFG I laughed way too hard.

I’m a bigger fan of your earlier work LOL

 

[MissThundercat]

"Huge fan of your work"

OMFG I laughed way too hard.

Have you covered Pat Benatar? I'd like to hear your rendition of "Hit Me With Your Best Shot!"

 

[Slap Shot]

"Congratulations. I hope you sing better than you aim"